Open.Salon, I love you, more than you'll ever know.
Without Open, I wouldn't have half the imaginary friends I have nor would I know that out there, in some land far far away, possibly New York, Kerry is in the restroom at Salon Media, using his hair dryer for hours, while outside, having to go potty, Ed I Tor pounds at the door.
"Come on man, you don't even have any hair to dry!"
"I can dream! I can dream!"
Also, I would not get half the love letters I have sitting in my email folders, responses, back and forth, pictures exchange, love lost as my credit cards aren't any good, another Nigerian lover falls at my door step.
Today's friend didn't fall into my PM but was forwarded to me by a good friend and a great doctor(no charges for ice water enemas!!!) one Catherine F.
She had received it, a note reading as such ---
Hello dear,
My name is Miss.Queen I got your contact details open.salon.com
and I'm interested in knowing you & being friendly with you . I would appreciate if we get acquainted as soon as possible, you can reach me through my private e-mail stated below so that we can get to know each other better.
My private e-mail: (queenjobe12@yahoo.com
Dear contact my email (id) queenjobe12@yahoo.com ,so that i can give you my photos ok,
As most people know, Tink is all about the Mississippi Queen, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
So, with joy in my heart, and a tickle in my throat, I took to my email account and responded to Miss. Queen, as only I could, with love and respect and whatever else I can find on the floor of the X-rated movie theater!
Subject: Hilo! I's respond, you send pics?
From: Hochi69
Hello!How r u? I am fine!
We get acquainted right quick, please send foto, I will send foto too. In your foto to me, can you hold a sign that reads, 'Hello, this is me!' and that way, I will know it's you!
Attached is a photo of me, I hope u like! I also attached a photo of my puppy dawg, Mr. Cuddles!!
Your friend,
Ed Fartes
PHOTOS ATTACHED
Tink note: IT'S ME!! Teehee! No, just kidding, it not really me, but John Stamos. I do have the same suit though.
For those of you who do not know The Stamos, let me cut and paste this from Wikipedia's wonderful tribute to the living legend..
John Phillip Stamos (
/ˈsteɪmoʊs/ stay-mohs; born August 19, 1963) is an American actor, singer and musician best known for his work in television, especially in his starring role as Jesse Katsopolis on the ABC sitcom Full House. Since the cancellation of that show in 1995, Stamos has appeared in numerous television films and series. From 2006 to 2009, Stamos had a starring role on the NBC medical drama ER as Dr. Tony Gates. In September 2009, he began playing the role of Albert in the Broadway revival of Bye Bye Birdie. In September 2010 Stamos began a multi-episode arc as Dr. Carl Howell on the second season of the hit Fox series Glee.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Stamos
Tink note: Long time readers of the Tink Breakdown and Enema Show will know and love Mr. Cuddles from previous posts.
He just wants you to hug him, that's all! The State of Missouri has declared Mr. Cuddles a 'Friendly Pet Indeed!'
Go on, hug Mr. Cuddles! That chain, just for show!! He lubs you!
Who's a good puppy?
MR. CUDDLES IS!!
No Wikipedia entry for Mr. Cuddles, cause, well, we're still trying to get him an agent. Mr. Stamos did express interest in working with Mr. Cuddles but well, after the 'nip' incident, we were forced to exit the contract.
Who knew Mr. Stamos could bite so hard.
Mr. Cuddles is in talk with his lawyers over a lawsuit.
So will love strike, will Miss. Queen respond?
Who knows!
But if not, while reading my emails there, I had another win/win ---
John Kelly ---- blank subject --- oh yeah, he went there!
Date: Mon, 2 Jan 2012 15:11:14 -0500
From: ingrambw@q.com
Subject:
--
need help pls
John probably dead cause well, I very rarely check this account unless I'm in a love fest or I want to check out profiles I get in newsletters from loveme.com(Russian brides! I lubs them!!!) but I respond with such wordiness that was required!
OK
I hope John gets my message!
Is he dead?
Bleeding?
Weeping?
Cold?
Hungry?
What the fuck John, give me a sign, ARE YOU THERE JOHN? IT'S ME, HOCHI69, I HEARD YOU, BUT IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE!
Anyways, again, I love you Open.Salon, you're the best, almost as good as getting worms, mmmm, butt across the carpet in the living room!
Good night and have a better tomorrow!
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Comments
mical, I know, right? Carpet, mmmm...:D
Ian, either or the others, whatever, it gives Open that lived in look!! ~:D
Nana, it makes the itchy feel OKAY!!! ~nodding~ :D
I'll send you the address for the vet I go to. Real nice, ice water enemas followed by a kiss on the nose and a pet, two if you're really nice. And a lollipop for your butt!!
What? :D
I loves love stories and hey, with OPENSALON in the title, it's a win-win.
Kerry, blow.... drying? HEEHEE!!
There you quoting lyrics from that 70's band, Mountain
Mississippi Queen ...she taught me everything!
I think Queen Jobe has some lessons for you too, Pinky Tink.
ATTN: Detective Jason Gee
Chief of Internet Fraud Dept.
Kansas City, Kansas, USA
.
I hear they are going to hear they are going to have the butt rug thing on Fear Factor next week.
HUGGGGGGGGG
I hear they are going to hear they are going to have the butt rug thing on Fear Factor next week.
HUGGGGGGGGG
Better than Jelly Fish and having to ask people to piss on you.
She taught me everything!
r.
Thank you for writing about doggie rug bum dragging, so enlightening while I was eating my berry yogurt and granola breakfast. I just can't seem to learn not to read you when I have something in my mouth ;-)
@Bobbot: I think you're onto something.
@SkypixieO: May I borrow your idea, please?
Lunchlady, yes she is!! Bisexual slut too!! ~:D
Matt, I didn't even get one!! WAAA!! ~:D
Trudge, me neither, I had to have someone forward me this one!! WAAAAA!! ~:D Bottom feeding is better anyways, we get all the mud! Wait, what? :D
Scarlett, I hope she sends pic!! ~:D
sky, I once sent them the phone number to the Head of the FBI, told them to ask for Fraud McGee!! ~:D
phyllis, and lots of it!! ~:D
Linda, Kerry likes to pretend he still has hair!! ~:D ~hug~
Sheila, it looks like it was an awesome party!! ~:D I took a long sleep!!! Wooo!! ~big stretch~ Needed it!! :D
Harry, according to the Internet search, I already am!! ~:D
cc, exactly!! ~;D ~purrrrrrr~ :D
mypysche, COME BACK, it's okay, she said she loves you most of all!! ~:D
CreekEnd, exactly!! Ain't love grand? :D
Frank, you're welcome!! ~:D
Jonathan, you're welcome!! ~;D
Bush, me too!! ~:D
daisy Jane, isn't he dreamy? SWOON!! :D
Gary, I should be ashamed, and once I find out the definition of the word, I might uh, use it in a sentence!! ~:D
heron, I learned not to write my stuff with stuff in my mouth!! ~:D
bobbot, youse goin' to be rich? :D
Gabby, but I like spoiled yogurt!! :D What? :D
Fusun, they send out so many notes cause they so serious about looking for love!! ~:D Yeah, that's it!! :D