Tinkerertink69

Tinkerertink69
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Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you? Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!! What? Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog. Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!

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Salon.com
APRIL 5, 2012 10:40AM

HAZZY BIRFDAY MICHELE BACHMANN

Rate: 21 Flag

Guess who turns 56 tomorrow(Friday the 6th!)?

If you guessed some random homeless guy, well, you're right about that too!

Yes, I think it would be nice if you bought him a cake, even if he's diabetic!

He's already lost one foot, what would one more mean!

 Rep_Michele_Bachmann_Official_Photo_WEB

Tomorrow is Michele Bachmann's birfday!

How do I know?

Do I keep a Rolodex of Politicians' Birfdays?

Nope!

Their spousal units send me an email, and Michele's hubby, Marcus, sent me one!

Dear Fellow Conservative,

That's me!!

Yes really!! I conserve sometimes, not a lot, because seriously, I have some friends in the oil industry and other places of mass production and sin and they're trying to send their kids to school.

CONSUME!!!

This Friday, April 6, is a very special day in the Bachmann household – it is Michele's 56th birthday!

247-worstHappy Birfday!!  HAPPY BIRFDAY TO YOU!! WOOO WOOO WOOO!!!!!!

56? In cat years, you'd be dead!!!

Congratulations!

(Advice to hubby: Bad luck to tell the world your wife's real age!! Should have lied and told us she was 23!!! Teehee!!!)

This past year has flown by, and Michele has spent the year working incredibly hard fighting day in and day out across this country for the conservative values we hold near and dear.

Those values:

  • Killing babies
  • Smoking Crack!

No wait, that's those damn Liberal values!!

 In addition to being the voice in Washington we always know we can count on to tell the truth, Michele has worked extremely hard as a wife, mother and conservative activist. 

THE TRUTH?

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!

Sorry, what I meant to say is.

Michele also likes to kill babies and smoke crack! Haha!

Just kidding.

HAZZY BIRFDAY!!!

I really want this birthday to be special for Michele, but I know that what would mean the most to her is if she was able to hear from you. 

I want it to be special too my friend, that's why not only did I sign the card telling her she should be the one in the front running, not that sunuvabitch Mitt Zombie!!  and said she has a nice ass but I'm writing her a special blog, on a damn Liberal website!

funny-pictures-cat-does-a-walrus-imitation

TAKE THAT LIBERAL MEDIA!!!

happy_birth_day_for_ggirlfriend_animation  

HAZZY BIRFDAY MICHELE BACHMANN!!!

Michele is facing a formidable election this year, and the Democrats would love nothing more than to see Michele be defeated. Please sign the card to show you stand with Michele, and afterwards you'll be given the opportunity to make a special donation to show Michele just how much you support her work.

Damn those Democrats!!!

With their fast cars, loose women, killing babies and smoking Crack!!

I wasn't giving the opportunity to make a "special donation" though.

Was I in the wrong line?

Hello?

Please consider making a $56 - one dollar per year, or even $112 - two dollars per year, contribution. But, if you can't afford to give that much, a gift of $10 or even $25 is greatly appreciated. Every donation received is one step closer to ensuring Michele’s campaign is victorious this fall.

Or I can give her the same advice I gave President Obama ---

DON'T EAT THE YELLOW SNOW, MOST TIME, IT'S NOT LEMON!

On behalf of the entire Bachmann family, I want to personally thank you for your continued support of Michele. It is not easy to stand up to the liberals and mainstream media who attack her and our values, but I know that your support means the world to her.

I stand up to liberals and the mainstream media every day! 

Yeah, it's tough, but damn it, I have to stand up and turn off the TV.

Still can't find the remote!

Michele and I are blessed to have your friendship.

And I am as well. 

You guys are more than friends, you're like family.

Like a sibling, a sibling I'd like to kissy kissy!

Can we kissy kissy like siblings do in Kentucky?

Hello?

