As some of you may know, I may have found true love right here on Open(read the first letter here ----> TINK FINDS TRUE LOVE AND GRIF CAN'T HAVE ANY.....A KISSY KISSY STORY) Well, grif can probably have some of this, if he wants to, I have a feeling Glads is kind of an easy lady, probably sent some messages out to the ladies on here too and in my searches online, she has been hitting a lot of sites, but I still feel that this is the one, she's the only one to actually have replied to Ed and even sent a picture.
Man, instead of hitting those Russian dating sites, those guys featured on 60 Minutes should hit up some of those refugee camps!!! Hot caramel indeed!
I'm not sure, but somehow Glads has discovered my favorite flower is the rose. I know, how could she have known? Unless, she has viewed my web cam and then, it is true love!!!
Date: Sat, 29 May 2010 02:14:14 -0700
From: glads_babyk@yahoo.com
Subject: I WILL LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU..
To: hochi69@hotmail.com
(Note from Tink---I know, that hat is sexeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! Here she is, the next Mrs. Ed Fartes!!!!)
My dearest,
I am more than happy to read your mail today,
How was your day? Mine is a little bit hot over here in Dakar Senegal.
My name is glads keita I 'm 23, from Ivory Coast West Africa 5.11ft tall, Fair in complexion,(never married before )and presently i am residing in the refugee camp here in Dakar as a result of the civil war that was fought in my country.
My late father Dr Sulivan Keita was the managing director of Keita Associates (Ltd) and he was the personal adviser to the former head of state before the rebels attacked our house one early morning and killed my mother and my father in cold blood.
It was only me that is alive now and I managed to make my way to a near by country Senegal where i am Iiving now in a refugee camp,and this computer is belonging to a revrend that has a church here in the camp. I would like to know more about you.Your likes and dislikes,your hobbies and what you are doing presently.
I will tell you more about myself in my next mail. Attached here is my picture. I will like to see yours, Hoping to hear from you soon.
Glads Keita.
(Tink's notes: Here is the pic of Ed, sent again---he sure does look happy!!!!)
Hello my dearest flapjack rolled in corn gravy, but I will call you snooky butt, if you don't mind,
I was beyond over joyed in hearing from you, I ran outside naked woopin' and hollerin'. I could not believe my eyes when I seen your picture. You are so beautiful, that I wanted to fly to Dakar Senegal right then and there and take you away from all that heat and such and do kissy kissy with ya all the way back.
My brother James told me I should wait and see how things go on before I get all wound up and lose myself but he says youse has a pretty mouth! And I was like, she sure does!! Pretty hat too!!
I was sorry to hear about your ma and pa getting wiped out, so tragic. My own father who was a bull inseminator died tragically too. He was trying to inseminate a bull and if'n that beast didn't kick him right in the head and he done did die, horrible in deed, I know, to lose a parent like that. I found my pappy a lyin' there on the cold ground, his blood gushing from his wounds. I held him tightly in my arms and in his last dying breath he said, "Rosebud!" and then went and died and left me, my brother, and my sister an orphan!!
Mama was so sad too when papa died that she told us she was goin' to Las Vegas, Nevada to mourn like how rightly my family does in time of grief. A good slot and a 99 cent buffet seems to help the pain some.
Mama has told us kids that whichever one of us makes her a granny first, gets the family estate in BumbleTuck Alabama, 40 acres of prime swamp land!!! I am hopin' to finds me a good woman to be the mama of my babies, I can just imagine it, me, my wife, my seven or eight kids, maybe ten if'n we's be in for it, and all that swamp land. Sounds nice doesn't it?
You tell that nice reverend fellow there that I thank God he lets you use his computer, so I can read my dear snooky pancake butt's words and little roses and such. How did you know my favorite flower was the rose?
I also like to write erotic novels involving alien abductions and midgets wearing stockings and/or crotchless pantyhose. It's a wide open field and my editor, Tim Gidget, of Midget Abductions Weekly, says I sure can write a pretty prose ifn when I want to.
I'm also in a death metal grunge band called Fluffy Wuffy Kitty Fuck where we play for anyone who wants to listen to us. My mom knitted our outfits for our first performance at the White House for the president of these here United States of America.
