“In the beginning, there was doggy style; then man-on-top; then woman took man from woman.”

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Eve and Lilith graduate from university the same year, two strong independent women. Eve works for a women’s magazine, becomes the editor in chief; but best of all, now she writes “Dr.” before her name after she earns a degree in psychology. Lilith opens a successful women’s clothing shop. Unlike most women best friends, Eve and Lilith are nothing alike. Eve is a thin tall beautiful-faced blonde with long hair, gorgeous azure eyes and prominent breasts—a mainstream’s dream. Lilith is an exceptionally feminine five feet four fair voluptuous brunette with big brown eyes and long adorning lashes. Even though she sells fashion, Lilith is nowhere near au courant ideologically or physically.

Enjoying the façade of their perceived superiority by the rest of the women at a party, Eve and Lilith find themselves unintentionally joining the rest of the pack in a gynoid sensory fanfare—murmurs, giggles, legs and hips shifting, and muffled clitorises buzzing mixed with a plethora of exploding vaginal scents—announcing the arrival of Jack. Both Eve and Lilith instantly fall in love with Jack; for, what’s not to love? Jack is a tall, dark, confident, intelligent, funny and extremely handsome dandy.

Jack is an upcoming actor/writer who later builds himself a fine reputation in Hollywood as a respected and professional producer and casting director; because, although he is knee-deep in pussy he doesn’t fuck actors. Jack dances with Eve and Lilith, one at a time. And even though Lilith makes Jack come in his pants, Jack falls for Eve, asks her to marry him and she says yes. Heartbroken for first time in her life and believing that Jack is rightfully hers, Lilith still decides never to seduce her best friend’s, now, husband, again.

Ten happy years and two beautiful children later, Eve thinks there must be something wrong with a fop who does not fib. She starts to resent her perfect loving husband. Jack, on the other hand, loves Eve so much and tries his best to understand and tolerate his wife’s inexplicable estrangement and hostility. Watching Jack suffers; Lilith confronts Eve, and defends Jack. Angry and unsatisfied with Eve’s jejune responses, Lilith finally lets it out: “you don’t deserve him.” “No, he does not deserve me; if he’s so fucking great, you marry him…I’m sorry, Lilith, I didn’t mean it; I can’t think straight…I’m taking the kids to Disneyland for the weekend…I’ll call you tomorrow,” said Eve.

The long shower does not help; sad Jack sits in silence; he misses his cold wife; he misses his children; he grieves. He looks up and sees Lilith standing there, but not the Lilith he knows. This is the lascivious Lilith he danced with ten years ago; the Lilith who knows that a dandy will not mount until she squats before him. Lilith carries Jack into the heavens; she gives him the ride of a man’s life. Then, Lilith leaves an ecstatic penis, a guilty Jack, and foreign thong and lipstick for Eve to find when she returns.

Eve divorces Jack and kicks him out of his Brentwood house; he moves to an apartment in West Hollywood close to his children. Jack never stops asking for Eve’s forgiveness. Moreover, seeing his wretched state, close friends and acquaintances, including some famous stars, approach Eve and plead Jack’s case to no avail. Regardless of what they say to her, Eve’s response is always, “he lied to me. How can I trust him?” This is the gold standard slogan of breakups.

Meanwhile, Jack refuses to see Lilith for a year. Two years later, Lilith finally marries the love of her life, has her first child, Adam, a beautiful baby boy. Jack is the happiest he’s ever been and he adores his new wife. Even better, Eve’s children decide they want spend most of their time with dad.

Eve cuts loose Jack’s fan club, which includes almost everyone who knows Jack. Now, there is no one, except for her children, to nag her about the greatness of Jack. Eve says she is very happy and she feels nothing about losing jack, thanks to Prozac. She dates nice men. She is also very busy delivering speeches, writing blogs, and making television appearances: giving advice about relationships. Best of all, she has three new dogs; she calls them her babies.

When it comes to relationships and marriage, may be men don’t have a say. May be men’s role in life is to be put center stage by women and then picked. One thing I know to be true. Lilith is not a fox after her dinner; she’s a supreme paramour; she’s a specialist; she won.  

Thoth © 2009