Tinkerertink69

Tinkerertink69
Location
Your closet, Indiana, France
Birthday
July 16
Title
President and CEO of Your Mom
Company
Your closet
Bio
Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you? Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!! What? Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog. Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!

Tinkerertink69's Links

Salon.com
FEBRUARY 9, 2012 8:14PM

TINK HAS BEEN INVITED TO F*CKBOOK! And the AARP!

Rate: 23 Flag

Today, I decided to empty my trash folder in one of my emails.

It had like 80 pieces of stuff in it.

One was titled, HEY DOZ U REMEMBERZ MEZ?

I noze do but I decided to open it anyways.

It was a long, rambling piece with no breaks anywhere.   By my count, if it had been printed out it would have been three pages of darling speakz u eva rad!

It began sweetly:

Hey U, doz u rememberz mes? We chatted on Facebook all the time, I was married at the time and I thought you were cute but I couldn't tell you that because I was married. (Also the email was addressed to BigDarkHorse@hotmail.com not to me at LittleWeeWee1@jerkitoff.com but who cares!!!)

The fuck!  I tell people all the time they're cute and I'm married! Teehee!

The letter continued on, telling me she was now divorced and was going to be moving close to me, in my area(though my area wasn't stated as in Buttfalls, Indiana!) and maybe, if I wanted, I could come over to her place to help her 'unpack' and that I knew what that meant.

Yeah, unpacking boxes sounds like work and who the hell wants that!

She then proceeded to ask me if I knew of any places that were hiring, hopefully in the bar scene.

Did I?

No, I didn't!

And then, for some odd reason, she wanted to tell me that her current boss, for some odd reason, gave her and the other employees, like three a piece free views of some site's sex cam and she gave them to me.

"Don't you dare share these as my boss only gives me three.  Instead of me licking your nuts, I'll be kicking them if you do!"

Fiesty! I likes!

No, I'm not sure what her current job is.  I do know my ex-bosses never ever gave me free passes to sex cams.  I did once find my supervisor's dating profile(the one his wifey found as well and almost divorced him!!) and replied as in ' I am a hot wet mama looking for a sexy man. My husband is always working at this casino as an IT Supervisor and I need someone to have kinky sex with while he's away.....' and his response back to me was, "Shaddup Tink!"

I went back to exploring my junk(folder) and there were three or four:

YOU HAVE BEEN INVITED BY (insert hot sexy name here) TO FUCKBOOK.

Oh my!

If you think Facebook is filled with naughty little vixens and hot guys in short shorts, then Fuckbook is Hell, a jism filled butt of a hell.

"Hi! I'm Tina, my cunt is wet and ready to be filled with your big hard cock."

I felt bad that she was under the impression that I had a 'big hard cock' so I wrote her back.

"Hi Tina! I don't have a big hard cock but I do have a rooster named Sidney and he's pretty good size! I'm not sure we can get Sidney to go inside your cunt but maybe with some peanut butter, I can get my poodle to do something.  Give me a ring!"

Of course, AARP seems to think I am old enough to join their ranks. 

Not only do they send me emails but also, at my home, the postman brings me letters and such from them as well.

"Hi! AARP wants you!"

My wifey finds this beyond funny.

I do too.

Laugh fucking riot!

Though I really did use the notecards and address labels they sent me as a 'Free gift' just for considering  joining AARP.

Thank you AARP!!

And thank you FuckBook for making me feel 'wanted by hot horny chicks' as your emails state.

Hi HotLadyWearingCrotchlessPanties! I think you have a nice ass too and maybe I do want to get together.

We can play checkers!

Good night and have a better tomorrow....

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Comments

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Hey man..... You gotta watch out for that FUCKBOOK place. I went there to meet Cynful Yung Ti-Tee and she rubbed my nip all over her body then smoked all my KY. When I asked her about some sex, she just laughed, "I only do it with guys who have an outie, not guys with a dimple." I thought that was illegal discrimination, but couldn't make a "big thing" of it, now could I?


Rated: even if it won't take.
.
sky, damn that Cynful!! SHE DID THE SAME THING TO ME!! hiss!! :D
OMG. I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time!!!!! Rated for therapeutic value alone.
Its a wonder there is no NC 17 on this blog hahaha
HUGGGGGGGGGG
Take a closer look, see how much juvederm and botox that hotty has in her, maybe she is a recruiter for the AARP.
Does this mean you have to mix your KY jelly with Geritol?
I don't like it when you guys talk about my momma like that:

Signed: Cynful Yung Ti-Tee's little kid
ps: I do have a big hard cock -- it's a statue of a guinea fowl in the back yard. It's about four feet high, so it is big.

always good for a chuckle or more
--r--
So how many people have you fuc- I mean friended - so far, on F*ckbook?
A friend signed up at age 52, and began to enjoy seventy dollar hotel rooms in NYC and two dollar museum admissions. Those sound good, and I've been reconsidering. Their magazine with Sally Fields and Nick Nolte on the cover though–no one our age needs to read that.
You missed your chance Tink. You should have told her OS needs a new Ed I Tor
E-mail can't make up its mind about me. Viagra, Cialis, incontinence (are they trying to suggest "wet dreams"?) Now if AARP were smart they'd package all this together, along with "hot older babes who aren't saggy". Just saying.
You find things online that I can't even imagine.
rated with love
Invited to Fuckbook or fucked by Facebook...

...choices, choices.
Charming.





In a jizz filled sort of way.
Deborah, you welcome!! ~:D

rwnutjob, ~nodding~ Oh my yes!! Bleach won't even get what she has off!! ~:D

Linda, my only readers who are under 17 know more about that kind of stuff than I ever will so!! ~:D

~hugs~

Michelle, that's what I said!! ~:D

Bowl, maybe!! ~:D

lefty, yes!! ~:D

owl, that's a huge cock!! ~:D

Margaret, 26,921!! What? I'm trying to catch up with you!!! :D

heron, hmmm, those sound like good stuff to sign up for!! ~:D

Jack, I wouldn't wish that position on my worse enemy!! ~:D

Walter, I know!! Good idea!! I get everything from 'Is your heater broken?' to 'Vi a gra, youse needs it cheap!!' :( :D

Erica, whoohoo!! I like x-rated!! ~:D

RP, and I don't even need to search for it, it comes to me!! ~:D

Julie, I know!! Bad email!! ~:D

Spumey, ~nodding~ :D

mrvoulezvous, ~nodding~ :D
toritto, here lately, I'm getting "INTENET EXPLORER CANNOT OPEN...." in reference to OS ads!! ~:D
You are all going to SOPA! (The ones who don't spend 2,000 years in PIPA).