I know, I know, you're tired and want to go to bed, but you can't, you just know at any minute, either Esther or Glads will write Tink and he'll have another episode of WHA? which is being looked at by Fox networks(at the very least someone from there showed up at my blog!! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!! MAKE ME A STAR!!!)

So today, Esther decided to write me back. She must have better access to a computer than Glads, which I'm happy. I'd have nothing to write about then, except about my drunken adventure last night, it involved singing 'I GOT FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES....' all the while drinking rum and cokes and thinking, "Damn this room spins a lot!!! Is that woman really preggo? God, that guy sure can't sing!! Wait, that's me!! Fuck!"

Maybe tomorrow, I'll write about that but today, you get another installment of love, sex, and almost an addition of Sarah Ferguson into the picture. I was going to have her being the contact in London. Teeheehee!! But instead, I went with a picture of Glads who is now Ethel.

A strange case indeed, I know!!! Esther sent me another picture of "herself" and I have to agree with L, she does look like she's about 12.  Also, in the reflection of the window, I think that's Torman sitting there, probably signing copies of his books. That man is world renown!!!

So without ado, let us get into the program.....

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Date: Thu, 3 Jun 2010 02:25:10 -0700
From: esther_baby2009@yahoo.com
Subject: WITH LOVE FROM ESTHER
To: hochi69@hotmail.com

My Dearest,
 How is your health which is the most important thing to me? My dearest i am happy to receive your mail  which gives me courage and joy.Mine i am fine too ,i love your picture so much you look very handsome,Darling i am looking for a man whom i will call mineand io know that God has brough us together to love and care for each other ,please dont reak my heart ok ,i am from Senegal ,i am the second daughter of my parents my mother is Late but my father is alive but very old ,we are three in number two girls and one boy ,my elder sister is married with two kids a boy and a girl ,my brother is still schooling in the University ,i am doing nursing ,Darling age does not matter to me all i need now is real love and i know that with you i will be happy ,I like honest and understanding person,truthful and a man of vision,truth and hard working.Have a nice day and think about me.Awaiting to hear from you soonest You can contact me directly with this number for me to  hear your voice (00221777975941) ok

 

Yours In Love Esther

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My dearest Esther, I was just thinking about you, as I laid there in my bed, just for a few minutes, wishin' youse was here lying next to me, so we could kissy kissy before I had to go out to the fields to start plowing. This year we're plantin' sugar beets and mushrooms so mama can make some of her sugar beet mushroom pies!! You haven't eaten food till you had mama's sugar beet mushroom pies!!!!
 
My health is preddy good except the whole bladder control problem and well, I have this thing where my left knee is where my right knee should be, doctors call it Displacement of the Central Ecalaca!!! Also, I can't hear or see too well, since my own accident with inseminating a bull. Man, them bulls sure don't like being inseminated!
 
I tried calling that number you gave me but either my fingers misdialed or my phone don't like all them digits, I ended up calling what I think was a bank, I said, "Howdy, my name is Ed and is Esther there?"  And they were like, "We's don't know no Esther!"  I said, "She said this was her number and to call her! We's fallin' in loves!" and the guy was like, "Ahh that is sweet.  I know an Ethel, but no Esther!"  I tried again and if'n I didn't reach the same guy, he was like, "Would you like to talk to Ethel?" So I's did and if'n Ethel sound preddy. We talked for hours, she said her daddy was killed by rebels in Nigeria someplace and he hads a whole lot of money sitting in some bank in London that she couldn't get to because she said she didn't have no way to travel to London and get the money.
 
That story just broke my heart Esther, she was so sincere. She said there was like 20 million dollars US just a sitting there waiting to be claimed and if'n it wasn't, it be gobbled up by the government!!! I was so heart broken and such, I said, "I knows I only have talked to you for like 2 hours but I feel like I known you forever!! What can I do to help?"
 
She was first like all "No, no, no, I'll figure something out...." but the more we talked, the more she broke down and said, "I could use your help!"  She told me that she knew a guy in London named Hermen and he had some pull in the banking industry, he was like some big shot, and ifn I could buy her a ticket to London, we's could meet up there and get that money.  She said, I could just Western Union her the moneys, like a 1000 dollars, and she could buy the ticket cause that way, it wouldn't stir up the government on this side of the Atlantic and I wouldn't end up on a terrorist watch list.
 
So I just got done wiring her the money and bought my own ticket to London, England, where I will meet up with Hermen and Ethel Friday afternoon at a coffee shop Hermen likes to drink at, it's called a Pub or something. I know everything is going really quick, but I just couldn't let that poor woman suffer no more.  She told me about the refugee camp she's in, and the only access to the outside world she has is this reverend Tim or Jim Jones or something like. He's right nice, she says, but she wants to live the life of a princess she once did when her father, King JuJuHanaHana was alive.  I don't right blame her.
 
Ethel said if this works out, I'll be taking a lot of dollars back to the states with me.  She told me she will wear a yellow rose in her hair so I will recognize her but also sent me a picture so I wills knows it really is her, which I have attached.  The next time youse hear from me I'll be a rich man who can afford to rightly court you and wins youse heart and possibly marry ya in the tradition we see fit.  I thinks youse a pretty. 
 
My sister she says you looks like you about 11 or 12, but I told her, in your country, womens don't age that fast, so when youse was like 80, you'd only look like youse was fifty.  I hopes you don't mind that I showed you pictures off to my family. Family means a whole lot to me, I want a big family, lots of children and whens we get olds and almost dead, lots of grand children and great grand children, to take the family name of Fartes into the future.
 
So until the next time we speak, I am forever yours kissy kissy in the eyes of our Lord, Hank Williams,
 
Ed

 (Tink note: Why yes, Ethel sure does look a lot like Glads!!!!!!!!!! I was going to use a picture of Sarah Ferguson here, but I thought nah, lets keep this operation legit, you know, Fergie has more than her fair share of problems without getting involved in an international bank fraud deal in London England!! :D)

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Man, this just gets more exciting!!!! All that money, and don't ask me how Ed gets his International flights so fast, it's a CIA secret.  Go ask old new lefty or Torman, they know!!!!

Also to the people and friends of Tink who live in London, I'm sorry for bringing such a crime to your shores, but well, I need the money and Ed saids I get half!! Woooo!!!

Good night and have a better tomorrow...