Back long ago, before the economic downturn from Hell, a person would see a job opening, they might go and fill out an application, put in a resume, whatever and then, more than likely, get an interview with the chance of maybe getting a job in return.
Nowadays, it's like finding gold just getting the interview.
It's like Christmas when you were a little kid, so much excitement, dancing around the room singing:
(TO THE TUNE OF I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH)
I GOT A JOB INTERVIEW!!
I GOT A JOB INTERVIEW!!
Heck, you're almost pass out happy when you get a rejection letter as it means they LOOKED at your application/resume/cry for a job most people call a "Cover Letter".
This Sunday morning, I hit APPLY for job.
It was for a job as an IT Help Desk.
I wasn't expecting a reply as 99.9 percent of these attempts at jobs usually turn into 'WE LIKED YOUR RESUME, BUT WE DESPISE YOU, PLEASE SEND WHOMEVER WROTE YOUR RESUME FOR A JOB!!'
But this time, in response to that APPLY, I received an email back in return on Monday afternoon(I didn't see it till today), "We wants to intervue ya for the position of Dog Specialist Level 9!! Are you availables for an intervue sometime this week?"
Okay, it was really for a PC Support position (it's been so long since I've broken some PCs, I hope I remember how!!), and I told them, YES, OH DEAR GOD, YES I'M AVAILABLE!
I didn't want to sound desperate.
I sounded more like a crack whore.
Not TOO desperate, just enough to tell them,
"Yes, I would LOVE some crack!"
I'm telling you, it has been a LONG dry spell even in the interview area.
I mean, it has been so long I believe I grew my cherry back and will now have to re-pop it.
I think I remember some of the rules of the Interview.
- It's okay to pick your nose but unless asked, it's NOT okay to pick the interviewer's nose.
- When asked about your shortcomings, it's okay to say, "I try too hard sometimes." and even "I cried when they put ole Yeller down" but never "I wet the bed...."
- When asked 'What is your ideal scale of pay?' stating, "Millions and millions of dollars would be nice, but anything over 2 cents a stitched shirt is okay too!" is acceptable.
Heck, it's been so long, is 2 cents a stitched completed shirt too much?
I mean, back in my day, 2 cents was good pay. I've heard from some of my friends in the field, that it's now PER DOZEN SHIRTS, which isn't very good but well, you gotta do, whatcha gotta do!
I have to get my hair cut, my nails done, my best 'HIRE ME' dress out of mothballs and cleaned, etc. etc.
I'm so excited.
I GOT A JOB INTERVIEW!!!!!!!!