i took one side in the recent os censorship battle and then i took the other side. i don't have the energy to recap the exchanges. it got too ugly and creepy on both sides. no one came out too well in the whole wretched thing, except those who tried to cool… Read full post »

this started as a PM to a wonderful friend and then got out of hand. i realized that some very very dark dark dark shit was up for me and that i had to share it finally. i've never written about it. i've never posted about it. i was afraid. i… Read full post »

i apologize to cartouche, verbal, natalie not pedantic and anyone else with whom i've been explosive and/or harsh. no excuses, just explanations and education about the lack of parity for mental illness.

NOTE: okay, comments open again because i don't want to allow one person to harsh this thing. &nb… Read full post »

i've never done something this egomaniacal before. shit, no, i probably have. but i figured out how to scan stuff! i'm a tech idiot, so this is big. i couldn't find photos of Richard, my late husband, which means they are buried in a moving box, one that's too… Read full post »

i was planning to post anyway, but then i read junk1's powerful and gorgeous short piece -- http://open.salon.com/blog/junk1/2009/06/20/dont_be_afraid_its_just_me -- and i knew that i could not be eloquent about the sadness that has me snowed under on the same day that this exquisite piece… Read full post »

okay, you have to understand that not only am i 56, i'm also undergoing radiation therapy for my benign brain tumor, george. so everything yucky that can be exacerbated by tumor treatment has been: acne, rosacea, dandruff, body pain, etc. plus i've gained 15 lbs from my bipolar 2 meds and… Read full post »

This is Part One of my series about Drinking and Sex in Portland, OR, which is far more exciting than Las Vegas, in its own way!!!!

this is a photo tease. i will post more in Part Two of this series. denese's husband really enjoyed my double chin, but i forgive… Read full post »

preview of coming attractions: 

[me, much thinner than i am now -- there is no way that i could sit like that at this fattitude but i can still somewhat wear those stretchy pants. i'm wearing my favorite glasses that broke, holding ella who is wearing her pink Doggles tha… Read full post »

(i'm taking a little break from my break to tell you all the saga of the city inspection of my apartment.)

okay, it's done. it's over. it was a freaking breeze after all the worrying and pre-worrying and obsessing about everything that needed to be cleaned while sitting paralyzed on the couch&nb… Read full post »

(please keep checking back because i will be updating all night with more brilliantly witty remarks and please pass this on to your friends on here because i am an ATTENTION WHORE but i also just plainly LOVE AND LIVE to make people LAUGH.)

because i can play favorites as… Read full post »

okay, this is a story that is really about how not to meet or choose your future husband. it worked out for me, except for the sad death part that will not be discussed in this piece. it was early 1990s and i was reaching the end of my 'ho-ishness in So.… Read full post »

well, i found the box that contained my photo albums and packs and packs and packs of pics over the ages. still none of either of my husbands, but i will keep looking. for now, because i'm horribly Chronically Fatigued and sick tonight, with high fever and such, i'm posting the best… Read full post »

i'm not handling the whole "we all went to vegas and had a fabulous time and drank and drank and caroused and whatever else and you didn't" thing well at all. jealousing doesn't even begin to describe it. so i'm laying low until all the posts have been posted and read… Read full post »

CONFESSION first and then Update: okay, well, those who read me know that i've been all into the fact that i'm a jewy Jew and where are the other Jews on here and such. well, i have a huge confession to make. when i am agitated, and there's been a lot… Read full post »

UPDATE OF THE UPDATE: i no longer feel the way i was feeling when i wrote the old part of this post. i've let go of the EP/Cover/Ratings shit, so i don't need any more advice and such on that count. okay, guys? not that i'm not grateful for all the… Read full post »

(and i am one funny freaking bitch. i'm not being an attention whore, for once. this and Part One are a polished chapter of my memoir in progess, Prozac On Paws: The Tale of Three Spayed Females, about recovering from agoraphobia with the help of service dogs for invisible disabilities/psychiatric di… Read full post »

i've been wanting to write about how i met my beloved late husband richard for a while now. it's an amusingly good, dysfunctional and sexy story. but i've been obsessed with the stupid mediation with the painbody neighbor upstairs and other grim carp. the last thing i wanted to do was… Read full post »

i've been holding back on this news. i'm not sure why. it's great great news, i know. i'm enormously grateful. the part of george that is gone is the part that had invaded my sinuses. breathing is often taken for granted, but, shit, turns out it becomes more and more important… Read full post »

okay, this is going to be very short and i will update it later because my immune disorders are kicking my ass today and i feel like crap on a cracker. i keep writing carp so maybe i feel like carp on a cracker. i'm not sure. so george is gone… Read full post »

I am so honored that Sao Kay agreed to let me interview her. Well, I consider it more of a conversation. We’ve become good friends on here. Sao is not as well-known on here as she should be. And i was blessed to be wonderfully interviewed by Junk1, so i'm paying… Read full post »

The past few days have been a bit brutal. i've been trying to write part two of the mediation story -- me verses the clog-wearing-banging-around upstairs neighbor that i call the Painbody or PB for short, but it seems that i must have dissociated during the actual meeting, just left my… Read full post »

it seems like fathers have been in the ether lately or at least they have been for two people i adore. i don't know if that is what has brought my dad to the surface of my memories. it could be the ether thing,  or it could be the forgiveness.… Read full post »

i've always had eclectic taste, from the very sophisticated to the ridiculous. the ridiculous things? well, i call these items my Early Kindergarten collections. i LOVE bright primary colors, especially Red and Orange, miniatures of almost everything (well, there is one BIG exception to this.), trans… Read full post »