With so many complex and pressing problems to address, Congress and the Obama administration have understandably relegated lobbying reform to the back burner. And no one really expects them cut off their primary income stream. But the Unhappy Gods of Good Governance just won't let the issue die -- everyone wants political corruption to just dissolve away on its own like a mortgage company operating out of a battered trailer, but it sticks around like an infected, uninsured tooth.

Hence, a recent article in the New York Times about one of Washington DC's "star lobbyists" (someone had to fill the void left by Jack Abramoff), whose shop is under federal investigation for campaign finance violations.  According to the chef at the luxurious restaurant where now-nervous senators were fed like pharohs, the "star lobbyist" would swagger into the kitchen like a hairy-chested actor in a pork barrel porno and shout:

Get me some Oysters! Get me a rack of lamb!

The chef didn't disclose wether the lobbyist ever marched into the kitchen and shouted "Get me a conscience!"  But reading about a scene like this makes the truth all too clear -- when it comes to lobbying and campaign finance, congress is like the alcoholic who has switched to beer and wine.

So what can we do? We, the people, need to something to break the drug cartel-style relationship between corporate money and congress.  Those AIG bonuses everyone got so understandably mad about pale in comparison to this issue.  And similar episodes will keep coming back, over and over, until the campaign finance cancer is finally and fully removed.

I have one idea, which involves food (since it seems to be part of the problem, it can also be part of the solution).  And I welcome ideas from others, food related or not.

Here's my idea:

Foodbanks are struggling to keep up in a climate of rising need and declining contibutions. So, we get Obama to issue an executive order (or some other king-like procedure put in place by Bush, Jr.) that in effect says "Sure, go ahead and keep doing your slimy drug deals, but from now on the only place in-person contact can occur is inside food banks. And, the membership cost for the priveledge of operating in the real world is $100,000 per firm, payable to said food banks"

The positive impacts:

Foodbank funding shortages? Gone, in the ultimate marriage of greed and need.

Improved constituent contact? Met, in a PR spin of epic proportions, with senators shaking constituent hands  while lobbyists fume over plates of Reduced For Quick Sale chicken.

Healthcare reform? One TB sneeze floating across a senator's face will do more to affect change than a million op-eds ever did.

The negative impacts:

Some hair-gelled stud destined for prison marching into the kitchen and shouting "Get me more Ramen!"

Well, you can't have it all. Change takes time.