Dear Bank of America:

I reject the Annual Percentage Rate Increase Amendment.

Timothy J. Stark  Acct# xxxx xxxx xxxx xxxx  exp. 00/00

Please change this card’s status to “pay only”.

As you can see from my record with you, and my credit report, I have never missed a payment (with this card or any other), and have been paying off the balance at a rate of $2,000/month.  This high balance card, used in a small business, has netted you thousands of dollars in interest payments over the last few years.  It has also moved a few bucks to my alma mater, a relatively poor public school that you offer a bit to in exchange for appearing as their financial services face.  I hope they find a better representative.

 You have written me to say my credit is not up to continuing our current relationship.  A year ago I had seven vehicles (personal guarantees on business vehicles) on my personal credit report and that is now down to one, most of my credit card debt is paid off, and the number of new inquiries is not keeping pace with the number of accounts I have (properly) paid down.  Increasing my level of unused credit is a good thing, right?  I can also tell you that the majority of the mortgage and credit card debt remaining is by divorce decree being paid by my ex-wife, but that really shouldn’t matter as it was all on me last year when things were fine with you.  My credit score is higher than it was when you were automatically increasing my limit last summer.

All this is to say please go fuck yourselves.  You don't simply send me notice of the rate increase, you include this part blaming me for actions you are taking to rectify a situation you created.  I’m the kind of risk you do want on your books you disgusting hypocrites.  You cry babies lose a bunch of money acting like children, get most of it handed right-the-fuck back to you, and then, still, you have to lay the blame elsewhere.  Bullies, Sheriff Bullock reminds us in the last episode of Deadwood, "just can't shut up."  Even when they win.  I realize you have of late been fighting to make the federal cut, but blaming me for your sweaty forehead is a prick thing to do, you cowards.  I recently had a colonoscopy during which I felt a lot more dignified than you should at the height of your day.

I will continue to pay this card off at the accelerated rate I have been doing the last few months and you can kindly shove it up your collective ass.

Have a nice day.