SEX ON OPEN.SALON: 9:14 PM --- TINY PUSSY RIDING HUGE COCK
In celebration of Salon: AFTER DARK, Tink has started his own sex column.
As everyone knows, Tink is a washed up television star who has never appeared on television, though, a few times he did pretend he was a doctor to give free breast examines!
Tink has been called a whore a few times and one time even accepted five bucks to call someone a 'nice human being' even though they weren't.
Whatever ya gotta do to make a buck!
Tink has never lied to get hits on his blog, he has stretched the truth till it was nothing but a blur of reality, but never lied!
Tink has had sex once in his life.
With his right hand.
His left felt left out.
Hahaha! Get it?
Yeah, neither do I!
My father has always said, "We don't sell sex, sex sells us!" and nothing could be truer.
The best way to prevent an unwanted pregnancy is to stay home and write fan-fiction instead of going to your girlfriend's house because her parents have left for a weekend getaway.
Don't need condoms to write a fan-fiction.
Cause baby, it's just you, a bottle of Shasta Cola, and Fanfiction.com, where your readers call you, "The next William Shatner of Fiction!"
William Shatner, the author.
Shaddup! He is too an author!
And we know you don't really have a girlfriend so you can stop pretending and just write your goddamn fan-fiction.
The people out there who seemingly shouldn't be worried about what happens in other peoples' bedrooms are the ones who worry about it the most(HI POPE!!!).
No birth control? Then how will the stupid people stop from breeding?
Gun shots to the head?
But I thought we were suppose to be pro-life?
Damn the muddy waters we find ourself drowning in!
Can't kill them and we can't prevent them from being born, what can we do?
Take aspirin and pretend we're celebate?
But I don't like molesting little boys from the choir!
Can't we just pretend we're sex addicts and do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel?
I can now only imagine the letters I will get from the Society for a Better Society with Christian Values ---
"My god, DO YOU HAVE NO LINE YOU WILL NOT CROSS!?"
Nope.
"Sex is suppose to be used for procreation!!"
And in that case, me and my wife will be burning in Hell. No kids.
Can't have kids.
Long story. Involves monkeys taking my wife's 'baby factory storage unit' away.
And maybe my sperm is bad.
But damn it, if we're not suppose to have a fun time having sex, then why the hell did God(or one of his makers of evil things to tempt us with so we can burn in Hell!) make it feel soooooooo good to fornicate?
Cause he could?
Good answer. I'll buy that for a dollar.
Really!
(No, not really!)
Next time on Open.Salon: SEX AT 2:20PM, we'll discuss oral sex, is it okay to scream, fuck you, down the hallway at your spousal unit or is this a sin too?
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Deborah Méndez Wilson
Jakiya
WorkingSlob
koshersalaami
Eljekar
Mrs Zainab Ahmed
Salon.com
Comments
Another masterwork although I wish you would work hookers and cocaine into everything, I certainly do. I suppose you have other followers and must satisfy your public. With that huge cock it should be easy.
:-) / r
HUGGGGGGGGGGG
And you're the sexy stuff for tonight, looks like. Big Salon still has an item about Putin up. Has their sexy experiment only lasted two nights? You have far more staying power than that. You can go on and on and on... I like that in a writer.
I just have taste. And you two guys: not so!
Salon's Midnight Sex is old high school stuff,
It's spewed out by kids who think it is "tuff."
I made this a rhyme, because on OS,
Non-poets are called Klansmen and SS.
heh
Tink ALWAYS needs a condom. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be if he got his right hand pregnant?!!!
;-)
.
Anthony, yeah, the hookers and cocaine will be next post!! ~:D
toritto, damn right!! I do this crap for free!! ~:D
Bellwether, NO EP!! DP!! ~:D
Larry, ~takes a bow~ :D
Noirville, I try!! ~:D
Scarlett, wasn't suppose to tell you, but your boss pays me to make my titles NSFW!! ~:D Why? Beats me!! He suggested the title to this piece!! ~:D
heron, heck, I've been having a time trying to stay up for Salon: After Hours!! :D
Night night, tuck tuck!!
