Guess what today is?

"Dance nude down a stair case and let a drunk Tink paint it?"

No way! Really?

"Maybe!"

Damn, I thought today was Friday which means, scream out bad things in the general direction of a crowd and whoever gets upset, it must be true.

"How does that work?"

Well, see I scream out, "YOUR MOM IS A WHORE AND YOU ARE TOO!! YOUR DAD LIKES TO SWALLOW OTHER MENS' SEMEN!! HE'S A COCKSUCKER, YOUR GRANDMOTHER TOLD ME SO!!! HE LIKES IT IN THE BUTT TOO!!"

"And then what happens?"

I sit back and wait for someone or multiple someones to scream back, "Yeah, well, you're ugly!"

"What fun is that?"

Beats Spam Ed I Tor till she pulls out all her hair(including her naughty bits!!!) day which was offered by Cranky Cuss and Trig.

"Strange fucks putting up a day like that! Did they get pics of Ed I Tor performing such a task?"

They sure did!

"Will you be posting them?"

Can't, they're so naughty, that the gubermint said, NO! NO! TOO OBSCENE, WE MUST INTERJECT, REJECT AND PUT OUR FOOT DOWN!

"Damn that gubermint! Why don't they go you know, sodomize themselves!!?"

Can't, against the law in Gubermint Land.  They can suck themselves off and spit the contents into the mouth of another politician, and it's not gay, it's just governing!

"That's awesome. Can a papa politician and another papa politician get married and make baby politicians?"

Only in their dreams, a land full of monkey fuckers and orgy killers, a place where Newt Gingrich impregnates Michele Bachmann as her husband sucks his balls and declares it not gay because Newt is pentrating his wife!

"God bless Politiks!!!"

Yes, without politiks, I could not say, "Fuck you Washington DC" and not mean, the entire area of DC should fuck each other in whatever hole is appropiate and facing at the time.

"But what about the main stream media?"

They can go fuck themselves too!  E! Network especially, who cares what the Kardashians do unless it involves a suicide pact with themselves and their clan of retarded monkeys.

Bruce Jenner should wander off before the suicides though, I like his face, it looks like its about to fall off his skull and begin a new career as a news anchor, just like Michael Jackson, before he went and killed himself with the help of Doctor KillMe, MD.

"But if they kill themselves, what will we watch on TV?"

The Home Shopping Network.

"The hell you say?"

Why not, you got something better to watch?

"When Vacations Attack!"

That is a pretty awesome show.  'Man falls off cliff while trying to ride his bicycle, HE DOESN'T SURVIVE!!!! FOX AT 11!!!'

"And Jersey Shore!"

No way, I want them to do the suicide pact too but not before they shove 2 x 4s up each others butt.  God that show is painful to watch.

"Isn't it though! They should use that as punishment for prisoners!"

Yeah!

'For the crime of murder, you must watch the entire series run of Jersey Sh0re or life in prison, which is it?'

"LIFE IN PRISON!! Oh gawd, please!!"

Talk about Cruel and unusual punishment.

"Add some Bachelor to that mix, and folks would gladly go to the chair!"

And so there you go, the first 'Scream out bad things in the general direction of a crowd and whoever gets upset, it must be true' Fridays.

I hope you enjoy even though you like to have sex with people for money, YOU WHORE!!

And if it's your birthday, HAPPY DESTROYING YOUR MAMA'S VAJAYJAY WITH YOUR UNHUMAN LARGE SKULL ON THE DAY OF YOUR BIRTH!!

Asshole!

Call your mom right now and apologize!!!

Good morning and have a better butt fucking at your place of employment.

If you're unemployed, we can live blog about day time television!!

MAURY! MAURY! MAURY!

(Note to folks: If the skank you pentrated awhile ago wants you to fly out to be on a television talk show, REFUSE, she getting your DNA one way or the other!! THE BABY AIN'T YOURS, so maybe go to rub her nose in the floor!! I love those episodes of Maury, the woman is all like, "But...but...I only slept witch u!!!" 

And your dad...wooooooo!!!)