Tinkerertink69

Tinkerertink69
Location
Your closet, Indiana, France
Birthday
July 16
Title
President and CEO of Your Mom
Company
Your closet
Bio
Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you? Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!! What? Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog. Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!

Tinkerertink69's Links

Salon.com
FEBRUARY 8, 2011 4:11PM

I GOT AN INTERVIEW!! FOR A JOB!!

Rate: 73 Flag

Back long ago, before the economic downturn from Hell, a person would see a job opening, they might go and fill out an application, put in a resume, whatever and then, more than likely, get an interview with the chance of maybe getting a job in return.

Nowadays, it's like finding gold just getting the interview.   

It's like Christmas when you were a little kid, so much excitement, dancing around the room singing:

(TO THE TUNE OF I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH)

I GOT A JOB INTERVIEW!!
I GOT A JOB INTERVIEW!!

Heck, you're almost pass out happy when you get a rejection letter as it means they LOOKED at your application/resume/cry for a job most people call a "Cover Letter".

This Sunday morning, I hit APPLY for job. 

It was for a job as an IT Help Desk.

I wasn't expecting a reply as 99.9 percent of these attempts at jobs usually turn into 'WE LIKED YOUR RESUME, BUT WE DESPISE YOU, PLEASE SEND WHOMEVER WROTE YOUR RESUME FOR A JOB!!'

Stupid companies!!

But this time, in response to that APPLY, I received an email back in return on Monday afternoon(I didn't see it till today), "We wants to intervue ya for the position of Dog Specialist Level 9!! Are you availables for an intervue sometime this week?"

Okay, it was really for a PC Support position (it's been so long since I've broken some PCs, I hope I remember how!!), and I told them, YES, OH DEAR GOD, YES I'M AVAILABLE!

I didn't want to sound desperate.

I sounded more like a crack whore. 

Not TOO desperate, just enough to tell them,

"Yes, I would LOVE some crack!"

I'm telling you, it has been a LONG dry spell even in the interview area. 

I mean, it has been so long I believe I grew my cherry back and will now have to re-pop it.

I think I remember some of the rules of the Interview.

  • It's okay to pick your nose but unless asked, it's NOT okay to pick the interviewer's nose.
  • When asked about your shortcomings, it's okay to say, "I try too hard sometimes." and even "I cried when they put ole Yeller down" but never "I wet the bed...."
  • When asked 'What is your ideal scale of pay?' stating, "Millions and millions of dollars would be nice, but anything over 2 cents a stitched shirt is okay too!" is acceptable.

Heck, it's been so long, is 2 cents a stitched completed shirt too much?

I mean, back in my day, 2 cents was good pay.  I've heard from some of my friends in the field, that it's now PER DOZEN SHIRTS, which isn't very good but well, you gotta do, whatcha gotta do!

I have to get my hair cut, my nails done, my best 'HIRE ME' dress out of mothballs and cleaned, etc. etc.   

I'm so excited.

I GOT A JOB INTERVIEW!!!!!!!!

kittycat1 

 

 

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good luck! I have heard that positions are becoming available in Egypt.
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES


my fingers and toes are crossed for you. I know you're going to dazzle them. just don't pick their nose.

BIG HUG TINK

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU.
Woo-hoo! My advice is to print out a couple of your posts, take them to the interview and say, "If you don't hire me, I'll be forced to keep publishing stuff like this." That should work!
Congratulations Tink, but in what century was 2 cents good pay? Oh, and don't forget to put on some clothes when you go to the interview. Naked only works for wannabe Playmates.
Yay! Good for Tink! Now just don't do the kitty happy dance all over the interviewer's desk.
and a reminder: please go to the interview wearing something other than those MC Hammer harem pants, just this one time.
I going to put the ScanMan Lucky comment here my friend. I usually get paid the big bucks for this, but I feel your pain. We'll just set up a payment plan. Luck Be a Kitty Tonight~~
Good luck!!! Thinking really good thoughts at you!
Keep your emotions under control during the interview. Pack lots of tissue - there may be no rose bushes nearby when you want to run, crying with joy. I hope you'll be yelling:

I'm Hired! I'm Hired !!!!!
i was all ready to smack you, tink, for putting up a headline like that and then telling me "ha! i lied!" when i got here. but, nooooo, this time,when i least expect it, it's the real deal. get *after* that job, dude. oh, and don't even touch the interviewer's nose, not even for a nanosecond.
Try not to smoke during the interview and make sure your shoes are shined.
Yahooooooooo! I am so happy for you, Tink!!!!!! xox
LOL
Man that was fast... Did you crank this out while I was uploading pictures??:)
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AND CONGRATS..
rated with hugs
WHOO HOO!!!! Go Tink!
Congrats, cat. About time, I'd say. Good luck - purr a lot and rub on their ankles.
If anyone can pull off an interview for dog-catcher in a dress Tink, it's you!
Sort of what Cranky said ... only threaten them instead with making their firm front-and-centre in your next post if they don't make you head of IT.

