After reading Padraig Colman's recent post on the quality ofOS and leaving a long comment there despite promises of brevity I decided to ask OS a question. Who is Tijo? In my comments at PC's post I told him that I found it ironic that his quote of my comments from elsewhere would inevitably get more reads than anything I have posted here in my own little slice of OS and yet I seem to be reasonably well known here. Also during the recent fistacuffs over mental health someone said that they refused to be lectured by anyone even if it was Tijo. (Implying that there is a Tijo that you all know and know what she, the commenter, is talking about). There have been several instances such as this that have made me wonder lately who I am in regards to OS (how you all see me) what good I am serving by being here and whether there is reason for me to continue along in the same manner that I have thus far.
The Salon part of open salon appeals to me, (the open isn't bad either). I think that level of discussion and discourse that I was looking for here is for one less frequent than I had hoped and for two never invoked/provoked or in any other way been voked by my posts. This is not to devalue those who have stopped by here regularly and developed a relationship but to describe something of an identitiy crisis and possibly a crisis of confidence that there is any reason to continue that identity. This is not a flounce, a request for advice on how to build readership, or improve my writing skills, nor a search for platitudes but a real question about what purpose I serve here and I hope that those of you who read this will give me some real answers.
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Agree with the better writing than most places etc. but am beginning to wonder about the whole big picture of being here and if I really serve any purpose here. Either personally or communally.
I don't think being here is about serving a purpose...I think it's about self expression...when i started here, I had 2 or 3 readers, if that, for the longest time. Now I have friends here, real friend, and readers who aren't even on OS, who just read my posts...
Robin- I probably give so few details about my personal life because it is mostly all work and home. After living in cities most of my adult life I live in a small rural town. There is little of interest around here that doesn't involve at least a thirty minute drive. Very little intellectual stimulation for sure. And that is part of what I was hoping to find here that is sometimes hit or miss.
I feel like I have said nice things on your blog posts. I have especially loved your posts about mental illness and being a fellow human to those who struggle with a diagnosis.
I think we have a lot in common.
What you add to the community here is sharp, precise, often hilarious posts about whatever subject you choose.
I don't know why you're here either.
But you are definitely HERE.
You're someone I look forward to seeing here, if that answers your Who Is Tijo question.
:)
Well, the discussion would happen if we stopped long enought o consider, took time to participate, or cared enough. Most of the time most of us are too concerned with writing. However, don't lose hope, as there are types like me, that are blogtramps, and spend their whole weekends couped up home, just reading, reading, redaing blogs and that love to get into long discussions about issues that matter personally that is (at least am honest: right now Singles' Oppression and repression is eating me, then there is the concern about losing good writers should they decide standards at OS are falling bec there is no standard here nd the Editors practice favouritism, Roger did something good, though, I saw one cartoon at least that was repeated on the cover again this time, which isn't fair is it?)
When an idea is brought to the open and is on the table: if we gave it enough gestation time by devoting time and attention to it, if we write more than "I agree" I think you would get the stimultaing conversation you really are hoping to find. We do have raging ones at Newton's sometimes, bec we take care to keep afloat - we study, think get back. He takes care to study, reply and get bcak - so it is kept alive until something new crops out of it. I enjoy it immensely at our Tao Goup's sessions. You have been there too - so you know it exists in crooks and crannies. You remember the long discussions that went on about Gay Marriage rights once and you and I were avidly contesting Mishima's views? That has been fun.
Rtd for relevance
Besides, your opinion counts. Keep visiting other blogs, sharing your views there, often when you comment and are really talking, it leaves a seed of thought that get taken up by others - which is fine. One of the roles lucky writers play is to do just that: plant an idea, that catches people's imagintaion, makes them think and write about it. Just be what you havebeen doing.
I often seek out that one blog no one is reading and often it turns out to be one of the best apart from visiting the regular ones I do, especially I make it a point to read people that I care about and that cares about me. We are all humans, the same principles of behavior will apply anywhere that humans conglom. There is no other second way. You smile and you get a smile right back. Most often. Unless, people you smiled at are utterly boorish or in terribly bad mood.
