The year was 1989.
Kerry Lauerman, Previous Ed I Tor of Open.Salon and now Super God to the Salon , would not have his own TV show until many years later.
The current Ed I Tor, ala Emily Holleman (yeah, like that's her real name!), wasn't even hatched from the Cybercorporation's Breeding Labs until 2098 then sent back in time to try and kill Tinkerertink69, which she failed to do, so uh, she was made Ed I Tor to kill his dreams of being on MSNBC!
YOU BI...nah, I kid, I've already realized my dream as being featured on Stephen Colbert's website awhile ago(and the bastard didn't even tell me, had to find out through Google!! YOU FUC...nah....I still love ya!)
My friends(all three of them and all of them imaginary) and I were thinking of starting an after school club, something bitching, where we could play Atari down in my friend Steve's basement while downing bottles of Shasta Cola.
"Hey! Why don't we start a Future Homemakers of America!"
My friend Wayne, who was like totally into Home Ec but couldn't bake a cake to save his life, said.
"Uh, cause it already exists and well, Ms. Tyler won't let us join since, well, you know, The Incident!" Steve said, looking at me.
"Hey! Who knew blowing up a stove was a bannable offense!?" I threw back.
"EVERYONE!"
"Should be in a rule book or something!" I pouted.
"It is now!"
So instead, for some reason, we decided to call our club, The Future Terrorists of America and I was elected President by a landslide!
Okay, Steve pouted a bit but we made him Princess PooPoo Fuck!
Yes, yes, Steve, that should be "Co-Founder".
Not my fault the damn print shop owner misheard me!
Of course, I graduated from the "Sister Mary's School for Wayward Girls" in 1990 where I went on to "Sid Ramone's School of Art and Automobile Wash-A-Torium" where, in 1994 I graduated with a degree in underwater basket weaving(and an Associate Degree in Palm Reading!)
The Future Terrorists of America still prospers in my hometown of ButterFace, Montana under the same name and the same ideals!
Those ideals:
1. To make cupcakes
2. Drink Shasta Cola
3. Play Atari in Steve's parent's basement(his mom is still HAWT!)
And recently added this year:
4. Overthrow the United States of America Government(yep, just like the Girl Scouts!)
Good night and have a better tomorrow....


Salon.com
Comments
I've been watching videos all night. sigh...I don't miss those days, but certain parts of it hold weight
I wish I had some Haribo Saure Pommes Gummis and a tub of Countrytime Lemonade to snack on....maybe some peach gummi circles and cola gummis, too.
and a trashy teen beat sort of magazine auf Deutsch, natch.
and some hills and mountains instead of all this flatland, and orchards and vineyards and forests i can walk through, instead of cement as far as the eye can see
sigh. :p~~ the USA is UGLY!!! I don't hate it here anymore, but it sure is blerg in the parts I've chosen to live in.
Ahhh, thanks, I was a cutie in 1990. I'm a hunk now!! :D (Hunk of what? Maybe cheese!! :D)
nana, maybe someday my friend. Maybe someday. Maybe you're not planned to be hatched till like 2287!! And that hasn't happened yet.
Wait, what?
Time Travel is a weird science my friend, by the way, I wanna watch Weird Science again.
I tried to create my own girlfriend in biology lab one time but my teacher was like, if I did that, I'd be her father, technically, and that would be wrong.
Stupid science!!
And so was Julie....she still is!! I lub her hat!!!
Nana, you were cute too, still are, especially when you're nuking Kansas!!!! ~:D
Nice hair!!
Thanks on the hair!! I still has it, which is awesome!! ~:D
Course, for job interviews, I let it grow long and freak them out!! ~:D
:D
HUGGGGGGGG
Can't click on that one for you.
(or was that yesterday's theme song?)
(*sigh*)
.
And seriously dude, if you weren't on the watch list before now, you are now. And I ain't talkin' Rolex.
We are ALL classed as "low-level terrorists" just as everyone who has attended an "Occupy" occupation is.
Now they got your name on the no-f.. list and you will be monitored and followed. When the "collection" comes and the "trailers" are ready at the "camps" the helicopters will appear outside.
Better wear some tinfoil.
"-)
Shit! They probably have my name now too!
(Toritto- Known associate of Tink) Set up a folder.
Unless the pirate wimmin free us...
It works on your american trash tv we import into the UK.
Chocolate cookies too.
And so we got there and the Prezadent was there and he was like, SURPRISE TINK, THIS IS AN INTERVENTION!!!
I'm cured....of lubbing tea parties anymore!! ~:D