Meanwhile, Damn Cat, congratulations, and I hope it works out. I'm rootin' for you. Have a Free Beer on me.
America or Nigeria?

No matter. Congratulations!!!
How could they NOT hire you, my friend. And, the really good part of this story is that you never had to resort to working for Wal-mart....YOU ROCK!
Yay, Tink! Remember, while it is acceptable to forget the words to the National Anthem, do not sing it off-key. That is a career-killer, regardless of your field.
get it, Tink! Good luck!
I'm in between but it's been busy. At least an interview a week. Things seem to be picking up.
toritto, thank you!! And FIRST!! And actually FIRST!! WOOO!! ;D

Catherine, I've heard that. I'm not sure if that's good news or bad!! EEK!! :D

dragonangels, thank you!!!

Monkey, force is loaded and ready to go!! Woooo!! :D

Cranky, GOOD IDEA!! ;D

john, possibly 18th or 19th century. Told you, been a long time!!! ;D

~writes down~ Wear clothes!! :D

froggy, really? That's my best closer!!! :D

Catherine, but, but, that's my best closer!! What? :D

scanner, I'll send you the 2 cents later. Did you see john's comment, 2 cents not that big of pay!! God, must be AWESOME to be a hollywood type!! GAWD!! Bet he gets paid five cents a script!!!!!!! :D

Satori, I can use all the good thoughts I can get!! ~:) Thank you!!!

Fusun, I'll add that to, "Don't do kitty happy dance". ;)

femme, teehee, yeah, that sounds like something I would do!! :D Thank you. I won't touch the interviewer, unless he asks, and then...:D

Larry, shoes? I GOTTA WEAR SHOES????!!! EWWWWWW!! :D

Robin, thank you very much!! Wooooo!! :D

Linda, I'm fast!! ~;D

Kate, here's hoping!! WOOOOO!! :)

Matt, oh yeah, going to purr a lot, and I'll rub their ankles bare.

Wooo!! :D

Fred, I know!! I'm purrrrrr-fect!! :D

Bernadine, I'll try!! Put my best paw forward!! WOOOO!! :D

Boaner, I'll threaten their rose bushes!! YEA!! ;D

Thank you!!!

trig, damn it, I didn't ask, though I think Mob, so possibly Italian!!!

What? :D

Torman, I was afraid to put in for Walmart, be afraid they'd reject me!! K-Mart did!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! :D (My ego couldn't take that!! :D)

Thank you!!!!
Purple Pedant, gotcha!! Never sing off key unless you want to have no career!! :D

Eve, thanks a bunch!!

Snoreville, it does seem to be picking up, glad too!! ~nodding~ :)

LC, thank you very much!! Getting it on!! WOOOO!! :)
Another good interviewing tip is to cover up after you use their litter box. (If the interview goes poorly you can always sling it onto the carpet on your way out.)
Good for you! I know the "high" that you're feeling. I am finally back to work myself after a long dry spell and too few interviews. Go get em girl! :)
Tinkerertink69
I will be putting forth my best Tech-Brotherhood vibes for you. Remember wait on the hookers and cocaine until after the interview.
Happy happy joy joy. Good luck!
Okay, listen up, here's what you gotta do so you don't blow it: Demand a parking space near the front door; find out how hot your personal secretary is and provide a list of your favorite restaurants for when she places your lunch order; ask if you can have your sign-on bonus in cash, preferably before you start; tell them you require a masseuse three times a day; and be sure and put your feet up on the interviewer's desk while leaning back in the chair with your fingers laced behind your head and a condescending sneer on your face.

Worked for me!

Wait, no it didn't. They called security and threw me and my foul-mouthed parrot into the parking lot.

Good luck!!!!!!!
Different, ~nodding~ Good advice!! :D

tonkatuff, I'm hoping for that 'I GOT A JOB' high too! WOOO!! :D

Thank you and congrats!!!

Stellaa, God, I know, I'm such an ass with my titles!! ;D Yeah, that'd be awesome, "IN TODAY'S NEW, TINK GOT A JOB!! THERE'S HOPE FOR THE REST OF YOU!!" :D

Anthony, oh yeah, they'll be on a holding pattern!!!!! :D Lots of em if they interview goes super well!! ~:D
Rei, thank you!! HAPPPPPPY HAPPPPPPPPY!! JOOOOYYYYY!! JOY!!! :D

Margaret, wait, they gave you a parrot on the way out? AWESOME!!!

