BILLY YOU"RE DEAD SHUT UP!

I know it sucks being dead and all. Maybe it is even worse for you who were so used to being heard. And maybe you're still at it bravely slogging along to make sure your family is taken care of. Billy buddy it's time to let the next generation move in- to let go of the spotlight and go to your eternal rest.

The Shamwow_tm guy requests your silence. He's trying to make a comeback after bitch fighting with a hooker and he has to compete with the spectre of ol' charming Billy popping up on the tube. He was there at that big wrap party for your life. Chef Tony made a few nibbles in his Wonder Oven_tm. Everyone toasted you with frothy drinks whipped up in the Bullet_tm. They've had their goodbyes Bill but you just won't go. There you are shilling the Weed Aug_tm and OxyBrite 3000_tm. It's just creepy having a dead guy yell at them out of their tv. 

People don't do well with the undead Billy. You have us scared. There is a mob rising up out of tv land and talk of "handling" the OXYZOMBIE_tm. For their sake, for all of us I beg you, go peacefully before they make good on their plans to go to the grave yard and put a Silver Bullet_tm in your heart.