ThroughMyEyes

ThroughMyEyes
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East of nowhere,
Birthday
July 29
Bio
"Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content." ~Helen Keller

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Salon.com
FEBRUARY 7, 2013 11:07AM

Cardboard Hell

Rate: 9 Flag

 

I hate board games. I’d rather be bathing in chicken fat. Friends bait me. They say they want to come for a nice quiet visit and within 45 minutes the cardboard is laid out, the plastic colored pawns have been personally chosen and I've filled a glass with one hell of a strong Black Russian. His name is Aleksey, aptly chosen for meaning the great defender. I’ve never met an Aleksey I didn’t love.  

 

Monopoly:

Tell me why those little green row houses are supposed to be appealing. A few windows boxes, a door mat, the fellow with the lantern and a pink flamingo out front wouldn’t hurt. What were they thinking? You want us to play the damn game bring some culture to the table. Then we have the pawn choices; a dog, a top hat, a wheel barrow, a race car, a boot, an iron, a battleship and a thimble. With all due respect to Parker Brothers does it not appear that of all the available choices the battleship would be the clear winner in this war? Did you know a Republican invented this game? Surprised huh? There are nine streets named after States. We’ve got three blue states and five red states. Mixed in there we’ve got Va. in the purple district. Considering Va. is holding a Republican majority, for all intents and purposes it’s a friggen red state. So, I ask, where’s the elephant and why not just name the damn game Monopolized?   

 

 

Trivial Pursuit:

Got to love this one. I can only play this game with our friends Percy & Babs. It’s the only way I can stay amused. I always get Babs as a partner. I used to think Babs was a button short of a radio but she surprises me at times. And when she gets on a roll I have to let her run with it. After all, I still have Aleksey on my side.   

Question: Who invented the polio vaccine?   

Babs:’ Whadda ya call it? Whadda ya call it? Dee help me out. Whadda ya call it?”  

Dee: “A vaccine for Polio.”  

Babs: …Umm….salt…..  

Dee: *perk. You can do it Babs*

Babs: “Salt….salt….water…..polio….whadda ya call it….ummm…salt..salt….  salt water…DR.SALK!”  

Dee: *Are you f***ing kidding me!*   

 

Mad Gab:

Knowing my repugnance for board games my son-in-law thought he’d be clever and get me a “box” game last Christmas. This game consists of cards with mixed up words on each card that when sounded out create a phrase, or should. I know you’re all going to sound these out aloud, as it should be. These are a couple of easy ones.

Go for it:  

Example: Plea Sack Chore Rage    

Example: We Ant Me Tan Amour  

So there we sit…four Forrest Gump’s and not a savant among us. Pleasack chorage….Pleasa k chorer age….Plea Sackcho rerage… Please ack choreage…..Please act your age!

Weant metan armour…..we atnme tanamour…..we antan a mour….Shit shit shit….Weeeeeeeeeee ant met tanamour…… We Can’t Meet Anymore!   

Did I tell you I hate board games?  

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Steel, indeed a huge Heh-heh! Thanks for stopping by!
How 'bout cards? (take a gulp of Aleksey)

How 'bout poker? (take a gulp of Aleksey)

How 'bout you bet an article of clothing? (refill Aleksey)
Joisey,
As long as Aleksey is sitting next to me I've been known to do most anything.....
*my response to you , Joisey, was wrong on so many levels...but hey, it's happened.........in my younger days of-course.
yikes... if this is true i wanna go slit my wrists, both of em:
"So there we sit…four Forrest Gump’s and not a savant among us. Pleasack chorage….
Pleasa k chorer age….Plea Sackcho rerage…
Please ack choreage…..Please act your age! "

i got not a goddamn inclination to act my age or watch that stupid
movie f.g again...

i suppose i hope for this kinda stuff: "she surprises me at times. And when she gets on a roll I have to let her run with it."
James, don't slit unless you call me first. I'll bring the Aleksey , you can gather the cardboard. I can be there in 15 minutes. 20 if traffic is heavy on 84.
I don't want to grow up either. *she said as she walked down the hallway to collect toilet paper droppings her mother throws about* Role reversal....one game I've yet to master.
Yes. Dr. Salk....... Dr. Jonas Salk. .......or are we past that question now?

(*ᴥ*)

.
Kin I get Babs "e" addy?
.
Sky, you'd don't want Babs. You want Aleksey! ;-)
I had lots of fun once playing that game on the back of checker boards...backgammon. It is exotic and flows so beautifully around the board. Games can be fun with the right people.
Zanelle, chess and backgammon always baffled me. I never could sit still long enough to put that much thought into those games. Although I do enjoy cribbage.
I like playing Cribbage, though the computer cheats!!!! :D
Tink: the computer cheats no matter you do on it!

Kosh: Hi!
i think you mighta mentioned u hate board games.
the only way to get thru a board game is to make it "strip-"
strip scrabble .
strip monopoly.
you get the idea.
James! We're buried so it could happen! How you there?
me? i am the HERO of the damn blizzard.
i went out at 3 am and shovelled 2.5 FEET of snow,
a path to the road, then the sidewalks,and!
i shovelled a path up to the SOBER GIRL's house!
i live in a , uh, ha, (not so) SOBER men's house.
those guys did their best yesterday but all for naught cuz
it drifted.

i got nowhere to go so i am happy. power on. computer & tv working.
you?
James, you're the man. I just posted some pics. which I have no doubt looks very similar to where you are. You friggen shoveled this!!!!!!!!!!!
So - when I come to Panama I should leave my Sorry at home? And hey! Did you hear they're replacing the iron with a cat!?!?! My sister is going to be devastated, of course. She LOVED that iron.
Kit* When you "both" come to visit us in Panama you're very welcome to bring your Sorry game. I will play..with Aleksey. I did hear about the iron to cat switch. It should have been an elephant. I suggest we stage a revolt.
oh it was fluff.sure, 3 feet of fluff, but not wet.
hour and a half's work, i am a hero.
nobody else wants to do it, they wanna complain about how
it aint their responsibility.
saw yer pics. my scene is similar
And a donkey.... I am very fond of donkeys.
What a jackass comment, kit

: )
It's not the first jackass comment I've ever made. I expect it won't be the last.... That's just the way I roll.
HA! Love both your comments Kit and Joisey! Roll????? God not a dice game!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would this be a bad time to tell you that I have a pair of die sitting within an arm's length of my computer and sometimes I roll them just for funsies???
Kit, I cannot get out of my house. Pls. do not make it more painful than it already is.... Question...umm...what is it that excites you about rolling dice for funsies? I mean after the roll....what happens? are ya trying for sevens and hoping the day goes better?
I think you need some intervention.. I'll send the Ghost Hunters over as quick as I can, (knowing how much you like em'.) :>]
RIC! how the heck are you!!?????? I'd love the intervention because ,yes, you do know how much I did love those guys. Not so much now that Grant is gone. I've had to resort to.....to....let me think....no not that game...hmm...not that one...will get back to you. Have been thinking about you two. Fill me in via my email. ;-) Hi to Tres!
check you PM.. And I watch Ghost Adventures now. I like this show because they get pretty scared, (and show it) sometimes.

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCLEzY7rNwO7MasVbotjctJOLcB4NToTD
Ric, I've watched them too. I like the bald guy that's scared of his own shadow. The crew leader, the used to be a bouncer ,I can't stand. But...they are an interesting lot!