:D
Yea for Tink & good luck. We'll be waiting to hear.
good luck ... and remember nothing and exude hairballzyness.
trilogy, I'll be posting on Thursday the results!! :D

Chuck, hairballs are like a cat's way of saying 'Thanks for being...YOU!!" ;D
Veronica, thank you very much!! :)
i know you will wow them, tinky
^^TEARS^^

TINK!!! You got an interview!!!!
But who is gonna be my best bottom bitch if you get a real job?? I can't be a pimp without no ho!! I'll have my fingers crossed for u kitty.. Let's hope i get one soon too ;P
diana, I know I will too!! Woo.

Stella, be the best!!!!! Those experts suck!! ~nodding~ :D
white and black, it's okay, I'll still be your bitch and you can still be my Ho/Pimp/Baby's Daddy!! ~smooch~

;D

((Jobs for the both of us!! We're both starting to go stir crazy!! Teeheehee!! :D))
Good luck Tink. May the forces be with you.
Congratulations and best of luck!!
Oh, everyone loves the help desk heroes, they all fly in with capes and super powers. One of my prized possessions (still taped to my monitor) is a tiny photo of bullet holes from a guy at Wells Fargo, no one can jack up a system like Bleue, tee hee.

Let me know if they need people to test from home, the QC/Test dept. at the last dot com I worked for loved me, I could find the flaw and break anything in the next version before roll out. Curiosity killed the software, purrrr...

Don't forget to wear a push up bra! You're in my odd pagan prayers.
Excellent! You also succinctly summed up all good advice on job interviews in one quick piece.

Best of luck!
Great News - do a Y'all Tube Style Self Promo vid and send it in advance so when you feel the need to crap in the corner of the interview room they will be watching it and not notice. Just remember to cover it over like a good Pussy (Cat).

Did you know LLoyds of London has an Executive Cat Flap for FRed(tm) ?
So Happy for the Tinkertink! Doing the dance... R
Mark, isn't it though!!?? WHOO!! :)

Christine, I've already got the Force packed away!! Woooo!! :D

Lilly, thank ya!!!! A LOT!!!

Bleue, ~nodding~ We the IT freaks thank you for breaking stuff!! Keeps us in a job.....:D

And I'll take any and all prayers, no matter what Gods, Goddesses, or Tree/Plant they go to!! ~huge hug~

Chicago Guy, I try to pass along information whenever I can!! :D Thank you!!!
whooooooooo whooooooooooooo???YOU YOU!!!
What's not to love about you TInkster? Fingers way way crossed...lighting a candle too. Go get em Tiger!!! R for really great news! xo
Creekend, good advice!! That Fred is a lucky cat!!!!! I had an entry door to the Chicago Museum of Fine Art but they found it and covered it up!! BASTARDS!! :D

Blu, GOTTA LOOOOOVVVVVVESSSS THE DANCE!! ;D
Muse, I know, I'm totally awesome, right? ;D Thank you very much!!!!!
remember ~ armpit ponytails are passé. Except in Milan... and maybe Stalingrad.
Awesome! Bring your sense of humor. Good luck!
Inverted, so should shave!! Gotcha!! ;D

rooster, humor already in the bag!!!! Thank you!! :)
old new lefty, I know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D
Gary, and when that day happens, all will be right with the world!! ~nodding~ :D
You have kept such a great attitude (at least on OS), and your sense of humor is refreshing, and I REALLY HOPE that you get the job!!!
Dude, I always find you hilarious, but this is pure gold. You should already be employed - at a place where funny writers work (rules out most "comedy" programs on TV, but still). At the same time, I can feel the real, relatable pain behind this excitement. You are the shit. I'm going in for another read.
I hope you get it. Unless it's a job with the devil. It's not the devil, is it?
Go get 'em, Killer cat! All good thoughts and positive dreams coming your way:)
We have a "polite desk" where I work, not a help desk. You can never get any help, but they're awfully polite.
Roger, thank you very much. In reality, I've been hiding under my blankey, crying, and cursing out the world. ;D

Gary, BUWWWWHAAAAHAHAAAAAACOUGHHACKOHGAWDDOWNTHEWRONGPIPEHACKHACK.....:D

Rebecca, thanks!! I try to be funny as there's no use trying to be all serious, doesn't help, and it makes me feel worse cause then I'm like, BOOHOOHOO!! And there's no more beer so....:D

