Power, religion has, merit; religion has not. Recently many voices warn against the dangers of religious fundamentalism, especially the rising militant right wing evangelicalism. No, I will not pick on Evangelicals; although, if the right wing crusaders get their way, Islamist terrorists will look like boy scouts. That religious fundamentalism (RF) is unhealthy, even fatal, is now a universal fact. RF is a malicious, deeply rooted, real disease of any society that is dangerously gaining too much ground in America. Even worse, it has nothing to do with religion; it is purely tribal politics, just some angry fucks want to kill others and take their money.

We must stop such very expensive useless ridiculous wars against drugs and sovereign nations and start dedicating our resources to fix education and health care. If we must wage a war—other than that on greed—it has to be against RF, here and abroad. This time, we must be rational, well informed and prepared. All nations must participate in the war against RF and America leading by example should reach out abroad and legislate at home. We must regulate Religion. In the following pioneering plan, I will not touch religion, religious beliefs, or freedom of religion. First, as an example, I will show how we can easily defeat Islamists’ ideology and eliminate their support abroad…from home.

We can beat religious terrorists at their own game. Islamist terrorists, for example, simply hijack Islam; pull religious falafels (fatwas) out of the asses, forging the Koran and the Sunnah (the teachings of the Prophet Mohammad) in favor of the violence they preach. Islamists’ ideology is, too, political and tribal; they do not have, as I will show, a religious leg to stand on.

Here, we must remember that many Arab countries began hunting down Islamists (for example, Islamic Jihad in Egypt) and killing them long time before we started the war on terror. That Islamists are hated in Muslim countries is a fact. Moreover, we (and Britain) gave sanctuary to terrorists like Omar Abdul Rahman (World Trade Center 1993 bombings and mentor of Al-Zawahiri), and when the Egyptians warned us and asked to extradite him, we told them to go fuck themselves.

Fortunately, Islam makes Islamists the easiest to defeat and here is why. If we invite the top Islamic scholars from all over the world—let’s say to join a proposed American Islamic Supreme Council—they will all agree on the following facts:

1. Muslims consider the Koran to be the word of God, revealed to the Prophet Mohammad by the Angel Gabriel. The key fact is that not one letter of the Koran has been changed since its writing in the six hundreds. That is, there is only one version of the Koran, only one book, only one source of reference.
 
2. Muslims should live by the Koran and consult the Sunnah, especially in areas supposedly not covered by the Koran. Here is the best part: if there is any doubt about any issue, according to the Koran, the Koran will take precedence, anytime, anywhere, and on all matters. The Koran, one book, is the only authority.
 
3. Islamists lie, spin, cut, paste and attribute sick shit to their Koran and Prophet; and together with the enemies of Islam, run with it and recruit terrorists. The American Islamic Supreme Council with all its international Muslim scholars will expose the Islamist ideology as blasphemy and denounce Islamists as heretics…legally. That is, according to the Koran/Supreme Islamic Law. Game over. The media must finish the job by exploiting the shit out of the findings of the Council, defaming Islamists all over the world into oblivion.

4. Taking advantage of the fact, that Islam is not an organized religion—no recognized authority—studded with international Muslim scholars, an American Islamic Supreme Council would represent Muslims all over the world and become a beacon of light. Existing American Islamic institutions, busy with trivial shit like the fucking hijab, are obviously amateurs who have failed to defend their own religion at home and defeat Islamists’ ideology abroad.

For a while now, Muslim scholars everywhere have been exposing the heresies of the Islamists. Here are just a few examples from the Koran on the relevant issue of how Muslims should treat peoples of other religions—the “infidels.”

