I go to big box stores, like Costco, for one reason – to save money. What happens? I always spend too much! Me in a big box store is a recipe for disaster to my sanity and my budget. Here are some of the reasons I hate big box stores:
1. There is just too dang much in one place. Maybe it’s my tinge of ocd, maybe it’s the romantic idea I still foster of a European lifestyle…just picking up the fresh cheese and veggies each day at the open air market. I fancy myself very Hepburnish (Audrey in this case…although Katherine rocks too) carrying my bag up to my flat with my baguette and fresh leeks peeking above the paper edge – scarf and glasses rounding out the image. In reality I am cruising into the garage of my ranch with a Whole Foods take out chicken and premade broccoli salad in my SUV with my uncoiffed hair being sucked out the windows that I have to leave open for the dogs. I probably forgot my glasses.
2. Reason number 2 is pretty much the same as number 1. There’s just too dang much stuff…who needs all of that. I have a weird crush on Switters. He’s a Tom Robbins’ character in Fierce Invalids Back from Hot Climates. He’s not good husband, boyfriend, or even friend material, but Switters rocks. One of his best lines is – “The more I see advertised, the less I want to buy.” Ads assume we are all idiots. And I guess we are because we buy more and more crap. And, at big box stores the crap is just laid out like treasured bounty pulled out from the vault or up from the deep. Take one, it’s there within your grasp…who gives a crap if you need it or not! Shiny things!
3. Sadly, reason number 3 is yet again, the same as 1 and 2. There’s just too dang much stuff…it freaks me out to think how many calories are in that giant box of “you’d never buy this if it wasn’t so cheap”….And the thought of blowing my nose all the times it would take to use that gazillion box pack is scary. Even more scary is listening to Husband blow his nose all the times it would take to use all that up. Moose (meese?) coming running when husband blows his nose. We don’t live anywhere near moose country…it is loud!
And...Finally, a different reason I hate big box stores. I get way too caught up in people watching! I usually run into someone I know…that’s cool. The amazement I have is for the folks I see nowhere else. Last time I ventured to one, I saw a small, elderly Asian woman dressed head to toe in a hot pink satin old west saloon outfit. Satin hat, feathery fringe and all. I kid you not. She looked happy so I smiled and nodded…she beamed. She must have put me under some kind of spell. I left that day after going in for tuna and salmon with cal king sheets, 2 rugs, and a giant pack of chicken wings that would have fed a buffet. Switters, I have forsaken thee!
I hate big box stores!