I thought about trying out for Jay Leno, he seems like he'd be easy to write for!! :D

Connie, MOST DEFINITELY!! ~nodding~ :D

Mumble, uh, it's with the devil, according to Google, but that's okay too, devil pays really good!! :D

Susan, thank you very much!! I'm going to go out and get em!! Even go get a hair cut tomorrow!! Woooo!! :D
Make sure you're wearing pants. And good luck! I'm happy for you! ~r
I can feel nothing but good vibes and Karma coming your way. Maybe that soul searching walk you took with your wife looking for dino poop had some inexplicable positive affect. Or not. I think it's your turn this time. Good luck.
Sheepdog, I bet they say stuff like, "We'll call you back!!" because you never say, "I don't know!!!" :D

(Actual pep-talk from one of my old bosses at a staff meeting ---- say it in an Indian accent and you'll get the full effect!! :D )
Joan, wait, pants too??? First shoes, now this!!! EEK!! ;D

Conrad, here's hoping!! Otherwise, I have a whole new series of pictures for a lot more good stuff!! ~nodding~

Basically, I'm going to go around to the places that haven't hired me, and take a picture of their corporate HQs and photoshop em so they look like crack houses!! :D
Yay!! Hire the Tink!!

I was going to tell you to remember to put on some clothes, but numerous others already told you that. How well we know you. Good luck!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! So Happy for you!!!!!!!!!!
Ready! Aim! ........er.....uh. That's not what I wanted to say.

Don't shoot till you see the whites of.......hmmmm, that's not it either

Oh yeah!!

"GOOD HUNTING" ol' Lion-cat!!

(*waddles around room pretending he's dancing*)

.
GREAT !!! NOW GET THAT JOB AND SPEND ALL YOUR TIME ON OS COMPLAINING ABOUT IT!
That's what I do!
It makes me cool!
crossing my diabetic toes fer ya!
im happy for you.. now send some of that good ju ju may way or else im gonna have to start explaining why parts of the kids are disapearing.
That's great, Tinky! Try to look smart during your interview. I will help distract the guy away from your tail. :)

Lezlie
Woo Hoo!!! Not too much cologne, but if you want to, go to Nordstrom's and get Gendarme!!! My fave! Or just brave it, ahhh naturale! Don't listen to me. I'm warped. But wishing you all the best!
yujuuuuuuuu
yes yes
good luck
let us know
crossing fingers and eyes
Oh.. and.. if you get too nervous... DON´T FART PLEAAASE
Lasties! (for now)

Tips:
Don't lick your paws too often
If offered milk, lap it up from the side of the bowl nearest you.
Never admit to sniffing catnip or rolling in grass
Do not try to sniff the interviewer's cleavage, no matter how tempting!

Hugs and cheers to a successful interview.
I'm too tired to come up with anything more clever than what others have already said. So I'll be sincere. Good thoughts your way. An IT guy with a sense of humor...divine.
I'm excited for you!!!!!!!!! You deserve the best! :)
I brought the parrot with me. Probably my first mistake.
CONGRATULATIONS Tink!! I'm sending all the good karma I can! It took me 2 years to find a proverbial home... So everything is crossed for you!!
I read this earlier, but then got called away to receive a massage and forgot my name for a while. Who is this? Oh, Tink, yeah. Kiss the Blarney! That'll be all the luck you need. Call me sometime, you know, when you have some catnip for two and a good story about how you tricked the interviewer into scratching you between the ears and cleaning out your litter box. BEST WISHES!
Good luck Tink. If it's not too late, can you get someone to do a practice one with you? It helps.
That's fantastic! I hope you got the job. You'll have to let us know. This was a laugh-out-loud (LOL) funny read. Thanks!
heron, ~nodding~ It would seem my antics are well known!! ;D

Hermi, thank you very much!! :)

sky, hopefully I'll bring back lots of mice to dine on Thursday Nights Cat Dine a Thon!! Woooo!! ;D

J D, exactly what I did back when I had a job!! Wooo!! :D

Major, hurray!! Hopefully they don't fall off!!! I'm so going to hire ya a nurse when I hit the big time!! She won't be hot, but she won't have any of her teeth! Wooo!! :D

Barbra, good juju your way!! WOOOO!! Stop eating the kids toes!!! :D

L, HURRAY!! Wait, my tail is the best part of me!! ;D

Cathy, I shall go to the cologne counter and check out some of the samplers!! ;D

Mauricio, no farting!! Damn, too many rules!! ;D

xenon, there's rules for drinking milk?? SINCE WHEN??? 1834 huh? Damn!! :D

Mimetalker, I've been told that an IT guy with a sense of humor is rare, but all the guys and gals I've ever worked with have always been funny!! :D Okay, some weren't suppose to be funny, but well...:D