Sincerely,
Marcus Bachmann

P.S. Not much time remains until Michele's birthday, and I need your help to ensure she has a great day.
Please sign the birthday card for Michele and afterwards make a donation to her campaign. Thanks, Marcus.

Sincerely,

James Xavier Randolph the Third

P.S.  You're right(HAHAHAHAHA!!) there's not much time!

HAZZY BIRFDAY MICHELE!

I hope your birfday is awesome!

With lots of cake and ice cream and the stuff that makes America great!

  • KILLING BABIES
  • SMOKING CRACK
  • GIVING HANDJOBS TO UNEMPLOYED COMPUTER OPERATORS
  • DOING LINES OF COCAINE OFF THE BELLY OF A PROSTITUTE, EVEN GENETICALLY A FEMALE PROSTITUTE NOT JUST ONE THAT GOT THE SNIP SNIP!
  • RANDOM BLOG POSTS ABOUT WISHES AND DREAMS
  • STANDARDS AND PRACTICES
  • THE BOY SCOUTS BUT NOT THAT COMMUNIST ONE THAT THEY SHOW ON TV BUT THE REAL BOY SCOUTS
  • CHEAP JEANS
  • DOLLAR STORES
  • CRAP
  • FUCKING IN THE PARK AT MIDNIGHT
  • MARRIAGE AS AN ACT OF WAR
  • AGAIN, FUCKING IN THE PARK AT MIDNIGHT
  • OVERWEIGHT POLICE OFFICERS, THERE SURE ARE A LOT OF THEM AREN'T THERE?
  • BAD PLASTIC SURGERY
  • YOUR MOM'S VAGINA!
  • COCAINE AND ICE CREAM!
  • BEN AND JERRY, SPEAKING OF...

And the list could go on!

And to celebrate, here's a video just for you Michele!

HEART: WHAT ABOUT LOVE?

~WEEP~

Yes, I could have picked

  • Cinderella's NOBODY'S FOOL
  • Pat Benatar's WE BELONG
  • Joan Jett's I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU

But I was listening to Heart's WHAT ABOUT LOVE? when I wrote this.

Damn Liberals and their questions!

Tonight in early celebration I will be drinking vodka and possibly writing blogs about your mom's vagina, I'm not sure, we'll see where the evening will bring(Wifey will be out of town for tonight and tomorrow, playing Naughty Nurse for a friend who is having her knee operated on today(I won't be going, said friend is a horrible patient, gets angry, yells a lot!! Fuck that!! :D)

Good morning and have a better afternoon!

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Comments

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Admit it!!! This post is just a ruse to trick me into installing Google Chrome!! Yes the ad popped up on the Heart video... you're not really a cat, admit it!! You're part of the worldwide internet conspiracy to track my every click of the mouse!!!
Happy Birfday, Michele! My goodness, how many facelifts or botox injections has she had? Her face looks like rubber.
Well, that's $56 I get to hold onto.
jmac, shhhhh!! My little secret!! ~evil grin~ ~:D (I already have Chrome, it's not bad!!!!!)

Erica, her face is rubber, SHE'S AN ALIEN IN HUMAN GUISE!! EEK!! ~:D
jl, ~nodding~ Me too!! Wait, I don't have $56!! ~:D
Walrus imitation and Mitt Zombie? OK, finish reading now tr ig!
Damned...I always get a laugh at your posts. There is some Vonnegut in your style. Love it.
All I know is she's hot, and her husband is gay so she ain't gettin' anything "special" from him for her birthday, so I'm sure she appreciates this fine gesture T. ~::@-@::~
Hazzy Birfday Polyethylene Michele!
No picture of Marcus?

