Cross-posted on thebloggess.com. 

Conversation between me and twitter, who is kind of an asshole:

And that’s the reason why I don’t like twitter.  Because it’s judgemental and it never goes away.  It’s like your junior high boyfriend when you’re all “You hang up the phone first” and he's all “No, you hang up” and you’re like “No, you hang up” and he probably thinks he’s being all romantic by not hanging up but you really want him to hang up because you have to pee and you don’t want him to hear you peeing.  And that’s basically what twitter is all about.  This is like a tutorial for people who are new to twitter.  You should send new twitterers here so they won't be all freaked out when twitter starts molesting them because if you're not expecting it it can be very confusing.  Like getting your first period.  Basically this is the "Are You There God?  It's me, Margaret" of the twitter world.

PS.  If people try to tell you that twitter doesn't occasionally talk to you they are lying to you.  Or perhaps they just aren't observant enough.  Or drunk enough.  I don't know.  I'm not here to judge those people.  I'm here to help you. You're welcome.

Comment of the day: Thanks for the mention, poodle-muffin. What are you doing? ~ Twitter