Patricia, thank you!! I do deserve the best!! ;D

Margaret, yeah, most the parrots I've known are kind of mouthy!! ~nodding~ Especially when they've been drinking!! :D

dvorasnell, thank you very much!!!!!! I've been pretty lucky so far, 11 months without a job to call my own, so here's hoping!! ~nodding~

Bowl, ahhhh, thanks, I've been trying to call you, got some good stuff, but I keep getting 'your assistant' who's like, blah blah, blah?! :D

Maybe Friday. Wooooo!! :D

Fett, yeah, the next question is ""Did you turn off and then back on your machine!" :D Heres hope for the both of us!!!!!

Abrawang, little late, but I always do that inside my skull, which has been good for the most part, but sometimes, it's like, get in the interview and good answers goes bye bye!! :( ~L~

lizw9, I'll give an update on Thursday!! :D Hopefully good news like, "I didn't trip while entering the office!!" WOOOO!! :D

~Taking a bow~

e, HAPPY DANCE INDEED!! WOOOO!! :D
#sniffle##
don't forget about us when u get this job ok? You promise? Can i take over your blog and be your p.r spokes peep that says stuff like "Tink officially has no comment, now fuck off he'll fix your damn computer when he fucking wakes up from his nap!"?? Pretty please?? I can be nice too.. "Fuck off please! Tink can't be bothered with your tired outdated software till next tuesday, get in line assclown!"
See? I would be great at the job! :D
Oh .. P.s that isn't the best pic of u.. Ya look a little tarded.. Im just sayin
:D
Fingers crossed for you Tink....
white and black, YOU'RE HIRED!!

And durn it, I am a little tarded!! ;D

Moana, thank you very much!! I can use all the finger crossing I can use!! :)
Go for it Tink! A few small tips -

1. Don't try to imagine the interviewer being naked. Sitting down, staring, turning green and then vomiting into your lap does not give the best initial impression.
2. Check for hairballs before you go in.
3. Make sure that you have clothes on.
4. Don't wear your lucky hat/jockstrap/knuckledusters.
5. Don't decide to talk like a pirate.
6. Don't decide to talk like a Jager from Girl Genius.
7. Don't take helium as you go in.
8. Don't make up your own language.
9. Don't tell them that failure to hire you will lead to the death of untold kittens.
10. Don't tell them that if they don't hire you'll get your friend Big Vinnie to come around break their legs.
Congrats! Sure hope it goes well. I have one,as well, on Monday, Valentine's Day. I was perfect for the last job I interviewed for a few weeks ago, but I never heard from them again. This one I'm not so perfect. Good luck.
Definitely wishing you the best. Love the final pic in the post. That's a happy cat.
*confused look* "pushup bra" *gender issues* Hmmm WTF kinda job.....etc........LOL

anyway Good Luck

:-0)
Good luck and hope you don't sweat so much you get pit stains!
Did anyone ever tell you that your enthusiasm is f****** contagious???? I. Am. So. Excited for you! I can't wait!
Well hot damn! Knock 'em dead, but not literally, and if you pick their nose make sure you get a video of it so you'll make the cover.
It's February so, take a shower and comb your hairs.
Good luck and, go get 'em Tman.
Cym, damn it, really? No death threats? That's my best stuff right there, along with talking like a pirate after sucking helium!! :D

Sheba, good luck to you as well!! ~nodding~ We'll knock em dead!! Woooo!! :D

Duane, very happy cat, he just learned he won the lottery!! :D

litenin, it's all good, I'm sexually confused. Teeheehee!! ;D

Razzle, damn, never thought about that!! OH MY GOD, I'M SCARED!! :D

Laura, thanks!! I can use all the luck I can get!!!

Berdina, I once was contagious, with something, Black Death or something like that!! ;D Thank you!!!!

nana, you know I wouldn't make cover even if I discovered the cure for cancer was yogurt on your butt!!!!!!! Ed I Tor HATES me. She told me that on our ninth date, worse Ground Hog's Day EVER!! WAAAAAA!! :D

X and Me, ~sniff sniff~ Yep, it's bath time!! Thanks for the reminder!! ;D
Bonnie, I loves pickets!! I'm really good at making sign!! Now, I'm hoping, they don't hire me!! ;D
Oh geez, can you imagine all of OS picketing somewhere?!?!?
sweetfeet, it'd be awesome!! ~:D