Many years ago, I had a dream.

That dream?

A woman was elected to governor of the great state of Alaska, then she went onto the White House and did something, probably started a war with North Dakota, cause, she forgot it was a state and not a country.

But we forgave her!

Why?

I'm not sure, maybe she gave the best blow jobs ever. 

We'll have to ask John McCain for that answer.

Sarah was born, according to Wikipedia, on February 11th, 1964. 

Seven years later, and a couple of months past, on a warm July 16th night in Spokane Washington, a man known as 'Elie Savador Manwell Jr.' was born.

You know him as Tinkerertink69 but you can call him Bob.

The FBI does. 

Among other names.

Mostly which can't be posted on a family blog such as this.

Sarah grew up and became to the world as that pyscho chick on the Discovery Channel.

Foxnews will interview her next Monday night.

Imagine that.

And she's an author.

Tink would never grow up(cause if he did, he couldn't be a Toys-R-Us kid!! Giggle!) and soon would be writing long winded blogs about life, gin and the pursuit of the best blowjob ever.

Sarah Palin can say, "I have 2.8 kabillion Facebook fans!" but really, is that something to be proud of?

Really?

The guys from Jackass have 3.7 kabillion!

Eat that Sarah!!

Oops, I mean, let us continue.

The other day I sat at my computer and wondered, "Self...."

"Yes, me?"

"Where do fish go when they die? I mean, sheep go to Heaven....."

"And goats go to Hell!"

I nodded.  "But where do fish go?"

"Into my belly!!" I laughed. 

"But then where?"

"Into the toilet as a waste by product!"

"And then?"

"I guess to California where all stuff goes once you flush the toilet but not before it's processed into gold and diamonds!"

Afterwards, I wondered, if I knew Sarah Palin better, maybe I would want to join her cause.

"Her cause?"

"Yes self, her cause: converting Nazis to oil!!"

"What?"

I went to my source for information ala Google.com and typed in 'Sarah Palin' and I found that there was a LOT of stuff on this woman, who, if I wasn't gay and married, I could see falling in lust with.

She's on Facebook, Twitter, on porn sites too.

She's in pink tops, black ones, red ones too.  

She's holding a gun while in her bikini. 

And the mother lode, she has her own PAC.

I always thought PAC was a collegiate division for things like the foosball and women's greek wrestling.

Or a performing art center.

But in the term of Sarah, it's a political action committee.

According to Wikipedia once more(what would we do without em?), a PAC is "...the name commonly given to a private group, regardless of size, organized to elect political candidates or to advance the outcome of a political issue or legislation".

I already have my own religion and I've declared my candidacy for El Dictator for Life of the United States of America(which will be renamed to Ron as my first act of lunancy!) but I never thought of starting my own PAC(Pop and Candy) and it sounds like fun.

Like church camp without all the groping and stuff.

I went to Sarah's PAC most wonderfully named website called, Chickswithdicks.com.

Haha.

Just kidding, it's at http://www.sarahpac.com (Yes, that could be someone named Sarah Patterson's Air Conditioning, but it's not! Sorry Sarah, you had to get sarahpac.net! )

Sarah stands in front of a mountain scene straight out of Brokeback Mountain, if Brokeback had been set in wild Alaska and instead of two guys doing things to each other in a tent, there is some trees.

The sign reads, "Welcome to SarahPAC" and you feel at home with the poop brown background.

It's "Sarah Palin's Official PAC" and if you have any doubt, they say it right on the website.

This isn't your mom's official PAC, unless you're one of the kids of Sarah, then, your mom has her own PAC!!

Does your dad?

Of course not, he doesn't deserve one.

Did he suck off John McCain in 2008?

Well, maybe he did.

According to the website, they are "dedicated to building America's future, supporting fresh ideas and candidates who share our vision for reform and innovation"

I like to build America's future.

There'd be flying cars and teleporters, in case you didn't really want to see America and just wanted to get to Grandma's house really fast.

You live in New York.

She's in Seattle.

Push of a button and a zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt, you're there!

The future's going to be cool!(Or as the cool kids spell it, KEWL!!! )

I wonder what America's future is like in Sarah's mind?

I've noticed something in my travels studying the politicians of both sides, they all sound like a cult.

"Who share our vision....VISION....one life....ONE LIFE....one CAUSE!!! INNOVATION!!"

But then, if you spend enough time in a big corporation, you'll notice the same thing and just move on.

"SarahPAC believes America's best days are ahead."

TinkPAC believes America's best day was on August 12th 1019.  But hey, to each his own.

What happened on that day?

