I am so glad I'm not famous, well, at least not famous as in millions or hundreds if not tens of fans screaming my name or weeping when they hear of my death or proctology examine.
When a famous or once-famous person dies, it doesn't matter how they go, the media seems to make it sound creepy.
"They haven't released the autopsy yet, it has been twelve minutes and thirty seven seconds since their death, but we believe they died by sucking down a bottle of Super Glue while having sex with a, yes, we believe a transvetite hooker!!! You heard it here first!"
Hell, when I go, I'll probably have it in my will for the transvetite hooker to be in my obituary.
"Tinkerer R. Tink, madman, sexual deviant and school bus driver, was found dead today in his one room shack in the middle of Potter's Field. He was 184 years old. The Transvetite hooker, a Ms. Darlin Squeeze, said he went with a big grin on his face, and four bottles of Meth-Whiskey in each hand!
'He was smiling when I's gaves him that blowjob for seventy five cents a slurp!'
Tink's life was filled with magic, mostly PCP and his selling of meth to pre-school children he called 'Revenue'
His only friend, Imaginary, told this reporter, "....."
(Cause you see, he's imaginary, only heard by Tink, who is now dead!! God people!!!!)"
Rest in Peace Tink, rest in peace....
(Source: Your mom's closet )
(You'll note it took me a long time to die --- 870 years!! Wooo!!)
Famous people dying always makes us realize, for some odd reason, that someday we too will be hitting the ground so to speak, becoming worm food.
It's like, "OMG! They died, I could be next!"
People die all the time, young, old, not even born yet, etc. We think we're immoral or something(yes, I meant to say that!) and damn it, I am!
Immoral.
A few priests(including the Vatican) have told me so.
God love them.
But guess what, them old farts will probably be dead before me.
A few already are.
No, I didn't kill them, God did.
What?
Lightning to the groin!
What was I talking about?
Oh yeah...Whitney Houston, your music made me weep, AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU......YOOOOOOOOU.....wait, wasn't that Dolly Parton?
Ah, who cares!
Rest in Peace Whitney, I don't care how you died, but how you lived, which is possibly what killed you, so Lindsay Lohan, take note, you ain't going to live forever, so snort more cocaine!
Paris Hilton, you too.
No, wait, I mean, DON'T DO DRUGS!
Seriously, remember the life(by watching BEHIND THE MUSIC on VH1!), the good times, the times we spent dancing naked in the living room(of our girlfriend's parent's house!!!) and forget the next six months to a year that we'll have to hear about how they died.
Knock it off media! We get it, they're human!!
Sheesh!
Good night and have a better tomorrow.
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Deborah Méndez Wilson
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Comments
So we ended up with this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOd1JJvwlM
♥
Cranky, ~cry~ I found it while searching for things to do in Cleveland!! WAAAAA!! YOU GUYS WERE GOING TO BURY ME IN CLEVELAND!?!?!?!?!? :D
Harry, yes he does!! :D
How do you think they know what I'm doing!! ~:D
FusunA, ~nodding~ You get my brain!! If I have one....so far doctors cannot find it!! ~:D
The first time I read that I thought it said "spitting on it" but then that would have been too much even for Tink. ;)
XOXOXO
P.S. Please send my best regards to your lovely wife and to our lovely editor. :)
Is that where she is when we can't find her..
HUGGGGGGGG
(a tad belatedly but....... what the heck. It's the thought that counts.... right?)
Your obit neglected to mention that you served 91-1/2 terms as President of the newly named Tinkererica! A name the grateful citizens insisted upon when you brought all the troops home from everywhere and arrested all the politicians and bankers and sent them to Gitmo, without charges or trials, for an indefinite period.
The "Bammer" wailed, as they took him away, "But this isn't what I had in mind when I signed that into law!!"
;-)
.
@Diary: Cranky wrote, "Ed I Tor was going to pose sitting on it." Actually dear, he left out a letter; he meant to say "shitting." Oh no, I hope that wasn't too much for dear delicate Tink!
Shit man leave the f*kkers here so you can get away from them. Don't you know that, that's what dying is FOR?!!!!
.
Diary, done and done!! ~:D
Lea, I think Paris' family told her, you straighten up, or no money uney!! And she was like, STRAIGHTEN UP NOW!! :D
asia, crack and booze!! Sometimes meth, but only on days that end in Y!! ~:D
Myriad, If I take out Santorum with me....:D
jane, I know! Ed I Tor spared no expense!! ~:D
zuma, the link under the pic leads to the source!! It's a cool site!!! :D
Linda, ~nodding~ She has at least twenty!! ~:D
Bowl, hisses back atcha my blueberry pie!! :)
sky, I can't wait to be prez!! ~:D
Margaret, nope, just right!! ~:D
sky, I'm going to need servants in my House in the After Life, dumbasses or not, help is just hard to find down there!! ~:D
phyllis, a bus ride over a cliff! Big bus!! ~:D
cc, some have researched smoking and drying them and such, but discovered, there just ain't no cure for dumbasses!! ~:D