Well everyone, I shall be on a bus going to Mississippi here within a few weeks, actually a month from now. I'll be spending my first Christmas with a good friend named Sean. Smiles. Just kidding, he doesn't quite know this, but I have the ever most daunting crush on this hot chocolate.
Why am I going to Mississippi? Well, of course I hope to get in some veracious writing in, not to mention public speaking. I will however be making valuable use of my time with Sean while I'm there. Heh.

I would post a picture but I don’t want to deface him just yet. I'll keep you all in hooked suspense as you await my descriptions of the house and my happenings there and the people as well. Oh, and not to mention what I do there. Trust me, this will be heavily documented.

I did, however, manage to get a good glimpse of the huge house I will be staying in, and it's actually quite immaculate… it's also out in the middle of nowhere. The inside, as Sean was spinning me around like a top, is very clean, and it has that quiet yet elaborate look to it. Let me put it this way. His living room is larger than any of the trailers I have ever lived in.

Little does Sean know that this will be my first celebrated Christmas. Seeing as how people will be lollygagging with family and then some, I’d figure that I'll be  able to decorate a tree, and perhaps even have a shot of eggnog, with no alcohol of course. With cerebral palsy, alcohol is like a boost. It will screw me all up faster than you can say damn!

I'm sure that this Christmas will be the best one I have ever had. No doubt about that. At least I won’t be in some trailer crying myself to sleep wishing my mom would come home, at least I won’t have to be dealing with pain from cold raw numb fingers as I lay poised in the back of an old vintage dodge. I have a feeling that this time I'll finally understand what people mean when they say “Mary Christmas!”

I know that it's a time of celebration, but it never has been for me. What is so significant about this day? I've had nothing but bad memories. Isn't this the time of year where we all are supposed to rejoice, and love, clutching our hands and hearts in appreciation that the humans we love are still standing beside us? I mean, call me nuts, but I believe that's what Christmas is supposed to be. I'm excited. This year, I'll get to be center stage, and not just a mere speck in the background. Plus, Sean will be with me. That's another advantage. I can't wait to finally have the opportunity to dance with him slowly in the dim overcast of the lights in his house, and tell him happy holidays. I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting.

Many people have asked me what I want to have for Christmas, and I don't know how to tell them that I already have what I want to have. I have my life, and I have my spirit. The best part of all, I can give this life and happiness to people. Sean, for example, even though I won’t be able to give him any material items, I am making a Christmas poem for him. What kind of present will I get? I'll get the best present of all. I won’t have to be smacked around on Christmas as if I am some rag doll. I'll be able to wake up and smile at the calm atmosphere around me, and perhaps Sean and I shall have some hot chocolate together. I'll get to sit my mug down, take his hands in mine, and gaze into his eyes. I will feel, for once, at peace. Even though he won’t be able to see the scars on my arms or neck, that won’t matter. I'll have all I need to, and I'll give all I need to. I finally will be able to have a Christmas, happy and free as we, as a country, intended. I believe that will be the best Christmas present of my life.