He has the looks, she has the brains in that family.
Here is a scoop: Her maiden name was Turner and together they formed the group Bachmann Turner Overdrive. She was the one with the beard. Their big hit was "Takin Care of Business." Some things never change. I love his pretzels though. R
You're one sweet pussycat to remember Michelle's conception day in such a charming manner. (Did I really type that?)
Tink,

I don't have fifty-six cents, and even if I did, I wouldn't give it to her. :)

Whenever I read your political commentary, I always feel better about four more years and that it's nearly a done deal.

Thank you for that. It helps me sleep much better at night.

XOXOXO

P.S. Please send my best regards to your lovely wife, and I'm glad to hear that she's storing them up. :)
Hopefully, she'll get a job where she is paid in dollar bills folded once lengthwise.
I love killing babies and smoking crack while eating birthday cake! Sorry Michele, if I had $56, I'd save it for my bail. Hey, this can be my Open Call petty crime -- I killed babies and smoked crack with Michele Bachman while eating birthday cake.
You left out slow servers and freewheeling spammers from the list. Can't have birthday without them.
Michele Bachman -- I hear that when Snookie retires from JERSEY SHORE, they're looking for Michele as a replacement. Think of the eyeballs she'll bring. I heard that Dancing With the Stars was already taken by Mitch McConnell.
OMG! Why do I click your links? It really was a birthday card for that horrid woman. I feel great empathy for those who share that birthday with her, not everyone with that birthday is a heinous blowpig. Except of course my arrogant ex-boyfriend with the skanky racist daughter in law. Maybe they would like to sign the card?

Have you tasted some yellow snow that was lemon?
Sheesh!

You wishing her a "HAZZY BIRFDAY" is giving me a "HAZY BARFDAY"........;-)

.
"Michele and I are blessed to have your friendship." If they could read this they would know just how truly blessed they are!
Not to worry Harry.
I put the link to this post in the message box, when I signed Michele's birthday card.
Jon Stewart just did a joke about the Bachmann letter. But I read it here first.
Orange, ~;D

trig, oh my yes!! :D

Maureen, I've been told that! :)

trig, and I masturbated to her picture today as a birthday gift....yes....to her...;D

asia, AND MANY MORE!! :D

Larry, maybe next post I'll do a MARCUS BACHMANN, THIS IS YOUR LIFE!! :D

Gerald, ~nodding~ I LOVED THEM!!! Damn, things sure changed for her since then!! ~:D

Matt, you sure did!! ~:D

Diary, I had twenty dollars but I bought two Pepsis and a Styx CD, and the rest of the money is going to Save the Wombats!! Maybe next time!! ~":D

Walter, we can only dream!! I hear Sid's Nudie Bar and Bait Shop is hiring!! :D

Zuma, that's exactly what Michele responded to me!! :D

Stim, ooooo!! Good un!! ~:D That get EP for sure!! ;D

Trudge, no we cannot!!! HAZZY BIRFDAY MARY LIN!! :D

lefty, ~nodding~ Mitch has the legs!! :D

Bleue, I signed the card!! And seriously, I said she had a nice butt, nicer than Mitt Romney's!! ~:D

(I snorted the lemon!! :D)

sky, doing my part to help ya get rid of them furballs!! ~:D

Harry, I think with Larry's help, they will!!! ~:D (Damn it, I should have put a statcounter on this sucker!! ~:D)

jl, YAY!!!!! I beat Jon Stewart. Well, not literally, he'd have to pay extra for that!! ~:D

Kate, ~nodding~ The police have already flown a helicopter over me as I walked to the store for sodas and a Styx CD I got for 4 bucks!!!

True story!! ~:D

And yeah, Minnesota is a tough state, I hear a lot of folks can't stand her!!

Michele, you come to Indiana, there's no God here so you can bring some!! ~:D
Joan Jett would have been a good choice! So, tell us again why it is you get personal emails from Marcus Bachmann........ What else does he write to you? Hmmmm? hehehe
Painting, a good political groupie never tells their secrets, but let me just say, I ROCKED HIS WORLD ALLLLLLL NIGHT LONG!! What? ;D