$2.00 a gallon gasoline!!!!
GOP presidential candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann on Friday stood by her promise to bring gas prices down to around $2 a gallon if elected.
$2 a gallon gasoline!! Did you read that my friends?
Has Obama, or as we all know him as THE EVIL ONE, done such a thing for us?
Nope, that son of a donkey lover raised the price.
The sap sucker!
How do I know he has?
Michele Bachmann told us so!
“The price of gasoline the day that Barack Obama took office was $1.79 a gallon. If the price of gasoline was $1.79 a gallon just two and three years ago, certainly we can get it back down to that level again. Why wouldn’t we be able to do that? We’re a ‘can-do’ America,” the Minnesota congresswoman said during an interview on the Washington Times-affiliated “America's Morning News” radio program.
$1.79 a gallon when Barack Sapsucker Obama took office.
I know what you're saying right now, "Tink you dumbass, the oil companies control that stuff, not the president!!! Don't you think he'd want cheap gas for his fleet of Hummers?" but answer me this, who controls the nukes?
THE PRESIDENT DOES!!!
And wouldn't you think, if he wanted lower prices on gas, he'd threaten to nuke the oil company headquarters if they wouldn't lower the price of gasoline?
YES, OF COURSE, IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! PRESIDENT OBAMA IS THE DEVIL!! EVIL!! EVIL!!!
“What Barack Obama has done is lock up America’s eneregy reserves. We’re the No. 1 energy-resource-rich nation in the world. We have more oil in three Western states in the form of shale oil than all the oil in Saudi Arabia. That doesn’t include the Bakken oil field in North Dakota or the eastern Gulf region or the Atlantic or the Pacific or Anwar or the Arctic region,” she said.
“We also have a brand-new natural gas find in Pennsylvania with over a trillion cubic feet of natural gas. We also have 25 percent of all the coal in the world. We just aren’t accessing or utilizing our energy. Energy could be one of the most stable, accessible forms of resources for business in the United States. …And we would create millions of high-paying jobs instantly,” she said.
...and monkeys will fly out of our asses!! God, it all makes sense right now, the planets are aligned and wisdom is being added to the brain of Socrates!
MINE NORTH DAKOTA, WE'LL GET TO THE REST LATER
Millions of high paying jobs will be created instantly, like right out of the air, magic like!
And all we have to do is elect Michele Bachmann as president.
She has a magic wand that will make the oil companies tap those places and god damn it, they'll like it, even love it, because we, the people, will get cheap gas!!!!
The oil companies only want what is best for the people.
Seriously.
Just ask them, they'll tell you!
In other news today, Tinkerer Tink has officially announced his campaign to run for President of the United States of America.
He officially announced that when he becomes President, he'll:
- Lower the price of gasoline to 12 cents a gallon. How? He'll nuke the oil companies if they refuse. "Magic, I tell you, those atom bombs!" Tink was quoted in the Washington Times as saying
- Cokes will go back to being a nickel. "Damn that Ronald Reagan for raising the price of Cokes and damn those other presidents after him for continuing to raise the price!! Coke should be 5 cents a bottle!!!"
- Cocaine will be free. "And will also be put back into the Cokes!!!! 5 cents a bottle!!!!!"
- Run over those damn protestors. "War? What's it good for? EVERYTHING!!! GET A HAIR CUT YOU HIPPIES!!!"
- Bring back to life Richard Nixon. "Why? I say WHY NOT? GET A JOB YOU BUMS!!!"
- Paint the White House black and his wife white. "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose!!!! THE SOVIET UNION IS OUR PROBLEM, THE RED SCARE HAS BEEN RE-BORN!!"
- Free lap dances. "As God intended!"
- Something about your mom. "Your mom is hot!!"
Sources for Mis-information by Tink
http://www.rferl.org/content/michele_bachmann_rise_of_the_soviet_union_ussr/24302353.html
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2011/aug/19/michele-bachmann-stands-by-2-a-gallon-gas-pledge/
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Comments
Good night and have a cheaper tomorrow...
Catherine, ~nodding~ Good question!! ;D
(And yep, that's the job of the VP!! :D)
We need to have the good people survive.
HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
We deserve what we have coming.
Frank, ~nodding~ The scary part is, there's people out there who seriously support her and for the life of me, I can't figure it out!!
But ya gotta admit, 2 dollar a gallon gas sounds awesome, right? :D
Either way- I fully support your candidacy- and I can get you some great dead rock star endorsements- in exchange for being named Ambassador to Columbia perhaps?
The monkeys thing explains a lot about my butt hurting lately.
Anthony, me too!! Wooo!! ~:D
Princess, ~nodding~ Yep, it's really easy to make promises and then later, say, welp, I tried!! ~;D
Linnnn, ~nodding~ Good times for the Amish then!! ;D
Susie, all legit too!! ;D
I'll have to research it, but back in the 70s, there were several hundred nuclear warheads buried in silos under wheat fields in ND. (Regean's star wars, remember that?) If I forgot about 'em, maybe the gov't did, too. There's only 250,000 people in the whole state, shouldn't take to much to overthrow the farmers (watch out for those mega John Deere tractors, though).
Now, you've got your nukes! Use them wisely!
The REAL complete birth certificate -
:-) / R
Poppi, I don't think I want the job, too much stress, not enough groupies!! ~:D
Frank, thank you!! Remember, vote for me, and often!! ~:D
toritto, I wasn't born, I just sprung from Hell!! ~:D
Yes, it will be Michelle for sure, so I had best read your sources of mis- information.
