For the Yellow Starlings and for Grandma but primarily for the wonder that is Michael and Melissa of Metaness!

Happy Early (Tomorrow) Anniversary and many many more to the most supportive couple that an old broad could be blesse… Read full post »

okay, you have to understand that not only am i 56, i'm also undergoing radiation therapy for my benign brain tumor, george. so everything yucky that can be exacerbated by tumor treatment has been: acne, rosacea, dandruff, body pain, etc. plus i've gained 15 lbs from my bipolar 2 meds and… Read full post »

i apologize to cartouche, verbal, natalie not pedantic and anyone else with whom i've been explosive and/or harsh. no excuses, just explanations and education about the lack of parity for mental illness.

NOTE: okay, comments open again because i don't want to allow one person to harsh this thing. &nb… Read full post »

i've never done something this egomaniacal before. shit, no, i probably have. but i figured out how to scan stuff! i'm a tech idiot, so this is big. i couldn't find photos of Richard, my late husband, which means they are buried in a moving box, one that's too… Read full post »

preview of coming attractions: 

[me, much thinner than i am now -- there is no way that i could sit like that at this fattitude but i can still somewhat wear those stretchy pants. i'm wearing my favorite glasses that broke, holding ella who is wearing her pink Doggles tha… Read full post »

This is Part One of my series about Drinking and Sex in Portland, OR, which is far more exciting than Las Vegas, in its own way!!!!

this is a photo tease. i will post more in Part Two of this series. denese's husband really enjoyed my double chin, but i forgive… Read full post »

UPDATE OF THE UPDATE: i no longer feel the way i was feeling when i wrote the old part of this post. i've let go of the EP/Cover/Ratings shit, so i don't need any more advice and such on that count. okay, guys? not that i'm not grateful for all the… Read full post »

this started as a PM to a wonderful friend and then got out of hand. i realized that some very very dark dark dark shit was up for me and that i had to share it finally. i've never written about it. i've never posted about it. i was afraid. i… Read full post »

CONFESSION first and then Update: okay, well, those who read me know that i've been all into the fact that i'm a jewy Jew and where are the other Jews on here and such. well, i have a huge confession to make. when i am agitated, and there's been a lot… Read full post »

i've been wanting to write about how i met my beloved late husband richard for a while now. it's an amusingly good, dysfunctional and sexy story. but i've been obsessed with the stupid mediation with the painbody neighbor upstairs and other grim carp. the last thing i wanted to do was… Read full post »

what do i do right now? please. i'm too sick with nameless dread to read a whole long comment about what i should and should not do, as infinitely grateful as i am for them. i have to take action now because i can't be evicted. i will not survive. this… Read full post »

i'm not handling the whole "we all went to vegas and had a fabulous time and drank and drank and caroused and whatever else and you didn't" thing well at all. jealousing doesn't even begin to describe it. so i'm laying low until all the posts have been posted and read… Read full post »

i was planning to post anyway, but then i read junk1's powerful and gorgeous short piece -- http://open.salon.com/blog/junk1/2009/06/20/dont_be_afraid_its_just_me -- and i knew that i could not be eloquent about the sadness that has me snowed under on the same day that this exquisite piece… Read full post »

i'm so mentally ill right now that i am scaring people away like crazy. i get it completely. i do. i went from mania to ptsd back to mania and now i'm sleeping 20 hours a day and the poor wonderpups are paying the price for it all. and that is… Read full post »

i took one side in the recent os censorship battle and then i took the other side. i don't have the energy to recap the exchanges. it got too ugly and creepy on both sides. no one came out too well in the whole wretched thing, except those who tried to cool… Read full post »

i've always had eclectic taste, from the very sophisticated to the ridiculous. the ridiculous things? well, i call these items my Early Kindergarten collections. i LOVE bright primary colors, especially Red and Orange, miniatures of almost everything (well, there is one BIG exception to this.), trans… Read full post »

okay, this is a story that is really about how not to meet or choose your future husband. it worked out for me, except for the sad death part that will not be discussed in this piece. it was early 1990s and i was reaching the end of my 'ho-ishness in So.… Read full post »

well, i found the box that contained my photo albums and packs and packs and packs of pics over the ages. still none of either of my husbands, but i will keep looking. for now, because i'm horribly Chronically Fatigued and sick tonight, with high fever and such, i'm posting the best… Read full post »

Okay, once again I'm in that dark dark dark place. I know it's bad when kind acquaintances, good laughs with same and with strangers (I love strangers since they don't know my trigger points and can't go from my jugular, the way my first husband and my "family" were wont to… Read full post »

(For Those of you who might have ventured here because of the fabulous Mr. Mustard's seeds, this is not my typical post. This is crap/carp, fun but carp. Please read the Sadness, Regret, Poem post which is about Love and Kindness and all that good good stuff. I'm so grateful to… Read full post »

okay, i'm just adding the actual "date" in on top of what was a post about me freaking out about the date. turns out that i was right to freak out. the story is all in the tags. if you have questions or need more detail, please ask me in the… Read full post »