How come it is okay for the gubermint and the politicks to steal money from us and call it taxes but when I do it, they call it a crime and throw my ass in jail?
Seriously, go over to your neighbor’s and knock on the door around a certain day, possibly April 15th, and say, “Tax time!” and take their money.
Leave them some to “invest” into the community, like buying bread.
See how long it takes the police to show up.
I bet you will be in jail faster than a senator killing an intern will.
You go out, kill an intern, and see how long it is before you are in the electric chair!
The senator will win re-election.
You will get to have ice cream for your last meal.
How come it's okay for a politick to take money from strangers to vote how they want and they call it a donation, but if they did the same thing to a regular citizen, like to throw a fight, it's called a bribe?
And why is it legal for politicks to do "Insider Trading" but when Martha Stewart did it, she went to prison?
Why is it okay to say, "Shit!" on television, including cable, without getting beeped, but they bleep, "I'm taking a shit!"?
Is it bad to take a shit?
According to the FCC it is.
So hold it in, or take a poo!
Poo is a nicer way to say shit.
And why can't we say, "Oh fuck!" on TV, let alone say, "Bob and Mary fucked like rabbits!"?
Censors are stupid.
Why is Frack okay instead of fuck?
I'd rather hear some Klingon say, "I'm going to fuck your ass so hard Captain Picard!" then them say, "Oh Frack, my roses died!"
Why do the birds sing out your name everytime you walk by?
Who wrote the book of love?
Is worshipping a guy who left two of his wives during their roughest times to end up with a circus clown and possibly our next Commander in Chief any worse than worshipping a guy who supposedly walked on water and turned water into wine?
It is?
Shit.
I mean poo.
No, no, I mean shit!
Why is it okay for people to bash other people all in the name of God, but if you do it for no purpose whatsoever except to do it, it's bad?
Does God go ---"Oh Tink, you called that man a douchebag without just cause! You should have beaten him with a baseball bat and caught his house on fire, killing his entire family, because he was an atheist! Or possibly Gay! Sorry, you don't get into Heaven with that random attitude of yours!"
How come Satan doesn't come out on his stance on abortion?
"Satan, our lord and death dealer, says, ABORTION IS WRONG!!! But it feels sooooo right!!!!"
I mean, there sure are a lot of people running around giving God's opinion on it.
Well,what they THINK is God's opinion on it.
And why is masturbation such a sin.
I can walk into a church and scream, "I had sex with a whore!" and maybe get a cough.
But try doing the same and instead scream, "I masturbated!", trust me, you'll get a whole different response.
Mostly ten hail Marys and a 3 days without television.
Now, run in and scream, "I had sex with a whore but I killed her cause it was all her fault!" and well, we'll be calling you Pope Paul The Ninth any day now!
How come I can't write as a pissed off black woman from Duluth even though I'm a gay white boy from Louisville, Kentucky?
Ed I Tor doesn't seem to care that much to investigate that I'm not and gives me EPs as that black woman.
And why doesn't she give me an EP as the white boy?
Is it because I'm gay but married to a woman?
Is it wrong to be a gay man trapped in a heterosexual man's body?
But it's okay to be a woman trapped in a man's body?
Damn those double standards!
Then, okay, I'm changing my status today to:
I'M A WOMAN TRAPPED IN A HETEROSEXUAL MAN'S BODY WHO WANTS TO HAVE BABIES, NOW! I HEAR MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK TICKING AND THESE EGGS WILL SOON BE DUST! HELLO? I'M WAITING....
What?
Sorry, I know, that won't fit in the title but shit, who cares, the Cover builders don't seem to care, now only if they learned how to spell 'resitance'!
Resitance: To reseat your Aunty Tillie and then go off to dance with your boyfriend Steve.
Yes, yes, a fine topic to be on the Cover and get EP!
Okay, I feel better now.
Really, I do.
I hope you do too!
IF you don't, go fuck yourself in your shithole.
Oops, I mean, go frack yourself in your poohole!!
Now ABC can air this blog!
Thank you!
