Dearest readers of the love story known as Esther and Glads meet Ed, I believe it has come to an end for that little love story, which saddens me greatly, as I was just about to tell them both, ED GOT THE MONEY!! 10 million dollars, in dirty, dirty money, and he needs to spend it fast!
Oh well, their loss.
I was just about ready to go take a little nap, when I noticed I had an email from the Lagos, Nigeria Western Union, I had replied to them yesterday about getting my $5000 somebody wired me and well, you can read the whole thing here.
I seem to have been put on the Nigerian List of Fellas who can easily get money out of banks in various world locations as my junk folder now has 30 similiar messages in it. Esther and Glads must have added me to their Favorite list on NigerianSuckers.com!!!
I'm so happy!
For some strange reason, they decided to attach this photo of the "Western Union" in Lagos, Nigeria as some sort of letter head*(1st email did not have this!!!!) But damn, if someone didn't do a fine job of photoshopping, oops, I mean, this is the Western Union in Lagos, Nigeria, it also seemingly is mobile as the address changes from one email to the next!! Awesome.
To: noreply@mail.org
Date: Fri, 4 Jun 2010 16:09:01 +0200
Subject: Confim MTCN : 622 155 4897
From: western.unionoutlet@live.com (Tink notes: Wait, live.com?? Why wouldn't this be coming from WesternUnion.com??? Oh, maybe in Nigeria, live is translated as Western Union!!!!! Teeheeheee!! Fun to learn about other cultures!!!)
Western Union® Money Transfer.
Address: Unit 1 Ikota Shopping complex
State:Lagos
Country: Nigeria
Mr.Mazar Rashard.
Good Afternoon! (Tink Notes: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!)
I write to inform you that we have already
sent you USD5000.00 dollars through(You did? That was nice of you!)Western union as we have been given the
mandate to transfer your full
compensation payment of USD1.800,000.00 via
western union by this government. (I'm not sure why the Nigerian government is wanting to pay me this much money, but I must have gotten really drunk one night and don't remember doing something to some Nigerian government official in Crawfish, Kentucky!!!)
I called to give you the information through
phone as internet hackers were many(Stupid Internet hackers!) but i
cannot reach you yesterday even this morning(I'm sorry, I was cruising porn!! Call me now!! Teeheehee!!).So,I decided to email you the MTCN and sender name so that can pick up this USD5000.00 to enable us send another USD5000.00 by tomorrow as you
knows we will be sending you only USD5000.00 per day.
Please pick up this information and run (Do I have to run? Can't I skip at a brisk pace?) to any western union in
your country to pick up the USD5000.00
and send us email back to send you
another payment tomorrow.
Contact Manager Below
Mr.Benny Andrew
Tell: +234-1-870-677-1
Email: western.unionoutlet@live.com
call or email me once you picked up this
USD5000.00 today.
Here is the western union information to
pick up the USD5000.00,
MTCN : 622 155 4897
Sender's Name: Mr.Jude Micheal
Question: Honest
Answer:Trust
Amount: $5000.00USD
I am waiting for your call once you pick up
USD5000.00, (Please wait, and hold your breath till I do!!! It may be awhile though, I need to take a shower, and those can take weeks!!!)
Thanks
Best Regards
Mr.Mazar Rashard.
western union Office,
Nigeria Branch.
Western Union® Money Transfer.
I decide to respond as such an email deserves.
From: hochi69@hotmail.com
To: western.unionoutlet@live.com
Subject: RE: Confim MTCN : 622 155 4897
Date: Fri, 4 Jun 2010 12:36:40 -0600
Dear Mr. Mazar Rashard,
I tried to go down to my Western Union to claim my $5000 but they looked at me and yelled, "Pervert!! Sucking Donkey Dick in this county is a crime!" and they pulled out a shotgun and was going to shoot me!!!!!!!!!
I ran away as fast as I could. Maybe you sent me the wrong information,
Your friend in Jesus,
Ed
You would think I would get some kind of explanation like, "Oh we're sorry, we sent you the wrong information but for $125 we can resend the correct information!"
Nope, Ole Western Union of Lagos, Nigeria tries to tell me they sent me this information 2 weeks ago and it is now expired. Stupid slow ass Hotmail!!
To: hochi69@hotmail.com
Subject: FROM WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER( ACT FAST ASAP)
Date: Sat, 5 Jun 2010 17:36:56 +0000
Welcome to Western Union Send Money Worldwide
Address: 1 Airport Road Off Western Avenue Lagos,
State:Lagos
Country: Nigeria.
The problem right now is because the transaction has stayed over two weeks on the system, it has been deactivated and as such it needs to be re-activated before you can be able to pick it up. Remember, it is $5,000.00 USD daily until the full compensation amount has been paid to you.Please understand that re-activating the transaction will cost you $125.00 USD.
I strongly advise you to send us the re-activation fee today, so that all process can be finalized today and you can then go and pick up the first $5,000.00 USD
You are to send the re-activation fee today with the below informations through Western Union Money Transfer.
Receiver Name :Mr.INYANG TOMPSON PETER.
