Welcome to the Second-Ever Wise Guise Survivor Fantasy Draft! Survivor is as relevant and intriguing as ever! We’re using the same rules as last time, unless any genius has a better idea. Here is the agreed upon format for the proceedings…
Classic, fantasy, snake style draft. Each of us will have a team of 5 to “coach” throughout the season. Two remaining castaways will be left standing all by their self on the proverbial playground, and any points they accumulate go to no one. As we saw last season, those players can indeed accumulate a lot of points.
Here is the point system: Survivor Winner: 50 points. Survivor Runner-Up: 20 points. Survivor Third-Place: 12 points. (If the non-winning finalists both receive same number of final votes, each one is awarded 16 points, PGA Tournament style.) If your player makes the jury: 5 points. If your player wins an individual immunity challenge: 3 points. If your player wins an individual reward challenge: 2 points. If your player is selected by the winner of the individual reward challenge to also participate in the reward: 1 point. Every episode your player survives gains them 1 additional point.
Let the record show that each of us fall in vastly different parts of the fandom spectrum. Joseph, as many of you know, is Mr. Survivor, he’s the mega-fan. Colin is a regular Survivor viewer and casual fan of the show. Clayton has seen only 1 full season of the show and has only seen bits and pieces of various seasons due to past roommates. As far as he is concerned, Russell is the greatest Survivor participant ever.
Last season’s results were as follows, with the final rundown of the season being interesting with each of our Wise Guise having a contestant in the Final 3.
Team Joseph: 121 points
Team Colin: 91 points
Team Clayton: 71 points
We’ll base our next season’s draft order on previous results. Since some people in America like communism apparently, we’re going to draft in reverse order of previous season’s finish.
So, Clayton, once tonight’s premiere finishes airing, you have the first pick. Colin, you’ll have the second pick. And I’ll then have the third and fourth and we’ll continue until each of us have a team of 5.
Best of luck, boys! As we saw last season, you don’t really have a chance!
Clayton: I would say that I don’t need to wait until after the first episode to make my selection. I’m clearly just going to take the hottest one. HOWEVER, there is a big difference between every day hot and stranded-on-an-island hot. For this reason alone I shall take my full allotted time to make my selection.
Colin: I say we have to draft one person “pre” season premiere. Game.Changer. (Ba ba banh!)
Joseph: I’m down for that if Clayton is. For all your ideas Colin, this one may be the least bad one.
Clayton: Ummm did you not see my last message about needing to see who is island hot? This idea is clearly a direct violation.
Colin: I can’t wait to give you a swift kick in the coconuts.
Clayton: So if we did a pre-pick each would we still start over with me again at 1 after tonight’s episode?
Joseph: Hahahahaha… Hmmm… sure. I didn’t think that was part of the deal… but I’d sign onto that.
Clayton: Trust me, when I take stripes I’m moving out… So are we doing a pre-first episode pick? I’ve got mine ready if so…
Colin: Pick already! Damn son.
Clayton: Since I have yet to see who is island hot yet I’m going to try something and go with a sleeper pick with Roberta “RC” Saint-Amour with my first pick. Let the games begin!
Colin: Sex therapist chick. For obvious reasons…
Joseph: I’ve been waiting for Mike Skupin to get another shot at playing this game ever since the episode aired on March 1, 2001. He was my favorite player that season. And I’ve been waiting for his return ever since. Needless to say, I’m excited. Needless to say, there’s no way I can not add him to my team at the very first opportunity to do so.
Mike Skupin. For the win. He may be a decade older, but he’s also a decade wiser. And he’s still the man!
AND HE HAS SURVIVED FIRE!
LET’S DO THIS!
Also, let the record show that if our pre-show players survive this episode, we get 1 point.
Also, while making this pick and preparing for Survivor premiere tonight, I’m eating a basic salad, a half plain grilled chicken breast, and black beans.
#SurvivorPreparation #All-In #Committed #Outwit #Outplay
Clayton: Aha! The two hottest ones made it through round one! It’s almost like they bad choices or something…
Colin: Plain Chicken? Sounds like a Hammertime special!
After watching the season premiere in which Zane gets voted off…
Clayton: With my first post-watch pick I’m going with Malcolm Freberg. Boom. Championship.
Colin: Pete Yurkowski, not too confident with this pick but I need a “strong” guy on my squad.
