Hey wait a second, that ain't Tony Danza's butt! What kind of circus show is this anyways?

There's all kinds of change.

Good change, like finding a buck in nickels under your sofa.

Bad change, like finding your Uncle Buck dead  under your sofa. (And he died in 1978!)

Death is change. 

Grandmother always said death was life's way of telling us to slow down, rest a spell.

Rot in the ground so the critters would have something to eat while they wait for their own death.

Circle of Life or something.

"Death is one minute youse breathin' and the next minute, you ain't!"

I've discovered through my life, by watching like nature shows(Bad Sex) and fishing shows, that, when you've got the blues, you really shouldn't listen to them.

But when you're downright happy, full of life, sitting in an air condition room, drinking the good soda pop instead of the 10 cent a bottle stuff you found in the dumpster behind the grocery story, that's when you should go down to the Cross Road.

Best time to make a deal with the Devil is when you don't have to.

Like a Politician during election time and days that end in Y, the Devil, Stanley Winston to his good friends down at the pawn shop, will tell you anything for you to take that gold plated fiddle he's been trying to get rid of since 1907 or so.

"It's real gold!! You can tell good gold when it turns your fingers green!!!"

Girls, you know what I'm talking about.

Your boyfriend, on his butt, on the couch,while you two are watching monster truck racing, says to youse,

"Welp, guess I outta marries you, since you're liked knocked up and your Pa got his shotgun out! Wills you be my wife or something?"

And you, all blushing or just with that natural "rash" color across your face, said, "Wha? I's wasn't paying attention to you!"

And on the wedding day never to be remember by anyone, he slips that "Realz guld ring" he bought for you on QVC. $19.95!

Realz genuine cubic zirconia!!!!!

 
My sister is quite a catch! She not only cooks a fine turkey dinner with alls the trimmings, she can shoot the damn thing too!!! 

You wore white.

The ring turned your finger green.

"That's a guuden one there!" your mama said, half drunk on apple cider and meth.

Now what does that have to do with change?

Everything.

You can change the topic.

You can change the channel.

And every Saturday, whether you need to or not, you should change your underwear and socks, cause Sunday you need to go to church and pray for forgivness.

Forgivness for what?

Your sinning ways.

Looking at Tony Danza's package and wishing he'd occupy your butt with it!

Stanley going to get you, son, going to make you want to REPENT!!!

What's repent?

It's where you give back your change to the preacher man so he can say, "You are forgiving, now go out into the world AND PASS THE GOOD WORD ONTO OTHERS!!"

What's the good word?

Pizza, I think. 

I wasn't really paying attention to Pastor Tim's service this Sunday.

There was this little spider on the floor, right in front of me, and he was slowly walking, probably going to the Cross Road, cause his woman, you know the one, that devil woman with the green eyes and 'Sweet, sweet pie' between her legs.

I smooshed the spider.

Them suckers give me the creeps!