Ah, I love you Facebook, the Internetathingy in general, with its apps like schoolFeed, ClassFace and other such wonders of modern technology.

So and so wants to be your friend, you two went to school together, remember?

To be serious, I don't, but okay, if you say so.

So and so wants to be your friend, you two did mushrooms in his parent's basement back in 1988, remember?

Maybe, but that's okay, we'll be friends, I'll read his updates, he'll poke me, we'll giggle, just like we did in 1988.

There's a request from the girl who said I was the father of her unborn child. 

The real father, one of them thug characters from a 1950s 'Teens in troubles', was HATED by the parents.

Do I say yes?

Why does her son look a lot like me?

Her relationship status says she's divorced, looking for her soulmate.

Message from her: Remember me? I remember you! Call me!

No thanks.

I kid, I add her. 

She was cool in school, cheerleader, homecoming queen, and she still would show up at my house to play Atari 2600 with me in my parent's basement.

She'd let me win.

The rest of the 'Class I graduated with' I have no clue, they look old.  I look in the mirror, and realize, I basically look like the same choad.

Billy Raymond from my class, he looks dead. 

Probably because he died in 2008 of a drug overdose.

Class of 1990, we licked the oyster or goat balls or something.

Facebook brings together total strangers for a chance for a one night stand in a seedy hotel in Paris(Texas).

"I like your status of 'At the Mason jar convention...' wanna fuck?"

The typical male aka me will reply, "Sure, why not? Star Trek doesn't start for another two hours. But what will I do for the rest of the hour and forty five minutes?"

For hours, I ponder the statuses of my friends, someone is 'Getting some' whatever some is, possibly a disease of the nose, knowing my friend.

I could spend years contemplating the photos of my friends alone.  Is that really their 'husband Tim' or did they just grab the photo from the frame they bought at Walmart and put that as their 'hubby lovely'?

Are my friends even real?

Could this all be The Matrix, explaining why I don't remember 99 percent of my so-called 'Classmates and friends' and they know EVERYTHING about me?

"I see you like MASTURBATING TO THE WEATHER CHANNEL, so do I, come be my neighbor in Farmville!" says Ranchy Susie from Duluth.

Do I want to be her neighbor?

Do I really want to plant virtual crops and then wait days to harvest them but if I don't get there in time, they rot?

They fucking rot?

What the hell?

Who wrote this game?

Some asshole was like, "Dude!! People want to time shit in the virtual world so their realworld is dictated by stuff online!! 'Sorry mate, can't bone ya right now, I got strawberries to pick in Farmville!! Whoo!!'"

Groups get started, wars do too!!

I have a feeling that the end of the world will start with Google.

Or a non-acceptance of a gift in Farmville.

"I sent you a billy goat, why didn't you accept it?"

"I don't play Farmville! Didn't you read my status?"

And hence began the great war between Iran and Turkey!

Anything you can think of, there's probably a porn site out there waiting for you.

Like balloons?

Others out there LOVE them, a lot, no, you don't understand, they REALLY like them!

Casts?

Yep, there's a fetish!

Girls throwing up into cups and uh, well, you don't wanna know what they do next?

Oh yeah, there's a few sites!

Tink in drag?

Sadly, yes.

The Internetthingy, gotta love it...

Good night and have a better tomorrow!