A random snippet of shit that's totally driving me fucking insane this week:

So you've probably heard all the kerfuffle regarding Dr. Rand Paul, the GOP's Teabagger-leaning Senate candidate, and his idiotic defense abhorrence open-mouth-insert-foot views on civil rights. If you've seen the video of his exchange with Rachel Maddow, you can't help but watch, jaws dropped to the ground, how clumsily and idiotically he handled a pretty gimme question, which goes a little something like this:

 "Do you believe that private business people should be able to decide whether they want to serve black people or gays or any other minority group, as they said?"

Anyone with half a brain and some common decency would say, "of course not." This kind of racist bullshit should never be tolerated, no less condoned. But not Rand Paul. This guy is a first-class, bonafide racist wingnut who justifies his beliefs because his daddy, Rep. Ron Paul (a favorite among the loony, socially-misfitted, politically disconnected bunch who believe in some kind of tax-free, no-government-allowed utopia), harbors a massive hard-on for the indefensibly retarded political and economic philosophies of that hack Ayn Rand. 

If we're to read Rand Paul's comments correctly - "Well what it gets into then is if you decide that restaurants are publicly owned and not privately owned, then do you say that you should have the right to bring your gun into a restaurant even though the owner of the restaurant says 'well no, we don't want to have guns in here' the bar says 'we don't want to have guns in here because people might drink and start fighting and shoot each-other.' Does the owner of the restaurant own his restaurant? Or does the government own his restaurant? These are important philosophical debates but not a very practical discussion.." THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - that private property supercedes civil rights, then that right there is the root of the nonsense the Tea Partiers, or fucking Libertarians, or whatever the fuck they're cleverly coining themselves this week, spew all about. 

Mind you, I had no real opinion of Rand Paul up until last Wednesday. I figured he was just like his father, a mentally disturbed crackpot with sharp and obscenely extreme views on government and race, but who would be condemned to live in the fringes of his beliefs. You'd think Paul would be smart or clever enough to tone down the rhetoric, or at least make some fucking semblance of sense, but no. And not just on the Rachel Maddow show; the imbecile this morning made the assertion that the Obama administration's been a real meanie to BP about this little matter regarding an oil spill. Or, as he so blithely put it, "shit happens, so live with it, because that's the Randian way."

I, for one, am actually kind of glad this asshole is around, because it proves what I've known for so long: politicians are some of the stupidest fucking people alive. Give them a few talking points to repeat over and over again, just to mask their backwards beliefs. We've seen this crap with Sarah Palin, and now she's got a bosom buddy in Rand Paul. The fuck!

America, I ask you plainly and clearly: look past the bluster and rhetoric. People like Rand Paul are fucking dangerous to this country. 

So, go on with yourself, GOP. Go on and continue to strike Faustian bargains with the racist lunatic fringe...you fucking imbeciles.

 Those mouthbreating, inbred, racist, homophobic pigfucking idiots over at the Westboro Baptist Church (you know 'em as the "God Hates Fags" bunch who targeted funeral services for our fallen servicemen, and for some reason that made sense to them and only them, picked a fight with Lady Gaga and got their asses handed to them) will be up to their shenanigans again next weekend. Their target?

Wait for it...

 Ronnie James Dio.

Yep, they're going to protest the memorial service for Heavy Metal's most awesome and righteous vocalist ever next Sunday in Los Angeles.  Because they've fallen for that time-honored ruse of believing that anything associated with Heavy Metal is the work of Satan.

It's not. I won't bore you with details, but, as a former headbanger who loved Dio and still loves Black Sabbath (with both Ozzy and RJD as vocalists), Heavy Metal was about as Christian a music genre you could possibly have. Hell, all this talk about Satan coming to get me is pretty similar to the fire-and-brimstone psalms that our Puritan forefathers sang on these shores some 400 years ago. And, from what I knew of Dio, he was pretty vocal about his love for God; the whole "I love Satan" thing was not just misconstrued, but a gimmick. Even the non-metal initiated could see right through it.

But no. The cuntbags at the WBC just want to spew their hatred. Problem is, they're going to spew their hatred against people they have no business fucking with. And, believe me, the Heavy Metal community is fully aware of the WBC's planned hatey shenanigans, and headbangers will NOT take very kindly to some ignorant, hillbilly pig rapists talking shit about one of their heroes.

In fact - and I'm not condoning violence here -  there may be some skulls cracked.

