Writing to the song, I'm just a kid by simple plan.
Well, as you all know and I'm sure completely aware of, I'll be going to Mississippi a few days earlier than planned. I'll be leaving on Wednesday rather than Friday. And what do I feel about it? Here are my thoughts.
Fact: I will be spoiled. My husband has made that real clear. What will I do! He’d better not stop me from writing, and then the divorce is so on!
Fact: two blind people will be alone together, possibly horny from watching our own version of descriptive porn. This should be interesting for any sighted person who walks in on us.
FACT: I'll be in a hue ass house! Now, given the clever astute person that I am, I have demanded a tour! My husband has showed me where things were, meaning dining room, living room, my bedroom, the bathroom, the pantry, the kitchen, and all the other important locations, but he did forget to show me one very important location. This location is very crustal… so I don't know why he didn't show me where this is. He didn't show me where the front door is!
Speculation: he says I will get fat. I highly doubt that and then some. I don't think I will get fat. Oh Jesus. Could you just imagine me, The Weird Writer, coming back and having a blimp sized body? The world would end!
Speculation: I will come back rich. Now I don't know whom in the hell started this rumor, but this could be anything further than the truth. I'll come back to Tallahassee just as poor as when I left, and to prove it, I'm already signing up for even more blindness services… I'm already on food stamps, so that's the bottom right there.
Speculation: I will come back published. Yeah, as if. I can't tell you how many literary agents have turned me down and then some. I know I have talent, and I know that I might not be the next Stephanie Mayer… oh wait, I'm way past her on the writing scale. Seriously, I've looked at my blog stats in the past month, and I'm much more popular than she is! I so totally rule!
FACT: I'm a better writer than Stephanie Mayer is any day. Just so you all know.
Speculation: I'll be on TV there. Who goes for a goddamn radio interview when you’re going to go on a vacation? Really?
FACT: I have awesome hair.
With that being said, I have no doubt that I will be in Mississippi and never want to come back. Although, I could never ever live there. For one, they don't have any public transportation, and you know how I am, I simply have to get out of the house and go to the library every now and then. I have to go to my writing spot and sit down with a cup of tea and plot out an interesting new fairy tales. The sad thing is that I wouldn't be the first who did the new fairy tale bit. Sad face. Oh well though. So, leave a comment below, let me know. Thank you all!FACT: yes, I look at the keys when I type. People read sex manuals before they fuck, so shut up.
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