It was going to be a great getaway weekend in Maine.  Two shows for me to play and a whole bunch of new folk exposed to my performance and music.   A road trip. A breath of fresh air away from the heady New York City air.  More air in the lungs.  The plans were all set, the car reserved, the time taken off from work,etc., etc.  But no.

 The shows have been canceled and there is no sense to spend money on all that gasoline to drive to Maine and back just for the pleasures of the road.  I'm not sure if I will even keep my reservation on the car.  And, gee, should I call my boss and  see if it's possible to go ahead and work this weekend anyway?  I was holding some dandy anticipation in knowing that I would be away from the usual work scene this weekend.  I always must work on the weekends and so it is a rare treat to be able to leave that routine far behind.  I want to leave it behind.

It's the damn economics of the thing staring at me with a chill in the eye.  See, in Maine, I would have been paid for my two shows and the lodging was gratis.   Now there is only opportunity for money to be flowing out and zero flowing in.  Today that makes me nervous.

In addition, beneath all this consternation is a body of water that is filled with anger.  I don't enjoy when plans are ripped to shreds at the last minute.  Now an entire new set of decisions must be made that were not even on the plate before.  Decisions I do not care to take part in; to be involved with in any way shape or form.  But I am stuck with this new situation and I hate it.

Perhaps it is possible to assuage most of this  anger if there were some deus ex machina flying into my life with a new plan and a fist full of cash.   Ah, here it comes now, I am saved!  Yeah, right.

Well, since I started with this post a decision has been made; not one I am  at all very interested in but one with which I am supposing I can live with.  I'm going to work this weekend.  My boss was happy that he didn't have to fill in for me.  He's got to come up with a few more possibilities besides himself.  There are others in the company who could cover for me.  Whatever.  My time off now nothing but a wisp of smoke.   And the dissappointment will also fade but the lines on the highway are gonna miss me and those tires I would have been sitting on will now sing their sweet song to some one else.  Maybe June will be better.