The night was warm, like a good apple pie just out of the oven. I was sitting on the front porch, drinking some over sweet tea, like granny made, just before she fell dead to Krokus or some other fatal disease.
The mail man, his name being Fred, came up to me with another letter from one of my Afriken lovers. I was thrilled, beyond thrilled, almost elated with excitement. I was happy that Esther Baby had come into my life as Glads could only access the computer on Mondays and Fridays.
Esther seemed to be able to get online whenever the good lord intended.
She sent me a picture. Lovely indeed, though she thought herself not photogenic. What? Ed would kissy kissy her face all night long till the hogs came home.
Oh Esther, you twanged my heart with your picture and your words of loveliness. And just a peek of your pink bra!!! Ohhhhlaaaalaaaaa!!!
I wrote you a poem, but I didn't attach it to the email I sent, maybe tomorrow ----
A LOVE POEM TO MY ESTHER
Oh Esther, my Esther, my love for youse will never die,
It'll go on like the wind, and part the seas in a never ending breeze!
My love for you,
Will never Fester! Like it did to that Lester!
And his penis fell off!! Wooooowoooooooo!
Cause I love you like the hound dog,
Loves his poo!!!
Or his doo.
Or whatever rhymes with you!
Compliment of the day, to you,
I hope that means in your country,
That we will be **censored** all night long!!!!
Wooooo! Wooooo!! So True!!!
My Esther, My Esther,
I'd like to take you away and make ya,
Till the break of day....
(Compliment of the day)
I am more than happy in your reply to my mail. How are you ? I hope fine. My name is Miss Esther I am 23 years old, I hold a certificate in general Nursing.
I am hoping to further my education in this career. I am not married and don't have children. I am chocolate in complexion and of average heigth, my picture will explain to you better.I would like to know more about you.Your likes and dislikes. Your hobbies and what you are doing presently.
I will tell you more about myself in my next mail. Attach here is my picture for you, though I am not all that photogenic, i hope you wouldn't mind. I will like to see you own picture too.
I wait to hear from you soonest
Your Darling Esther
From the desk of Ed Fartes ---- Ain't he a cutie?
Dearest back in turn, (Compliment of the Day) which must be your way of saying, Howdy!! HELLO!!!!
Damn Miss Esther, you're a hot lookin' lady, stop selling yourself so short, you're more than photogenic, you should be a model. Never been married? No kids? What the hell? Are the men around you gay or something?
I attached a picture in my last email, but I'll do it again, so you can see what a stud muffin I am.
I likes to kissy kissy all night long and dancing, do you like to dance? I love to do the Forbidden Dance, the Disco Chicken, till I get all hot and bothered and just pee myself. I don't like that part too much, doctors say I have a "Bladder Control" problem that can only be fixed by getting castrated. I don't think I'm ready for that just yet as I want to fulfill my pappy's dream for me by having at least twenty three kids all named Randall, after my great granddaddy who was a hero or something. Killed like 37,000 Canadian Americans in the great war of 1983. You may have read about it, it was in all the newspapers.
Do you get newspapers where you live?
I tried furthering my education but the 7th grade teacher said, I had to pass the 6th grade first, so maybe next year, you can talk to a 7th grader.
I am 47 years old and live with my mama, well, or she lives with me, as daddy willed me the house and 47 acres of prime swamp land in Crawfish Kentucky. I hope someday you'll be part of the family, mama says you look like you got good birthin' hips, though she thinks there must be something wrong with you, a girl as hot as you never been married, and as yet doesn't have a dozen or more kids.
I told her, some parts of the world, womens like to wait awhile before reproducing.
Anyways, write more when youse get a chance, I love reading your wonderful emails and lookin' at your pretty picture.
Yours till my peepee falls off,