sleeping ugly. the darkest side of bipolar 2. no balance yet
when this eventually passes, i will write about it for myself and for those of you who know this awful Noonday Demon (Andrew Solomon) too well. i know it's the deepest of pits because i'm a tv addict extraordinaire and i couldn't even get into the comedy section of the Emmys. i can usually see the lighter side of a painful situation, but not now. not for several days now.
i just wanted to apologize to anyone to whom i have been cranky or brusque or gloomy or ungrateful. my husband died of the same cancer that killed Patrick Swayze. it was a brutal week anyway. and then the biochemicals took that and ran with it and here i am. (there is some hope on the horizon, which is why i've been able to read a few posts. mr. e wrote a poem for me or about me. please go read it. it's a small miracle at a time like this. the hope? i realized that i had forgotten to refill my thyroid meds. i'm back on them now. this could be the reason that i went into the deep end. and it could help pull me out.)
so i won't be reading posts. i'm sorry about that. if you pray, please pray for me. and/or do an act of random kindness to pay forward what is good in your life. this past week i paid for the coffee of the person behind me in line. didn't even look to see who it was. it felt good. this was before the gloom descended completely. i also sent someone a card that means 30 days free from Netflix. person too busy to tell me if it got there but whatever. i have another such card. please PM me with your snail mail address if you'd like it. i LOVE sharing any abundance i have.
PS. for animal lovers there is a new show on NatGeo channel on cable that starts Friday, i think, called Rescue Ink Unleashed. it's bikers with tattoos rescuing animals. could anything be any more cool? i don't think so.
for people who are into awful reality stuff, and no judgment here, this is kathy griffin's parody of the whole Jon and Kate Gosselin thang.