Ok, so this story is not my own, but happened to my lovely friend, Ben. He is a supervisor at a residential treatment facility for autistic and developmentally disabled (DD) kids. Ben is amazing with the kids, whom he supervises, and has lots of experience working with this population. Ok--I just want to set up Ben's credibility here--because of what's coming next....

Recently, Ben and another female staff member took three of their clients to the local community rec center to go swimming. Getting the kids in the pool was no problem. Getting them out, showered and clothed was another story altogether.

Ben had, in his care, two high-ish functioning DD clients. As Ben explains it, "When the two boys were getting changed to go into the pool, there were no other men in the locker room. But when they returned to the locker room after swimming, there were swarms of older men in the room. All naked."

The two boys, both middle school aged, began to laugh and point at the older men's genitalia. All the while, they shouted at the men, "Lick it like a lollipop, bitches!" Ben, extremely embarrassed by the situation, ushered both boys into the showering areas.

One of the boys, who we'll call "Lamar", obediently got undressed and into the shower. The other boy, who we'll call "Ricky", was much more difficult to corral. "Ricky" ran out of the shower area and continued to point at the older men. "Lick it, bitches! Lick it like a lollipop!" The men in the changing room began chewing Ben out, "You need to get those kids of yours under control!"

At this point, I'm sure Ben wanted to back hand the little bastard. I know I would have. But that is not in keeping with his role as an "appropriate adult role model and supervisor." So Ben was reduced to running after "Ricky" and leading him, sternly, back to the shower area. In the meantime, with "Ricky" in the shower, Ben went to check on the other boy, "Lamar." He was no longer in the shower, although the shower was running. Ben panicked! Where did the kid go. Ben looked left, he looked right. Where is that little kid? Then, Ben saw "Lamar" ... standing buck naked in front of the hand dryer...masturbating.

Ok, so Ben leaps into action. This time, he pulls "Lamar" away from the dryer and into a bathroom stall, in order to complete his business. (Which he does, thank you VERY much.) At which point, Ben gets both boys dresssed and into the awaiting van.

I never realized that hand dryers had such erotic appeal. Gives new meaning to the word blow-job. .