Thank you Friendless Atheist for inspiring me to write from my cock and balls.
Thank you to the entire base of Open.Salon for being there when I needed a hit.
Thank you to Ed I Tor for not believing in me so much, I decided to come out as the real me, an angry pale white blonde woman looking for love in all the wrong places!
Stupid Match.com!
Thank you to Salon.com for keeping me away from your site. I know, I should go over there more, but you people frighten me.
Thank you TrollBait69 for your comment on Salon.com that keeps me away from there even more.
Thank you Kerry Lauerman, for believing in me awhile ago, back in my early days, and giving me my first EP.
Or maybe that was your secretary, and then, thank you Angie Moltoun for giving me my first EP!
And thank YOU for being a friend, if I threw a party, and invited everyone I knew, you'd be in a room all by yourself, cause you don't get along well with others!

Salon.com
Comments
This post met, no - exceeded, your usual high standards.
r./
looking for love in all the wrong places!" oh shit if only...
nah, u are a negotiator of the nebulous region
betwixt what we say and how we do,
which is your gift.
"Why do the birds sing out your name everytime you walk by?"
holiness has nothing to do with
sacred "fit": it is about
fitting with the vibes
and that is why
the birds sing.
Who wrote the book of love?
that would be you.
EP EP EP just for that line.
As the resident angry Black woman, I can confirm that EP's are a very rare mystery that I've never solved. That's mainly because I don't ever intend to serialize and reveal my true past as a gang banging, international celebrity crack ho with five crack babies who all went on to be Tuskeegee Astronauts, but only after Jessica Lange came and took them away from me and raised them so they learned to talk and act like Wayne Brady.
Wouldn't that be a string of EPs? Who knows? There is no method to the madness.
islandtime, ~takes a bow~ I soooo could use some wine right now!! I bet Jesus was like, "I could use some wine right now!!!" And was like, boop, the glass of water he was drinking turned to wine!! ~:D
James, ahhh thanks!! ~:D
Firechick, nah, I'm not happy at all. But on Valentine's Day, I go bisexual, get more presents that way!!
What? :D ~smooch~
GUBERMINT TOOK MY BABIES....GUBERMINT TOOK MY BABIES!! And all I did was shank the mayor!!!! Boohoohoo!!! He was evil, ask anyone, too evil for words....
":D
I like you just the way you are, and when you come out as the Angry Zuma, Ed I Tor lubs u too!!!
When I come out as Angry Tink, Ed I Tor hates me!! What the fruck? :D
Firechick, sweet!! I'm ready!! WOOOOO!!!!!! :D
a random comment to your random thoughts.
I thought you weren't going to tell! Actually, I don't look for love, I just talk about looking and bitch about not having it, so you can't be me.
Have a good night!
BTW I've always been a Capt. Kirk fan, Picard was such a poser. Sorry it just won't work out between us...
scanner, ain't he though!! But gotta lub him, he's my dad! ~:D
A Walrond, hmmm, 'shims went dancing with them!!" :D
phyllis, I do the same thing!! ~:D I think it's a good hobby!! ;D
LunchLady, it ain't me, must have been somebody else!! ~:D
jlsathre, according to the email I received from the Vatican, I's going to you know where!! :D
Sheila, HURRAY!! :D Tonight is 'Being Human' I lubs it!! ~:D
Barb, ~nodding~ But it's okay, go to confession the next day and all is forgiven!! ~L~ Doesn't matter if you're Catholic or not, just show up and confess your sins, make shit up!! Them priest get bored!! ~:D
cc, ~pout~ What's your feelings about Werewolves vs. Vampires? :D
Jack, I know!! ~:D I think I'm just too 'There' for the Royal Salon Keepers!! :(
Gerald, you have whatever you want, it's YOUR last meal!! Lobster gives me gas!! ~:D
Kenny, it's okay, we can just cuddle!! ~:D
Erica, I'm getting there, really soon!!!! Think it might even be loading up now! Woo!! ~:D
(*And turn the page in that Hustler; Ed I Tor is on page 32!*)
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