City : Lagos
Answer: Yes
Amount:$125.00 USD
Email us the following informations for us to expediate action in re-activation the transaction asap.
Senders Name, Amount Sent and MTCN Number,Sender's Country
Please feel free to call me on Tell: +234-1-870-677-1
(CONTACT EVENTS MANAGER)
Best Regards
Mr.Mazar Rashard.
western union Office,
Nigeria Branch.
Western Union® Money Transfer.
Man, too bad I don't have a $125.00, I could start the life of Riley or something. But maybe I have an idea....
Dear Mr. Andrew,
Damn, I's don't have $125, so I guess I won't be getting none of that $5000. I haves an idea, you take the $125 out of the $5000, and resend as $4875. That way, we both gets our money and no one is the wiser. I knows you can do this as another Western Union transfer I gots did the same thing.
I tried to call that number you sent, but it lead me to some reverend fellow who wanted to direct me to some sick dying old lady who has 20 million dollars awaiting in a bank in London and all she needs is $4000 to complete the transaction fees so she can get the money, and she'll split it with me, 50/50, so as you can see, that'll be 10 million dollars I get, so I will give youse 5 million just for doing the simple subtraction of $125 fee from the $5000 youse wanted to send me.
For such a little initial fund, you could be a millionaire!!!
Please write back as soon as possible,
Your friend,
Ed
It's like, if Ed isn't lucky in love, maybe he can be lucky in money!! A true whore can dare to dream!
Damn neighbors, making me feel bad about my lapse in doing the yard work. Pfffffffft.
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Comments
I know more than a few gay guys that would pay big money to be listed on that site!
BTW, one word on the yard work: SHEEP! They take care of the grass in no time.
(what you do with them when they're done is your own business! ;-) )
Sheep are great for yard work and other non disclosable activities!! :D
I feel so broke after reading this :(
Matt, yeah, I'm sorry, maybe next one you can hack me out for $7.50!! ;)
I would have given Ed the $125. Except I went to the El Pussy Cato last night and, well, someone tried to make it rain and I had to buy an umbrella.
By the way, goats are good for yard work too.
L, yeah, so far, the Nigerians are my best chance to get my ship to come in, and not hit something and spill billions of oil into the Sea of Something!! ;D We just need to stay positive!! ;D
where are the hot girlie photos we've come to know and love, anyway?
old new lefty, no way, that's worth like $200 in lap dances!!!!!! ;)
Sparking, ahhhh!! You're welcome!! Remember, tip your waiter!! ;)
FuSunA, ~shaking head~ No way, at least not on the first date!! ;)
diana, they're in the works, I have a whole bunch of naughty photos to post!! Ed I Tor already told me, "U post em, we'll pick em!!" I know, awesome, right? ;)
nola, yeah, maybe next week, until then, keep making sure those kids read or at the very least pretend to!! ;)
As the saying goes, "U snooze; U lose"
BTW, that old bag in London is a scam. R
-R-
The Dating, Buy Cars online, etc. you name and they have probably used it to get money from Americans.
The Scam business, is the second largest business in Nigeria. On the dating scam, they will talk to someone, get as much info on you, get a person to send them money and photos. Then they turn around and use the photo and the information to play on the next victim in line.
It is serious and there isn't any fun and games that they are playing. They have actually taken people of thousands of dollars, computers, cameras, you name it they have gotten it from someone. Like I said it is a huge and very serious business over there and they are not out to play game. It is really hard to catch them, because there are so many people involved, the Nigerian law is actually helping them, for exchange of money.
Say you are talking to the person that emailed you, you are actually talking to probably 5 to 10 people. And you thought it was only one person. They take turns, like shift work.
Okay!! Enough of the seriousness. I needed that great moment of laughter while reading Tink.
sixtycandles, I think so too!! Best plan ever. ~nodding~ PLAY THAT BEAT FOR ME, MR. DJ!!! woooo! old skool!! :D
Trudge, damn it, if I only had a $125. All my ladies in London are scams, but I's loves them anyways!! WOOOOO!! ;D
LadyMiko, because you do, makes people thirsty reading such an exciting adventure!! ;D
fireeyes, that's right, and that's why more people need to respond to their emails as such, keeps them busy playing with fakes like me which keeps them away from real targets!! ~nodding~ Scam Baiting is a hobby but some folks carry it out much farther than I do, get the scammers to send them like works of art "they" created, make them spend shipping charges and such and then are like, "This is no good..." ~LOL~ I just make them shake their head!! ;D
Russian date scammers are fun to play with too!! "My name is Tosha, I want to suck you dry..." WOOOOO!! :D
Natasha, again, I told you, the check is in the mail, keep waiting by the mail box!!! :(
http://www.internationaljock.com/ergowear-x3d-microfiber-boxer-white,3473.html
foolish monkey, not sure yet, haven't checked my email today, hopefully they'll go for the deal!! I sure could use some money!!! :D
poorsinner!!!! They aliens released you finally!!! AWESOME!! ;) Yeah, I shouldn't be so something, I should trust these guys, send them all my money and then some!! ;)