Who the hell knows!

"Our country, founded on conservative principles and the fight for freedom, must confront the challenges of the 21st century with integrity, innovation, and determination."

Our country was founded on drunkedness and beating the mule if the wife was giving birth.  I think tea might have been involved as well, dumping it into harbors so fish could have some.

TinkPAC believes we should go back to that wonderous day in August 12th, 1019 and begin anew.

"SarahPAC believes energy independence is a cornerstone of the economic security and progress that every American family wants and deserves."

TinkPAC believes prostitution and selling drugs is our cornerstone for all that other stuff SarahPAC says.

Or nuke the planet.

Free energy for all then!

"SarahPAC believes the Republican Party is at the threshold of an historic renaissance that will build a better future for all. Health care, education, and reform of government are among our key goals. Join us today!"

TinkPAC believes that unicorns and monkeys will fly out of Rush Limbaughs ass all with hundred dollar bills each for TinkPAC!! 

Health care, education, and reform of government, OH MY!!

Key goals?  Are we playing soccer now? 

Awesome.

Join us today, become, ONE OF US!! ONE OF US!! BRRRRRRAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSS!!!!

"Please note: There are many websites claiming to support Sarah Palin. SarahPAC.com is the ONLY political action committee authorized by Sarah Palin."

Yes, yes, many websites claim the same in support of Tinky Winky, and they should.

Tinky is the best. 

So loveable, so sweet, only says 'fuck' when it seems like the storyline is dragging and he wants to hear his "fan club" go, 'Did he....oh my gawd, he did!! I'M TELLING ED I TOR!!! NO! NO! DON'T PUT HIM ON THE COVER, BAN HIM!!! HELLO?'

Are there really 'many' websites claiming to be Sarah Palin's PAC(pickles  and cream)?

According to Google, there's a gal named Sarah-NOT THE REAL-Palin on Twitter.

But she doesn't really 'Support' her, mostly calls her that c word Tink only mentions when he's talking about his exes.

I was about ready to wander away from this PAC but then noticed, there was a FAQ!!

FAQ=Frequently Asked Questions, for those of you who don't know or think it means, 'Fat Aging Queens'  the best drag show this side of PAC(Pretty and Cocked!)

I figured they might answer the burning question, "What color are Sarah's panties?"

The answer: SHE DOESN'T WEAR ANY!!!!

What is SarahPAC?  (REALLY?! Didn't we just read about SarahPAC? Oh wait, I get it, Cliff Notes for Websites.  Awesome idea!!!)

"SarahPac is a federally registered political action committee that supports Gov. Sarah Palin's plans to build a better, stronger, and safer America in the 21st century."

Guess it's better than being a federally registered sex offender. 

Bigger, stronger, better, safer, BUTTER!!!!!! 

How will contributions be spent?

Killing Nazis!!!

Hahaha.

Just kidding.

"Your support of SarahPac will make it possible for Gov. Palin to continue to be a strong voice for energy independence and reform. By supporting SarahPac, you will allow Gov. Palin to help find and create solutions for America's most pressing problems; priority number one is building a strong and prosperous economy that recognizes hard work, innovation and integrity by rewarding small businesses and hard working American families. SarahPac will support local and national candidates who share Gov. Palin's ideas and goals for our country."

After that long winded reply, I would say, killing Nazis, is the better option!

Who is behind SarahPAC?

Her husband!! ROTFLMAO!

See? POLITICAL EROTICA ALA PORN!!!

No, come back, the real answer is below.

"Gov. Sarah Palin believes all Americans must work together for the future, regardless of their party affiliation. Gov. Palin is the honorary chair of SarahPac, and its supporters are Republicans, Democrats, Independents, and those unaffiliated with any political party."

See, everyone is behind SarahPAC!

What?

No, I won't say it.

Okay, I will.

GANGBANG!!

Why now?

Because she can, because she will, because, well, just because. 

I haven't even read the answer yet, I like to be surprised along with my readers(HI TIMMY!!!)

"As a new president takes office and begins to lead our country, Gov. Palin believes that every one of us has a duty and responsibility in this time of economic crisis and international challenge. Each one of us must step up to the plate, get involved in the spirit of renaissance and renewal that is critical to America's success. Make your voice heard by joining SarahPac today!"

Renaissance?

Hurray!

I got my poofy collared shirt and pointy shoes already out!!

Yeah, the 1970s were truely the era of wonderment!

I want my voice heard but I'm joining the Duluth PAC(performing art for art's sake, and not Ted's!! What?)

Good night and have a better tomorrow.