Joseph: First of all, some general thoughts on the season premiere and cast…
- LOVE the three tribes of 6. I remember seeing a Jeff Probst interview where he discussed the need to do something about 4 or 5-person alliances forming at the beginning and going all the way through, ala Kim and her Krew from last season. I love the idea of smaller tribes that forces people to play better games earlier on. Think of it like a short-handed poker tournament instead of full tables of 9-10 for awhile. It forces everyone to play better games from the beginning. AND, it ensures an inevitable and unforced shakeup when they merge into two tribes.
- Zane, Zane, Zane… how I miss you already! You gave us so much gold in only 3 episodes. Further proof that CBS doesn’t fix the game, because he would have been perfect for commercials on NFL Sundays. He gave us so many great moves that showed he was just a fry or two short of a happy meal and going really far in this game. Too mad scientist-y, too quickly. Zane, we’ll miss you and your ambiguous metaphors and truth-talking.
- Skupin is as great as ever. Couldn’t be happier about my pick of him.
- Jeff Kent, MVP, struggling from the start. But seems like a great guy and hard worker, without being too dominant of a physical threat. Could take him far. Blair from Facts of Life on the other hand… she’s gonna have to buck up!
- Love the cast. Diverse. Quirky. Lots of characters that stand out and some that lie back. But what makes a Survivor season great is when the ones that chill in the background early are actually fascinating people and good players. I think we have that here. By gut instinct…
So picking after only one episode makes this much more of a crapshoot. So on Team Fire (in honor of Skupin, or SKOOP as I like to think of him), the next two people joining Mike are…
- RC – the girl seems feisty, aggressive, and someone who will often have a crew of minions following her. I like her style. I doubt I’d be friends with her in real life, but I do think she has what it takes to go far in this game.
- Artis Silvester – yes, he’s on the outskirts of the powerhouse alliance on that tribe right now. But I gotta think Blair will be facing The Facts of Life before he will. And then maybe a tribal shakeup. Because I see this tribe as is getting immunity a lot. Another intriguing part of having three tribes…. you don’t have to win… you just can’t lose at this stage. Apparently, he’s a cancer survivor and just has a wisdom about him. AND HIS NAME IS ARTIS SILVESTER! Ball game.
Clayton: And Joseph hops on the board this time to be the first to try to draft someone already taken! Congrats!
Colin: He was so giddy in that lengthy email he must have forgotten your pick! Also, apparently he likes the yellow team.
Joseph: Well, I’m an idiot. My bad. I thought you’d taken the Brazilian chick. Who I have no desire to have on my team.
Ideally, I’d like a strong guy on my team. But I have no desire to have this Carter fool on my team.
So we’ve got Skupin and Artemis. Goodness… this really is a crapshoot. I’m going Sarah Dawson.
Colin: Katie Hanson. She kept looking at me with those “eyes” last night on the premiere. Also, can’t let Clayton get all the cute girls, Stovall needs eye candy too!
Joseph: Katie was who I was targeting next. I like her chances. Good pick. Shoot.
Colin: Wait is that Vanderbilt sarcasm? My UT education doesn’t allow me to pick up on your cleverness.
Clayton: I’ll take Carter and Abi-Maria. Now I HAVE taken the Brazilian chick who thinks she’s way hotter than she really is.
Joseph: Just at the point where I decided I should take Carter next chance I get… Yikes.
Colin: Jeff Kent, fingers are crossed he’s a homerun pick. OHHHHHHHH!
Joseph: We’re gonna close out Team Skoop with…
Roxanne Roxy Morris – She’s a seminary student from Brooklyn who has Jesus on her side. She also seems to have her head on straight and can play a strong game of laying low until she has to make big moves. Seems to have it together.
Man… last pick is a tough one.
Rounding out my team with a risky choice…
RUSSELL SWAN! Here’s to hoping he rebounds from having a big target and plays a solid game, hopefully allied with Roxy. I’m banking on Little Miss Teen Utah and her boy toy getting some focus and maybe the tribe targeting one of them… if not the team pulling together and actually winning immunity a few times.
Alright boys, that’s Team Skoop:
Colin: Joseph you sound about as sure of your team as ol’ John L. Smith! I honestly don’t know who is even on my team, and don’t feel like looking back at the link to see my options. I know I am definitely not taking that “insurance” sales girl(don’t trust sales people). I am going with STRIPES!!! Got ya Clayton
Denise, Pete, Katie, Jeff “MVP” Kent, and Angie
Clayton: Ugh dammit. I’ll take Dana. Gross.
RC, Carter, Abi-Maria, Malcolm, and Dana
Joseph: And there we have our teams… Everybody’s team has 1 point after the season premiere and a long season ahead! Get pumped… there will be excitement around every turn. And out there, unpicked are: Jonathan Penner and Lisa “Facts of Life” Whelchel.