“O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another.” 49:13

“And if your Lord had so willed, He could surely have made humankind one nation. People will never cease to disagree.” 11:118

“And had your Lord willed, those on earth would have believed, all of them together. So, will you then [who are YOU to] compel humankind, until they become believers?” 10:99

“And when We took from the Prophets their covenant, and from you (O Muhammad), and from Noah, Abraham, Moses, and Jesus, son of Mary; We took from them a strong covenant.” 33:7

“Verily! Those who believe and those who are Jews and Christians, and Sabians (look it up), whoever believes in God and the Last Day and do righteous good deeds shall have their reward with their Lord, on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.” 2:62 and repeated for emphasis in 5:69

“Verily, those who believe, and those who are Jews, and the Sabians, and the Christians, and the Magians (ancient Persian Magus, fire-worshipers), and those who worship others besides God, truly, God will judge between them on the Day of Resurrection.” 22:17

“…Be just witnesses and let not the enmity and hatred of others make you avoid justice. Be just: that is nearer to piety…” 5:8

“Surely, We have sent down to you (O Muhammad) the Book (this Qur'an) in truth that you might judge between men by that which God has shown you, so be not a pleader for the treacherous.” 4:105
“And seek the Forgiveness of God, certainly, God is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” 4:106

[4:105-106 are two of nine verses (4:105-113) that were revealed to the Prophet Mohammad in defense of a Jew. A Muslim stole, and his friends and family tried to pin the crime on a Jew. The Prophet almost believed the Muslim thief and his friends and almost ruled against the Jew. The nine verses came to warn the Prophet against such an error and urge him to ask forgiveness for what would have been an unforgivable offense.]

The 72 Virgins Myth

The number 72 is never mentioned in the Koran. The phrase “72 virgins” is never mentioned in the Koran. However, the Koran promises the pious—both men and women—beautiful companions in heaven (S55, 56 and 76). That is all. Yet, just for you perverts out there, I found the phrase 72 virgins in “1001 Arabian Nights” and in a pornographic subdivision called “The Return of the Old Man to his Youth,” after the author describes how honey and butter massage will increase the girth of your penis. The horniest Arabic account of heaven I found comes from Al-Suyuti (Koranic commentator and polymath, died 1505). It sounds like a Viagra commercial.

"Each time you sleep with a huriyah (splendid companion) you find her a virgin. The penis of the chosen pious never softens. The erection is eternal; the sensation that you feel each time you make love is utterly delicious and out of this world and were you to experience it in this world you would faint. Each chosen one will marry seventy hur (singular, huriah), besides the women he married on earth, and all will have delicious vaginas."

The God-General Warning: Crimes against God

The premise here is simple. Moses, Jesus, and Mohammad preached love, peace, and justice; denounced unprovoked violence; and defended the poor. That is the true universal God model. Preaching violence against other human beings is a crime against God, and above all, a crime against man. Theological differences, according to God, will be judged only by God—there is plenty of scripture to affirm this; for now, read the Koranic verses above. Sweden found out years ago, that since crimes against man are punished by man, may be crimes against God should be punished by God. 

A long-term solution for RF is the mandatory teaching of comparative religion in all schools. Yet immediate measures must be taken. Each of the tax-exempt religions recognized by the government should be required to authorize and present a single doctrine of teachings/beliefs regarding the status of the followers of other religions.Each religion must be required to, clearly, state who goes to Hell. All citizens must have full knowledge of their status according to every religion. Each citizen must know what religion condemns her to hell or wants her dead. The clergy are free to preach anything they want, except hate for others. Hate must be regulated. Laws must be enacted to regulate religious hate and a new government agency must be established to enforce these laws. Any negative speech about another group of people is politics, never religion.

If according to the Koran, for example, Texans will go to hell and Muslims should kill Texans wherever they find them, every mosque must put a sign outside stating exactly that. Surely, the Koran has nothing against Texans and mosques will not be required to hang such signs. Yet, if any Muslim Imam is ever heard spewing shit about Texans, his Mosque must be shut down by the government, because he is in violation of the laws enforced by the Office of the God General (OGG), or the Department of Religious Crimes (DRC), take your pick.

Similarly, Evangelicals can preach against the poor and on the second coming of Christ all they want, but if a pastor teaches that Jesus will smite all Jews who do not convert, the pastor must be required by law to put a sign outside his church stating exactly that. It is hard to imagine how big a sign a right wing militant pastor would need; they hate so many people.  

It saddens me that since we are talking about religion, I cannot use scientific arguments like the fundamental truth of unity and that I am one with you, the universe, and God, at a sub-nuclear level; and that if you claim to know God, or even worse, speak for it, you are a fucking idiot. Religiously speaking, rather, if there is a God, it must be both universal—a god of everyone and everything—and good, because that’s what the brain God gave us wants.

Thoth © 2009