i've been in an unrelenting depression. i did manage to get to the doctor at the poor people's clinic where i was also able to see the mental health nurse practitioner. got them to up my thyroid med, add in abilify to my crazy woman cocktail. they also pumped up the gabapentin and decreased the cymbalta. we shall see what we shall see. many stories to tell from that day, some of them pretty freaking funny, but i can't cough up the energy to write this shit down. this is not the me of me. oh, yes, i did covet a woman's animal print light-weight rainjacket and she needed money so she sold it to me for $20 bucks. the jacket i've been picturing for months, in my head. being me for a small bit there, i do pop into anthropologie to ask if it was okay. the girls and i are beloved in these trendy stores.
yesterday was first appointment at the dental school. good news is i can bring ella with me next time. bad news is i was there for hours and will be there for many many many more hours and that i need $5000 worth of work on my teeth and gums. there's no flouride in the water here in oregon because neanderthals rule the state. i should have been using flouride washes or gell packs, it turns out. good news, my dental student loves books on cd as much or more than i do. whatever, right?
so now i pray that the revised crazy cocktail works so i can get back to the me of me who does not feel so hateful towards perfectly lovely Other People. in this state, well, i find People to be pretty much overrated, same thing with Life.
two people asked for photos of me in my new animal print raincoat. well, here we go. first pics are of our friends Anna (dark hair) and Cori snuggling with the canine-american portion of our interspecies family. cocoa begins to squeak the minute she gets near Rite Aid. then there are two of me wearing my raincoat. these are all lousy pics, but you can get the idea, i guess. (anna has a bad tooth and can't afford an implant, so she doesn't smile, just grins, but she has a radiant smile and we adore her.) the other staff Dog Lover whom we love love love is Diane. that bitch had the nerve to leave at 12 noon! then there is Brett the manager... so when i pathetically talk about our lovely visits to Rite Aid, i am talking about these people and about Julija at the pharmacy. and Greg. well, you get the picture.
this one is just goofy. yes, i smiled a few times. when the puppies are happy and they are SOOOO happy with their Rite Aid pals, then i'm relieved and there's a break in the dark clouds. i'm trying to hide my very gray and brown hair which has no style beyond being an extremely grown out pixie cut. but Charlie the pharmacist who never compliments me said that he likes my hair this way. so who knows? i'm thinking maybe a soft shag this time, colored, of course, bright red so it can be seen from space. that's the shade i prefer.