Not Your Mothers Enema:

Ten Stealable Titles to Up your Blog Traffic

 Warning: This started out as a purely silly exercise but as is usual I found myself becoming more and more serious in my humor. Some of these titles may be offensive, okay some of them are meant to be offensive as well as informative. If you easily get pissed off or just have a hair crossways up your ass today, skip this one. Come back and read one of my light hearted lets all love each other posts which are just as genuine and easier to digest. Don't say I didn't warn you.

1) Not Your Mothers Enema: This one works. It got you here. People like scatological stories and want to figure out what could have possibly been done to modernize shooting water up your ass.

2) 12 Hard  Inches: You've been a bad boy. The nuns are angry. They have rulers. Can you help it if others have a dirty mind? bonus tags: the priests weren't the only ones after my ass that day...

3) I Aborted My Twelve Year Old Daughter: It always pays to combine two topics that everybody is interested in. What more natural combination than children and abortion?

4) Gay Marriage is for Faggots!: Incendiary yet true and unarguable. You know who is sure to come. May piss off  les/fems who will feel excluded so it has a secondary life as a shit stirrer that way too. Win-win. bonus tags: betrothed bungholers betray biological benefits of heterosex

5) I'm Ashamed of My Fat Ass (and I'm not ashamed to say it): People love to get riled up about body issues. We have seen this play out before. Make hay off of peoples personal fears. It works in politics and cosmetics. It can work for you too.

6) Testical Trauma-My Madcap Adventures in the ER:  Guys can't pass up the train wreck of watching another guy get his nuts wrecked. Freud would say that women have their own special attraction to the subject. This post could be a make up call to the les/fems you pissed off with the gay marriage post. bonus tags: she smiled as she swabbed my balls

7) The AIDS Diet: make up the most hurtful inconsiderate title you can think of. Pretend you can't imagine how any one could be offended and that you are the innocent victim. Faux flounce. After much "soul searching" return and admit to the error of your ways. When readership begins to die down again repeat same behavior in someones comments. (This is known in the biz as "a modified DR. A666 Turnabout."

8) Fiction Surge Did I Miss an Open Call?: Okay so this title aint going to get you shit for readers but it heads one of the best written posts by one of the best writing authors on here. Take a little time off of snagging  other peoples eyes and feast your own on some of the best and most under-read material on OS. If I could write like that I wouldn't worry about a good title either.

http://open.salon.com/blog/scoubidou/2009/06/06/fiction_surge_did_i_miss_an_open_call

9) AnaLingus (Pictures that will make your cheeks hurt): Post pictures of your cute puppy, Ana that will make us smile til our face hurts. I know this one is a bit lame but I didn't want you to think I had gone completely Lenny Bruce with the serious- humor thing. Also once again everybody loves a scatalogical reference. Bonus Tags: analingus-the bottom feeders guide to oral sex.

10) Finding Your Emotional G Spot: How the hell would I know? It just makes you want to find out how to get there.