Oh, true love, discovered sweetly in my private message inbox on Open. You would think, if it was Spam, it would be in the spam folder, so it must be true, and those messages I get from the rest of you, are true spam, because they're in the spam folder, no matter if I hit THIS IS NOT SPAM, it is Open's way of telling me, YOUR FRIENDS, THEY'RE EVIL!!!!
I usually don't really respond to these things, but today, I decided to actually send my email to Ms. Glads. She seem real. I need real in my life right now, not that Eharmony promise of free weekend communications will find my true love, my life mate.
My wife says, if she can't find hers, she'll rip off my johnson if I find my this weekend.
So I took fingers to keyboard and wrote Glads an email, hoping she will send photos as I could use some new wank material.
FROM THE DESK OF ED FARTES. THE E IS SILENT. WRITER OF GOOD OLE FASHION KISSY KISSY EROTICA.
Trust me, I understand.
First a little about me, my name is Ed Fartes, the E is silent. I'm a noted and popular writer of adult erotica fiction in the world renown magazine of Wankers International, a world wide publication.
I'm also a good kisser. My sister tells me I are the best kisser she done had the pleasure to kissy kissy. Do you like to kiss too? Maybe I could hook you up with my sister. She's a good kisser.
I have included my picture, which I hope you will enjoy. I was going to also send you a picture of my dog, his name is Randy, I will attach it as well, he likes to stick his tongue out at random people who come by our house.
I live in Crawfish Kentucky, a beautiful place, if you like stink holes. Do you like stinkholes? I sure don't, but heck, it's my home town, ya gotta love your hometown. I loves my hometown, it smells like hogs' butts! Do you like the smell of hogs' butts?
If you send me a picture of yourself, can you hold a sign that says HI! I LOVE HOGS BUTTS? I've been burned by a lot of fast talking scammers on here in my search for true love and such.
You'd be shocked to find out how many "My dearest one" messages I get that turn out to be some cocksucking dill hole from Nigeria trying to steal my money. I don't think you're a cocksucking dill hole from Nigeria trying to steal my money. I bet you're sexy, like my sister.
I am waiting with baited breath in your response, please do not delay in your response or your pictures.
Your dearest one,
Ed aka The one who will make you go oooooh baby before the second kissy kissy.
My name is Glads. i am a female I was impressed when i saw your profile today at open.salon.com and will like to establish a long lasting relationship with you. In addition,i will like you to reply me through my e mail box (glads_babyk@yahoo.com).This is because i don't know the possibilities of remaining in forum for a long time. please If you are interested in knowing more about me please contact me directly to my email adderss box so i will send you some of my pictures imediately,
Thanks waiting to hear from you .
Glads.
Here's a picture of my dog I sent her. He only sticks out his tongue to those he wants to french kiss!! Ooohlaaaalaaaaaa!!!
I also sent her the picture at the beginning of this letter, it captures my true beauty and that beauty is in my smile.
I hope she's not one of them cocksucking dill hole Nigerians trying to steal my money. I so need a date for the summer social and she sounds just fine!!!
I know what you're thinking but no, I can't take my sister, she has to work at the strip club that night.
Good night and have a better tomorrow......
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Comments
rated
Luis, I know, life is like a big box of poop, you know what you're getting, just not how much!! ;D
-R-
Dave, I try to get the best results!! ;) Of course, she probably won't respond!! :( ~grin~
;) I'll post em whenver I get em!! :D
LC, Dr. Pepper!! ;)
Now that made my morning.
rated with hugs and doggie slurp
Linda, YEA!! FOR DOGGY SLURPS!! :D
Rated from every angle.
promiscuous.
Julie, :( I'm sad though, Glads has yet to respond!! :D
Sixty, yeah, what a slut!!! :( ~L~
You might have a chance with my sister as Glad is really hot, I think this could be the one my friend!!! :D
So should we start calling you "D" now?
Amy, yep, I'm D Fart!! ;D
alkfei, you need to learn how to draw Hello Kitty better. Come back when you graduate from art school!!! ~smooch~