I don't think any of us "serve a purpose here" exactly, just keep writing when the spirit moves you, and I'll keep reading and occasionally leave a comment if I think I have something to add, or just want to leave an encouraging word
Be well
find some peace today my friend
Suzanne
I'm not the right person to tell you how to build an audience. A number of people here have compared me to Chandler, Faulkner, Cheever--even Hemmingway (!)--and I STILL can barely get 20 hits per post. I've also been told in PMs that I scare people, that people feel they are bothering me when they comment--as if I were somewhat crossed up with Dracula in their minds. So, if who is Tijo, who is Scoubidou? What vibe are we giving off, and should we really change it?
If you feel like quitting, wear that hat for awhile. I'm confident you will be back. This stuff is addictive, as writing is itself.We will be waiting. But don't take too long--cause I enjoy seeing yr stuff.
It's funny because I recently went to a party in san francisco where someone kept telling me, "you can't doubt yourself" and "you have to always do self-promotion" (this person had lived for several years in L.A. you see) and I just realized that I could probably never live up to those two dictums.
The fact is that I like people with identity crises who question themselves (I also wish to know: who is dolores) because I think its part of that process of trying to find something real.
So I hope you don't answer that question who is Tijo or let others answer it for you any time soon. The only way to really know is to keep on writing. We don't get paid to write here, so we might as well consider it a labratory for testing audience responses...
And your post about how being gay taught you everything you need to know about being gay--phenominal. You have talent, humor, style and honesty. There are worse things you could have going for you....
cheers.
I love your posts, and your comments. You were among the first to comment on mine, and have consistently offered encouragement and support on multiple issues to many here.
ALSO - I very much appreciate both your humor and your insight as you share it here - this includes (but is not limited to) gay history/pride, athiesm/spirituality, mental health, family, art/music, politics - man, you're just incredibly well-rounded!
That being said, you are also a warm, witty guy. We need to get together sometime and drink under a starry sky.
I'm not here a lot anymore but I would like to agree with what everyone else said. For me, you come across as wise and thoughtful and those are qualities that I value. You are also funny and clever and witty. You are one of the few OS'ers I would like to meet in real life b/c I think I could learn from you. I do think you are special
—Melissa
Talk to Me. I think there is a web page `Talk To Me?
There were two interns who labored as Helpers on the farm.
They traveled across this country on their bikes. `Talk To Me.
That was a cardboard sigh request:`The sign read:`Talk to me.
I last saw them in Gettsburg PA. on there way to New York City.
They were attending:`Columbia University. It was 4- years ago.
`
My respect to Tijo. Tijo was the first warmth?
Tijo expressed the first words of Hospitality.
I'd drop Tijo off to pay my parking citations.
A Gettysburg PA parking fee is outstanding.
Tijo reminded me I forgot to send payment.
Tijo will pay my probation fee for Trespass?
I was arrested in a Waynesboro PA bank.
I got NO trial. FBI covered it up? Right?
Well? Why is it taking so long? Lawyer?
How many times do I request? Oh, Tijo!
I wish You worked with Peter Angelos?
He owns a Orioles and drops law cases.
No be jailed! But, help prove`Predator.
Predator Lending is rampant. Oh, Tijo?
Talk To Me. Where's a honest attorney?
There are Not any? I no ever met two ...?
I had No jury trial and I had no attorney.
Oh well. I am glad I bump into Grandma?
Love Grandma and poor old Tijo. okays.
Love dear Melissa. No kiss happily weds.
She looks younger and better in person.
Like, less ass kissing more discussion. Less "fite!" more debate.
having been a member of an online community that is entirely about threads, which is most peoples experience, a blogging community is disconcerting. It's hard to open up conversation because people are, y'know, blogging.
But look, you managed to achieve a huge sense of community here, on this post. A salon of sorts.
I wouldn't know you if I hadn't followed some of your posts, and now here I am having a virtual conversation with you.
Blogging together is totally different from online commnities that are based on threads. Here, you link into one person's thang and rate or don't rate, comment or don't comment. Unlike a thread based online community, we're all swimming in our own small ponds as big fish.
But sometimes, and more often than not, huge bursts of love and understanding and respectful disagreement erupt all over the place.
I would be interested if you have any ideas about having a "salon" within OS. Like the book club - just a get together to talk, I guess. On someone's blog or a "salon" (nothing to do with SALON), hosted by a new OS account.
I suck at IM'ing and all of that because I type like a toddler. I would love to participate in an online salon.
Anyway, you are obviously a treasured member of this community, like it or not.
Alert me when you post. You rock.