NUMMY! NUMMY! NUMMY! ICE CREAM NUMMY! PURRRR! EVERY DAY SHOULD BE ICE CREAM SOCIAL DAY!!!! PURR! NUM! NUM! PURRRRRR!
You ever been so burned out on life, sex, drugs, rock and roll and everything that you just want to come in, heavy metal suicide playing hard in your Walkman(MP3 player for you hip techno cats out there!!!!), your rocket launcher just blowing your work place up in glorious 3-D goodness as VPs of Diddly Squat explode in something known as Superesq(no, it's not a word!) Bloody-DVision(Patent Pending)?
Yeah, me neither. (Good thing for violent video games though, can release some of that violence tendencies on the screen rather than Real-Life where there's no reset button or ReSpawn!! Cheat codes are your friend, God mode + unlimited ammo = Die alien scum!!!)
Work sucks but I can't write about that because well, my HR department has said saying bad things about my work in my blog is grounds to having my testicles removed. Haha! Fooled them, my testicles were removed years ago by the spousal unit, she took them when I said, "I do!" Haha! FOOLS!
I don't write a lot about my work in my blogs, especially this one, I don't want to depress my readers, so I don't write about the bad things at work, except for maybe a letter to my benefits department about their database fuck up, but that was just good clean American bitching.
Tonight I'm just stumped as to what to write. I was going to write a movie review for a couple of bad pornos from 2006 I watched a few weekends ago. Actually, I had a really good review written up in the old Open Editor thingie a bob that night but, well, somehow, not sure how, I ended up doing some key stroke combination(Ctrl-Alt-Erase my entire article as I hit the next letter in the sentence I'm writing) and whoosh, the 59 page award winner for sure was gone, completely and utterly gone. I cried. Real tears.
I took Ed I Tor's name and added some curse words on the end of it. Okay, not really, but I said something like F8CK, PLACK, AUSTRALLIAN WHALE HUMPER!!! And then I tried to rewrite it but then I pushed SAVE DRAFT and walked away.
The original title with two words are still waiting for me to come back and finish it, but I can't, I'm stumped. Are you guys ready for a movie review of a fine picture named 'Latex' and 'MILF 2'?
Soon, I believe, soon!
I guess I could write something about my multiple personalities but right now, with all the confessions of MPs going on, it just wouldn't be right. I'd just get lost in the whole Drew-Silla is really Brad Pitt and JK Brady is really some spanish pool boy from New York City.
Besides, LuisG and nana are already confused enough with Trig's confession that he's really a she-demon from the fifty second ring of Hell without me telling folks my real name is Cindee and I'm a protoctoligst from New Jersey. It would just make the whole world of OS go, "Jesus Christ, is anybody really who they say they are?"
And of course the answer is, 'No, no they're not!'
I think one time I had hundreds of alter-egos online in some form or another. The Internet is like one big moving picture show, if you let it. You can be that hot young latino playboy who, when he's not jetting across the world, he's fighting crime with his sidekick Orangejello!!
OR you can be that hot and sexy lady with the big brown eyes that all the boys desire but she only has eyes for the Pope!
Yes, my friends, you can even come on here, tell everyone you're a 6'2, 247 pound information technology worker who during his off days writes love poetry to some general up in Canada who turned out to really be an auto mechanic named Butch from Dallas Texas but it didn't matter, that computer operator was still in love, even if it was Butch, at least he could fix a 83 Buick! And really, in the end, isn't that what matters?
Of course now, if you use your alter-egos to steal money, chickens, sexy good time from people, then it's wrong to play virtual dress up. But it is okay if said people sign release forms stating that they like playing 'I've been cheated by Tink!'.
I'm just saying.
Okay, okay, I hear you out there going, "Yeah! Tink is still telling us fibs!! That's not his real pic in his profile! I bet he's really a dog!" And well, you've discovered my horrible, horrible secret. I'm not really a computer technician for the mob. I stole someone's identity and used it to have sexy good times with many!!
TRUE CONFESSIONS OF A ONLINE DECIEVER
Hello, my real name is Angela Smithe, the 'E' is silent. This is my real picture. I didn't want people just reading me for my boobs but for my crazy writings and mad skills at creating zany tags that have no use really other than amusing people.
My real career is I am an adult webcam star who just wanted to be loved for my brain rather than my vagina!
I created the profile of TinkererTink69 and discovered people responded well, some I became really close to, family like. Some I even had online love affairs with. You know who you are(HI ED!!!)
I held in the secret for as long as I could but it was starting to eat at me, this horrible horrible lie. The fat and kind of cute if you took your glasses off computer operator you fell in love with, was really some online adult star.
I just couldn't go on anymore. I had to tell my story to someone and I told Ed I. Tor the real story, over the phone, so he could hear my real voice(I paid some actor I knew to record the voices heard on nana's post awhile back!).
Ed was quiet, then, with not even a break in his voice, he told me, "You need to come clean to your fans!" and hung up.
We never spoke again after that phone conversation.
So tonight, at the end of a nice post about kittens and Tinkerertink69 blowing up his work, I decided to 'come out of the closet' so to speak and confess!
Good night and have a better tomorrow.....