We weren't really invited to play but we did, right outside the gates of the White House,we played until the President sent out the Secret Service to chase us away. It was our proudest moment.
Please find attached again, my picture. You musta been so hot, you didn't see it in my last email, but here it is again, I had it taken right after I seen your picture, it's my prettiest smile.
Since you're asking, I dislike the French. They so damn cocky, with their fries and toast. Otherwise, I'm pretty easy.
Write back soon,
Ed
I didn't add any of the smilies she did, but you will note, she likes to kissy kissy too!! Whooooo!!!
Good night and have a better tomorrow, I will keep you up to date on Ed's love story as it happens!! :D
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Comments
Fluffy Wuffy Kitty Fuck - copyright it stat!
Linnnn, done did!! ;D
scanner, I know right? I've already bought the airline tickets!! :D
Dearest "D" (you did say the "E" was silent),
Wait one damn minute! Are you in the REAL band called Fluffy Wuffy Kitty Fuck or are you in that Fluffy Wuffy Kitty Fuck knock-off band that keeps spamming me? I keep getting all of these spam emails from this putz in Indiana??? (calls himself Tink the Love Monster) who says that he and his "band" just needs a few bucks to cover expenses and then he will come perform for me and my posse here at the camp. I think he's a big fake though. What kind of a grunge band would be willing to pay me $100,000,000 if I lend them a couple thou first? Doesn't make sense. Maybe he's one of them homos or sumthing. The Reverend told me how disgusting they are. He says that the only thing worse than a homo would to be an unemployed IT worker in Indiana. I thought that was pretty funny... like ANYBODY could sink that low! Ha! No wonder he wants to come visit the camp. He'd see how the luckier people live.
Your Hoochie Mama,
Glads
What keeps me reading one of your posts? The laugh-out-loud funny shit that you write.
Glads seems like a lovely young woman and I wish you two kids nothing but the best. Rated!
you are much better off in Dakar Senegal!
Rated with hugs and a giggle
Amy, see, we borrow the thou, and then we go and play big time shows, make big $$$ and pay you back, 10,000,000 times!! Best deal ever!! ;D
bobbot, I'll be there to defend my lady's honor or something!! Yea!! Grrrrrr!! ;D
Roger, ahhh, thanks!!!! Yeah, my titles are pretty special!! :D I've been learning how to do analyze Google key word trends and I'm telling you, midgets are going to be big!! ~:D
trig, shhhhhh!! :D
Lisa, I know, right? SWOON! :D
Linda, awww, shucks, Glads get some of the credit!! ;D
Kenny, I'm waiting for her to tell me about her need for an operation or something.....:D
vowels, hey, you should, I did today and well, lets just say, the police were called!! :D
In spite of your great looks, as evidenced by that handsome photo, be very afraid of pretty women on the Internet. That vixen will make you cry, I tell ya. She thinks you have money so you can pay her way out of Dakar and into your bed, where she will promptly fill your boxed-wine glass with turkey basters full of anti-freeze!
You are one funny little kitty. I laughed so hard I forgot I have arthritis and slapped my knee! Ouch!
You've inspired me to write a post about the Ghetto Fabulous Post I sent one of those Nigerians Princes who wanted to share his wealth with me if I'd just let him steal my identity, my bank account, and my crotchless pantyhose. Hey, I stopped wearing pantyhose when two years ago. They irritate my varicose veins.
Better be careful dueling with Bobbot. I hear he can wield a machete!
And since when is SBA your hoochie mama? I applied for that job! Guess I didn't get it. A begruding congrad to SBA - I would call her a stank ho, but not everybody has as good a sense of humor as you do. So, I'll just call you one for choosing a safe bet over a DIVA!
(sigh)
Rated despite making me injure my knee, your cruel rejection, and not being able to call people names in jest around here!
L, but, but, it's true love!! I just know it!! Teeheehee!! ;D
Diva, hey now, I gots to have lots of hoochi mamas!! ;)
Luis, damn, maybe I'll be the opposite, I'm out of work, so maybe she give me money(1.7 kabillion dollars!!!) and I'll live happily ever after!!! ;) Don't worry, I'll remember ya and give ya lots of $$$ to hand out to all them Calis!! :D