Theodora L'Engle Knight

Theodora L'Engle Knight
Portland, Oregon, USA
July 02
Pack Leader, Her Royal Highness
Prozac On Paws: The Tale of Three Spayed Females
jewish writer/former screenwriter/recovering accountant from Boston now moldering in the rain in Portland, OR. and, yes, of course i should move but I battle with Agoraphobia and have trouble even leaving my apartment. but i'm blessed to have a fabulous 9 year old service dog Cocoa Chanel. Ella Fitgerald was my Official SD. she was 11 years old and so perky and such a trooper but she passed away in July. Cocoa has been stepping up and taking her job very seriously, which is so moving. so we now have a kitten. he drives us crazy and then he conks out wrapped around cocoa and we forgive him. we thought he was a girl. i named "her" Gloria Steinem and she was a feminist and a feline-est. but it turned out that Gloria's Balls had dropped. so his name is Gary Cooper or G-Coop. as annoying as he is much of the time -- apparently he's a Teenager now -- he takes our focus off of losing Ella, which was my intent when we adopted him.

it's not a lump as much as it's an unnatural swelling. i've been trying to ignore it for too long now. but i'm aware of it most of the time and it's uncomfortable.

please no lectures for putting this off although i deserve any and all of them. 

the last… Read full post »

kittyandcocoapicsandgirlscoutsandthinmintsandme pissedoffandmore

please click on this link and read some stuff about our Fabulous Outing today after a week of not going anywhere at all!  i'm extremely proud of myself and relieved that the darkness is lifting a bit. i'll skip the doctor's appoint… Read full post »

the  last two days i've felt bipolar 2 depression creeping over me. and trying to settle in. feeling sad and irritable and overwhelmed and feverish and sinusy and just wanting to pull a Rip Van Winkle and sleep until they can zap my brain back in to sanity.

i have very… Read full post »

(Note: i forgot to mention that the young woman who is dying, the daughter of my new and wonderful friend anne, has a service dog. SDs are beyond anything. this dog is also dying. if anyone has a direct line to God or Obi Won Kenobi, please tell him/her/it to stop… Read full post »

in case anyone is a film buff and especially loves independent film, the Independent Spirit Awards are on this afternoon on IFC. PT

they repeat at 7 PM PT. it's a fun and fabulous event. takes place in a tent almost on the beach in Santa Monica. song paradies, etc. 

now,… Read full post »

first of all and most importantly, most recent KittyandPuppyPics!!!

oh god, i was going to talk about Downton Abbey killing off Isis but i'm still in mourning. i mean, shit, each episode begins with a shot of the rear end of a gorgeous Yellow Lab. this really wiped me out. i'm… Read full post »

so my new friend Anne picked me up to go to her Toastmasters Club. it's an incredibly impressive group. there are ongoing competitions, it seems. and one of the guys there is a worldwide champion of some kind so the performance level is really high. 

it was very cool because newcomers… Read full post »

these are the days when i am so thankful that i keep a daily gratitude journal. a day like today makes up for the many many days when it's an effort to come up with at least 5 tiny things. "i'm grateful for breathing in and out. for having a roof… Read full post »

i've tried 3 times now to write a new post and given up. either hated my writing or my idea, my subject matter, my theme... i think i've finally figured out what's been going on. which is that i just don't feel safe on here at this time. no one has… Read full post »

(a couple of people didn't rate this thing. I'd be so grateful if you would. i know. i shouldn't need that and i don't. but it's a nice gesture.) okay, cutest thing ever. Cocoa loves her crate. it's green canvas with big black mesh panels. since Gary Cooper came to stay,… Read full post »

and his guest spot on Real Time with Bill Maher!

oh and i almost forgot his interview with Marc Maron on his podcast WTF with Marc Maron!!!!!!!!! he also did one with Carl Reiner that is a masterpiece. 

that's it. 

not vomiting anymore. Yahoo!!! not feeling well eit… Read full post »

okay, hiring people to work for you is not easy. it's super challenging for a mentally healthy person with great self-esteem who is not desperate to find someone and who is having a good day.

well, that is not me, as we have established. i will actually be pretty brief… Read full post »

i am feeling so proud of myself and beyond grateful for the fantastic opportunities that are coming my way!

kitty and kocoa pics plus fun shoes from rite aid

but, first of all, there are the kitty konquests and the kitty questions. for the first time, my kitten Gary Cooper… Read full post »

(before i talk about anything else, i need to mention that decades ago i got 2/3 of an MBA from Berkeley and 3/5 of a CPA. i worked in accounting and finance at one of the big ass firms in S. F. and then at Paramount Pictures and Universal Studios. lots… Read full post »

WARNING: this is about very very very very PTSD type stuff. very dark. very triggering. i needed to write it down. i needed to get it out and away from me when it all came up for me tonight. but it's as dark as it gets. so please don't read this… Read full post »

Latest pics of Kitty & of the Monster too.

after a week or more of houseboundedness and some deep despair -- well, a lot of despair AND some hopelessness thrown in for good measure -- i managed to take a shower (so i was clean clean clean) and to get Cocoa… Read full post »

note: i've been battling a persistent Bipolar 2 depression. i thought of this, a dark non-fiction piece I posted 5 years ago. 50 ratings and an Editor's Pick! back in those days. it takes place a few decades ago and mentions suicide several times. the lighter side. so please don't readRead full post »

A Pictorial of Gary Cooper seeming to abandon me and Cocoa Chanel... and then a Happy Ending!

Please click on this link for a lovely Pictorial that tells the whole story of Gary Cooper behaving oddly and seeming to desert me and Cocoa.... and how  it all turns out. … Read full post »

first of all, links to the Kitty and Puppy pics, some of which turned out beautifully this time around.

more about this on this post and on the OurS posts but, basically,

Gary Cooper Climbed his Kitty Kondo

Two More Pics That Didn't Fit on the Other PostRead full post »

Part One:

Prologue: Kitty Pics/Kitten in a Bag

first the good news. the good stuff. this is why i keep a daily gratitude journal because, even on the worst days when all i can say is "i'm thankful for breathing in and out...", it keeps me focused on what… Read full post »

more kitty pics

there is a lot more to say about today -- which i will fill in later and of course link to new kitty pics -- but this was kind of a surprise. the Vet tech came back in the room carrying Gloria and announced, "this is not… Read full post »

More Kitten and Cocoa Pics

it's been a rough week with the beginning of the HorrorDays and the attendant bipolar 2 depression, close to complete agoraphobic houseboundedness and just a touch of PTSD thrown in for good measure. but as Steven Wright says, "you can't have everything... where would you… Read full post »


The Fibroid Tumor That Ate Santa Barbara  


Chapter 1 of Prozac On Paws: The Tale of Three Spayed Females,


a possible memoir in progress.


Instagram">instagram i can't begin to figure out


Read full post »

speaks for itself. more pics of Cocoa Chanel and Gloria Steinem cuddling. two of them intertwined in another odd way. hard to decipher.

and some pics of my oddball Early Kindergarten collection. in my den. only 2 because the upload function stopped working. whatever, right?

Kitty Pics and my inanima… Read full post »

link to latest Kitty Pics on Our Salon. pretty freaking sweet. 

Kitty Pics. Would anyone like a kitten for a week? 

i love my kitten Gloria Steinem. i adore her. but, shit, man, every time i think i'm used to her shenanigans, she ups the ante. she slept really soundly… Read full post »