AS BOYS GROW (1957): As I call it, 'Coach Explains it All' a trip back into time when HERE'S THE PENIS was just a way to say 'Hello!' and Tink wasn't even a cum stain on the bed sheets yet!

When I was growing up, way back when before… Read full post »

 "It is a sin to put your finger up your butt without the permitted use of wiping it with toilet paper!! So speaketh the Bible, Jobes 32-12!!!"

For some reason, Rick Santorum makes me want to write more gay fan-fiction involving Harry Potter and Superman!

I don't know why, maybe it's… Read full post »

When you think you have it bad, just remember, somewhere, out there, someone has it worse off than you.

Today, I went to the work center.

I have to do this every other Monday.

I had designed a spreadsheet for my case worker awhile back to help track his cases… Read full post »

I am so glad I'm not famous, well, at least not famous as in millions or hundreds if not tens of fans screaming my name or weeping when they hear of my death or proctology examine.

When a famous or once-famous person dies, it doesn't matter how they go, the… Read full post »

I was going through my stuff, previous life and all, on the advice of my psychologist, Doctor Sandy Foster, who said, "Before you can begin anew, you must kill off the sand creatures that live in my basement!"

Dr. Foster has some issues but she is very cheap.

Actually, she's free.… Read full post »

To you know who...

Every time I think of you, I always catch my breath...

It true! Boo hoo!

I am sitting here, miles away from you, thinking of you, driving me wild, so I decided to write this, my love letter to you, ASASASSDDSFSDFSD!!!

Live broadcasts, from the seas… Read full post »

Today, I decided to empty my trash folder in one of my emails.

It had like 80 pieces of stuff in it.

One was titled, HEY DOZ U REMEMBERZ MEZ?

I noze do but I decided to open it anyways.

It was a long, rambling piece with no breaks anywhere.   By… Read full post »

The sign read, by way of the Inter-Translator 3000 Version 3.0, ‘Love is hate or Jesus hates, fuck the save…’

The people, who take up and wear the mask of the oppressors, and fires upon the people on orders of the oppressors, become the oppressors. And whoever is the oppresso… Read full post »

 
Hey wait a second, that ain't Tony Danza's butt! What kind of circus show is this anyways?

There's all kinds of change.

Good change, like finding a buck in nickels under your sofa.

Bad change, like finding your Uncle Buck dead  under your sofa. (And he died in 1978!)

Death is… Read full post »

The year was 1989.

Kerry Lauerman, Previous Ed I Tor of Open.Salon and now Super God to the Salon , would not have his own TV show until many years later.

The current Ed I Tor, ala Emily Holleman (yeah, like that's her real name!), wasn't even hatched from the Cybercorporation's… Read full post »

And the photo read, "To Louise, thanks for everything, you love forever, A. Hitler, 7/12/1983" 

Grandmother woke up, around 1983, she said with a smile, “I think I a… Read full post »

Tink Note: The last few posts I've done have been some political posts and had lots of good comments, some from the Right Side of Duluth, and some  from the Left Side of Spokane, Washington. 

Discussion is good, but seriously, I believe this country is so divided, war could… Read full post »

The call went out --- TINK, THE PEOPLE ARE WAITING, WHAT DO YOU SAY? (Tink Notes: Since Open's new window has never worked with links, right click and open in new window/tab/whatever u like and you can stay where the answers will be told and read the questions!!! WOOO!!! I know, this… Read full post »

Tomorrow, according to news organizations and such, Indiana will pass its Right-to-Work bill.

Our governor, 'My Man Mitch', says this will pave the way for job creations.

I might feel more apt to believe that if there weren't so much "Black Ops" donations.

When Corporations donate to causes, most the… Read full post »

I'm not sure why but the AdSense ads for me right now are telling me I should subscribe to Golf Weekly magazine which, if I do, I will also receive a free game of golf.

Sadly, I only play golf on the computer where I kick the bejesus out of the… Read full post »

How come it is okay for the gubermint and the politicks to steal money from us and call it taxes but when I do it, they call it a crime and throw my ass in jail?

Seriously, go over to your neighbor’s and knock on the door around a certain day,… Read full post »

The other day, okay, it was today, I was deeply depressed. 

I had woken up from an awesome dream.  In it, my grandmother who has been dead since 1981 bought me a Nintendo for Christmas. 

And I set up and was playing against Jesus for the title of 'Most… Read full post »

America, U.S.of Fucking A, you  should be ashamed.

According to a top ten list of spammers as put out by a Spam Busting company, United States of America doesn't even top out in Top Fifty.

The only spammer/Online Marketing Campaigner in the list that is U.S. bred, born and raised is… Read full post »

You just got home, hard night inseminating bulls. 

You barely get through the door, pigeons have broken into your apartment and stole your last wine cooler.

You haven't even had a chance to get out of your pantyhose (nothing says professional bull insemi… Read full post »

HOW I CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN AND CAME BACK DOWN A FAIRY PRINCESS

In the summer of 1987, I dedicated my life to a beautiful woman I shall call Steve but her real name was Amy Porter Winestein.

She was my everything and then some, I went up a mountain with… Read full post »

HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL ACCORDING TO SOME POLITICIAN RUNNING FOR THE REPUBLICAN CHOICE TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT IN 2012 

1. Get a job

2. Graduate high school

3. Get married, if you're a man. Wait till you're married to have children, if you're a woman.

These three, paraphrased a bit, wer… Read full post »

Note from the author, a deviant soul who seems to like cherry tomatoes:

Many years ago, when I was a student, I had a teacher, a Mr. Hayes, though no one knew if his real first name was Rutherford, but his driver's license said Randall.

Mr. Hayes, when a student was being… Read full post »

The wife and I decided to stop in the old Vid-E-Store.  

We wandered the stacks and shelves, and as I passed by the new releases, I noticed a Straight-to-DVD.

The Scorpion King 3.

I didn't rent it but on the front cover, there was the man, the legend, an actor's actor,… Read full post »

Hello and welcome to another issue of Tinky's Love Train, starring your favorite MD in training and Master of the Wee Wee on a cold dark Saturday night,

Dr. Andrew Scwazzensize

  "I'm not a real doctor but I've played one with my sister!"

Today, I received the following lov… Read full post »

An introduction

By

Dr. Andrew Poltz 

We shall begin this road trip stylish: new tie, dress shirt pressed, and enough cocaine to blow a hundred minds into the ultimate fuck EVER known to human kind.

WAKE UP! IT'S TIME TO GO TO SLEEP!

No dream, no reality, just a tuna… Read full post »