Maybe that'll make the WBC think very hard about what their next protest will be.

RIP, Ronnie James Dio. And if you are in Hell, kick Satan in the dick for us.

The fact that Floyd Landis finally came clean about his PED usage during his Tour de France victory didn't come as a surprise to me. Well, to anyone, really. His shameless pleas and denials - going as far as to publish a book maintaining his innocence, even though every one of his urine samples came back ultra-positive - were embarrassing displays of the delusional kind. So, really, the fact that he finally said, "Yeah, I doped," should have ended the matter, right?

But fucktard instead decides to act like a warped Cassandra, in the vein of Jose Canseco (who must seem like a personal hero to Landis) to throw Lance Armstrong under the bus is an unbelievably scumbaggy move. And this isn't a first for Landis; during his perjury trial, he and his lawyers tried to bully Tour legend Gred LeMond into silence by threatening to reveal some pretty personal secrets about LeMond, mainly that he'd been sexually molested as a child. Landis is a scumbag. A used, soiled, shit-stained scumbag that should be hung inside a burlap sack and beaten. 

Now, I'm not going to defend Lance Armstrong at all. Frankly, I find Armstrong to be a complete phony, and I don't doubt for one second that PEDs were being used by Armstrong during some, if not all, of his 7-straight Tour de France victories. In fact, he may have used PEDs before he won his first race - there's evidence that may link his PED usage to his testicular cancer. If the truth comes out that Armstrong did indeed cheat, I wouldn't be surprised. From what I know about the sport, it's saturated in PEDs; only the most morally scrupulous would not partake in PEDs.

But Landis has always been a lying scumbag when faced with the truth, and the truth now is he's going to bring a few people down with him into the very cesspool of shit-soaked deceit he crapped out himself. I don't like Armstrong, but, yeah, I can totally appreciate the seething anger in his voice yesterday when questioned by the media. I would pay big bucks to see a loser redneck dirtbag like Floyd Landis pick up his loose teeth with broken fingers.

And fuck Lance Armstrong, while we're at it.

This week saw the release of the remastered edition of the Rolling Stones' double-album masterpiece Exile on Main Street, complete with 10 never-before released songs. Along with the album comes a slew of articles and news stories behind the album - check out NPR's interview with Keith Richards. The reviews of the re-release have been nothing short of outstanding - Pitchfork gave the re-release the rare and coveted 10 out of 10 rating.

As a long-time fan of the Stones, I'm eager to listen to the remastered edition to my favorite Stones record. I think it's great that this album is getting the deluxe treatment it deserves.

Unfortunately, there's always that fucktard on the Internet who thinks this is a complete waste of time. You know him, the unnecessarily cynical douchebag who thinks this is just a ruthlessly evil ploy from the record labels to make people shill hundreds of dollars to listen to the same thing they already own. They spewed the same lame shit when the Beatles' remasters came out last September - "I already own this stuff, so why would I want to hear it differently?"

Because, you fucking philistine, that worn-out analog-to-digital transfer CD of Let it Bleed or Abbey Road or Blonde on Blonde is exactly that, a cheap-quality transfer that fails to capture the sonic greatness of these records. The remasters do exactly that: capture the warmth and that sonic WOW that was first captured on vinyl. Trust me, you cynical hack, "Tomorrow Never Knows" isn't just loud now; on the remastered Revolver, it fucking thunders down from the mountaintop. And that opening track from Exile, "Rocks Off"...holy Jeebus, that da-na-na-na, na-na-na-nah riff sounds like Keef's in your living room, cranking out that riff on his Fender Telecaster, Marlboro dangling from his lips. It's not just remastered. It sounds brand new.

So shut the fuck up, and stop ruining this for everyone else who's not done creaming their pants over the new version of Exile on Main Street.

And speaking of music, anyone who bitches about the lack of great music these days hasn't heard these new releases:

- The National, High Violet (which contains my new all-time favorite song, "Afraid of Everything," which speaks to me about my mid-life fears in a way no other song ever has).

- LCD Soundsystem, This is Happening

- The Black Keys, Brothers

- Janelle Monae, ArchAndroid

- The New Pornographers, Together

- Sleigh Bells, Treats (possibly the best album I've heard so far this year, and it's not even out yet; you can download a digital-only album from iTunes, or you can stream this album from the band's MySpace page; this album kicks ass!)

 So don't buy into the bullshit that quality music isn't around these days. It sure as shit is.

And, finally....fuck you, Arizona.