Dr. Ziggy, get all the ladies!! Whoo!! ~:D
neutron, thanks! I thought it classed the place up!! :D
nana, I've been known to play with Unix, does that count?? :D
Linda, not with Nana and Drew around! They class the place up though!! Talking about Unix and Castro!! ~:D
lefty, I once wrote a letter to Penthouse, they rejected it!!! Was too long, they said!! Teeheee!! ~:D
Myriad, I just read part of their orgasm piece. Pffffft. Everyone on Open has more staying power than that!! "It took me an hour to get off!" Sheesh woman stop bragging, some of us have short attention spans!! ~:D
zuma, I think my days of EP are over, but I do have an offer in my PMs to head to Fresno for cocaine and champagne!! Woooo!! Josen Hizchen, I'm there dude!! RUB UP THE PARTY GIRLS WITH WD-40!!! :D
Myriad, did I ever tell you about the time, me, Gary Cooper, Spencer Tracey and a very drunk Marilyn Monroe had sex with JFK!! It was awesome!! :D
What?
I am so that old!! :D
Linda, I know!! He has a whole bunch of writers here at Open who will write for free!! We sluts!! ~:D
neutron, wait, we have to have taste to stay here? Welp, see ya guys later!! ~:D Lost my taste in the War of 1812!!!! :D
Coyote, pretty hot isn't it? :D
Myriad, I wish I had an 'expert' to study me!! Teehee!! ~:D Then I could be famous writer on Salon: AFTER DARK!! ~:D
Nah, just kidding, I like it here on Open!! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!! Even the ones with taste!!!
Seriously, no taste!! ~:D
Julie, just need no self respect!! ~:D (Just kidding, fan-fiction is awesome! Right now, I got Sailor Moon doing it with GIJoe and Jem!!! :D)
sky, we had some scares there!! ~:D
is it Tink?
That's fine, cocksucker, but maybe you should find someone to watch your back. Just sayin.
I never know. You should write for McCall Mag.
Call the editor. Maybe you be on the back cover.
Tink. On Rout 9- In WEst Virginia there's a hall.
It's a dance hall. Tip the gals with rolls of nickels.
Go Friday night. That's when all males can boogie.
It's wet T-shirt. Bring your wife and McCall editor.
'Gentlemen Club'
It's close to the V.A..
I was there yesterday.
`
I was not dancing at the V.A.
I've been there 3- X's this week.
My left calf has been cut up again.
It's not too serious. I hope not.
I just hate calf infections.
Once it had lots of puss.
I called it cottage cheese.
It did not stink. Honest.
I sure hate antibiotics.
I like my V.A. surgeon
`
Kerry Loves Tink too.
`
WHAT DID?
What did the carrot say to the wheat?
" 'Lettuce' rest. 'm feeling 'beet,' "
What did the paper say to the pen?
" 'I feel quite all write,' my friend."
What did the teapot say to the chalk?
Nothing you silly . . . teapots can't talk!
`
I agree with torrito etc.
Tink.
Wear a pair of groundhogs in your pants
Nana is a castrato being chased by Drew.
And Myriad is being hired by Kerry to write about eunuchs.
A lot goes on here after dark...
tee hee hee
(If not would you be willing to buy some, I got extras. Only twenty bucks. Fifty if you want the negatives.)
--r--
What???!!! No EP????? Geeeeeeeeesh
Drew, I love you, my bubble gum!! ~smooch~ ~:D
Art, groundhogs in! ~:D
Hope the ferrets don't mind the company!! ~:D Hey and when did I start wearing pants!!? GASP! ~:D
cc, Kerry has declared Sexy time over at Salon. Something like midnight till the meds kick in and he falls asleep at like 3:35 am!! ~:D
SALON: AFTER DARK!! :D
phyllis, yep, lots of stuff!! ~:D
mical, thank you kind sir!! :)
Owl, I'll leave the money in the usual spot!! ~:D
Chrissie, it sure would!! ;D
Walter, me and Ed I Tor have an agreement, as long as I write here, no EPs!! It's like a goal or something of mine!! ~:D
Erica, Google is your friend! Blogspot too!! :D
If it's a sin, I'm in deep trouble! PMS, you know?
We both know ( well you personally and I thru my staff at LOL = LLoyds of London) that when you shed fur they replace it with a cookie which traces your .............................shit out of ink.
r./
CreekEnd, we fucked then huh? :D
islandtime, ~nodding~ :D