And get ready for $2.00 gas. Unless you run and I like your price better.
I flagged you months ago, but still, you're around!! WHAT THE HELL!?!?!!? :( ~giggle~
Sheila, thank you!! ~takes a bow~ :D
Pierre, how does 12 cents a gallon sound? It's doable!! All we have to do is take over the world and bam....there ya go!! WE CAN DO IT!! :D
(Wait, porn? Ooooh, that fellow might be tough competition...and yeah, the U.S. just isn't ready for a Mormon for Prez. Maybe a moron, and we've had a few of those in our history(actually about a good 99.9 percent of them!! You figure out the .1!! :D)
EEK!!
Wait, what? :D
If you win, can I have a ride in Air Force One?
If you win, can I have a ride in Air Force One? I promise I won't relieve myself in the aisle.
The shale oil deposits she references have exactly...sit down, this is big...have exactly ZERO barrels of petroleum.
She either has an energy plan along the loaves and fishes line or she's a freakin' moron.
rate
Okay, now where'd I put my meds?
On the founding fathers there is a lot of misunderstanding surrounding their behavior and the true intent of their actions. For instance, many of the federalists claimed they were declaring their independence due to the raise in taxes from the British, but as soon as they had gotten rid of the British they taxed the poorest of the population. I believe if you read about ten to twenty books I have in mind you would have a really different idea of the founding fathers. In fact, I will read your books if you read my books (on the founding fathers). I think it could be good. We could have a book club Tink. I have been a little bored in bed. I have made many picture frames. Looked at a lot of pages on facebook. I will be on facebook more, I have made some good friends over there. Still I am bored. SO what do you think about my book club on the founding fathers idea?
I have believed myself a centralists for a long time. And it is lonely here in the middle.
Please don't bring back dead Nixon, enough creepy photos for one decade and my retinas hurt.
rated
HONESTY!!!!........HONESTY!!!!
(*What are you laughing at? Hey it's better to have a loveable pussy in the Oval Office than a dumb cunt...*)
Anyway, glad to see you've thrown your hat into the ring (of ire) once again, Tink. But where's the Free Beer plank in that platform of yours?
Abrawang, yes she is!!~:D
Myriad, my point exactly!! You'll be giving a department as well, pick one!! :D
Paul, can't it be both??? :D
Dr, ~nodding~ I usually try to vote the Insanity ticket, but this next election, I think I'll just vote whomever gives me money!! ~:D
Marilyn, no way, just think of all the cool stuff I could blog about then!! Whose going to stop me? I'll be the Prez!! ~;D
grif, I know! Just imagine all the road trips we can take at $2.00/gal!! Woooo!! :D
John, she sure does!!!! I'm still being stalked by my 'We'll always be together Tink, forever and ever, even after death!!' :D
Rosigami, did you check under the bed? That's where I keep my meds!! ~:D
My Heart, only thing I know about the Founding Fathers, a lot of them liked to father(Especially that Thomas Jefferson!! :D). ~nodding~ :D I'm not sure where I stand, I like my guns, but others, shouldn't have them, I should be the only one with guns and bullets!! ~:D Abortion? Post birth abortion up to 80 years old for stupidity, just like George Washington wanted!!! :D
The Internet is pretty good place to find out about the founding fathers and mothers, and the Children of the Corn. ~nodding~ :)
Bleue, and I stole that photo from the Washington Times!! :D Her "official press photos" aren't much better than the Newsweek 'Crazed' pics!! ~shaking head~ She needs a pro-photographer following her around, and I can do that!!! :D
lefty, YES SIR!!! ;D
mical, :D It's all about the title!! ;D
bobbot, she can lick my sausage!! Teeheee!! :D
omfgarth, OOOH YEA!!! :D
Dr. Evan, and she LOVES the sausage!! :D So, if we drop gas down to 12 cents, we'll be in fine shape!! :D
Boaner, FREE BEER TOMORROW!! :D
Belle, I can tinkle with the best of them! Just ask Bill Clinton!!! ~:D
roberto, I will laugh while Rome, London and Washington DC burn!! ~:D
Matt, you know what you have to do, vote for Glads!! ~:D
Oh, bestill my heart! I am crushing on you something awful now. :)
:: walks away to register to vote. Tink for President button perma-pinned on ::
Robert, ~nodding~ Doing my duty so others don't have to!! ~:D
roberto, I don't think I have any other sense!! ~:D
But your idea is pretty good too!!! FREE!! ~:D
I will vote for Tinkerer tink. Just ask the Blind man he saw it too.
Lying damn cat....
Boaner, come back tomorrow...:D
al loomis, but that's been a long known qualification as well. :D
-Zap Mitty's BofA account and insert foreclosure docs;
-buy stock in Coke;
-give Linda big HUGGGGGGGG in her sleep;
-slap Frank in his sleep; then give him a HUGGGGGGG;
-replace used monkeys;
-put Salt Peter in Lipton Tea bags;
-reinstall road blocks to North Dakota;
-stock up on FREE PONIES;
-buy omfgarth a beer, he just won the "use pussy in a sentence" contest;
-recombobulate Matt P;
-set Coors factory on fire and put it out with FREE BEER!
Love and kisses for eternity, you crazy cat!
Gay God
God, I love you!! **hug** :D