Guess who turns 56 tomorrow(Friday the 6th!)?
If you guessed some random homeless guy, well, you're right about that too!
Yes, I think it would be nice if you bought him a cake, even if he's diabetic!
He's already lost one foot, what would one more mean!
Tomorrow is Michele Bachmann's birfday!
How do I know?
Do I keep a Rolodex of Politicians' Birfdays?
Their spousal units send me an email, and Michele's hubby, Marcus, sent me one!
Dear Fellow Conservative,
Yes really!! I conserve sometimes, not a lot, because seriously, I have some friends in the oil industry and other places of mass production and sin and they're trying to send their kids to school.
This Friday, April 6, is a very special day in the Bachmann household – it is Michele's 56th birthday!
Happy Birfday!! HAPPY BIRFDAY TO YOU!! WOOO WOOO WOOO!!!!!!
56? In cat years, you'd be dead!!!
(Advice to hubby: Bad luck to tell the world your wife's real age!! Should have lied and told us she was 23!!! Teehee!!!)
This past year has flown by, and Michele has spent the year working incredibly hard fighting day in and day out across this country for the conservative values we hold near and dear.
- Killing babies
- Smoking Crack!
No wait, that's those damn Liberal values!!
In addition to being the voice in Washington we always know we can count on to tell the truth, Michele has worked extremely hard as a wife, mother and conservative activist.
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!
Sorry, what I meant to say is.
Michele also likes to kill babies and smoke crack! Haha!
I really want this birthday to be special for Michele, but I know that what would mean the most to her is if she was able to hear from you.
I want it to be special too my friend, that's why not only did I sign the card telling her she should be the one in the front running, not that sunuvabitch Mitt Zombie!! and said she has a nice ass but I'm writing her a special blog, on a damn Liberal website!
TAKE THAT LIBERAL MEDIA!!!
HAZZY BIRFDAY MICHELE BACHMANN!!!
Michele is facing a formidable election this year, and the Democrats would love nothing more than to see Michele be defeated. Please sign the card to show you stand with Michele, and afterwards you'll be given the opportunity to make a special donation to show Michele just how much you support her work.
Damn those Democrats!!!
With their fast cars, loose women, killing babies and smoking Crack!!
I wasn't giving the opportunity to make a "special donation" though.
Was I in the wrong line?
Please consider making a $56 - one dollar per year, or even $112 - two dollars per year, contribution. But, if you can't afford to give that much, a gift of $10 or even $25 is greatly appreciated. Every donation received is one step closer to ensuring Michele’s campaign is victorious this fall.
Or I can give her the same advice I gave President Obama ---
DON'T EAT THE YELLOW SNOW, MOST TIME, IT'S NOT LEMON!
On behalf of the entire Bachmann family, I want to personally thank you for your continued support of Michele. It is not easy to stand up to the liberals and mainstream media who attack her and our values, but I know that your support means the world to her.
I stand up to liberals and the mainstream media every day!
Yeah, it's tough, but damn it, I have to stand up and turn off the TV.
Still can't find the remote!
Michele and I are blessed to have your friendship.
And I am as well.
You guys are more than friends, you're like family.
Like a sibling, a sibling I'd like to kissy kissy!
Can we kissy kissy like siblings do in Kentucky?
P.S. Not much time remains until Michele's birthday, and I need your help to ensure she has a great day. Please sign the birthday card for Michele and afterwards make a donation to her campaign. Thanks, Marcus.
James Xavier Randolph the Third
P.S. You're right(HAHAHAHAHA!!) there's not much time!
HAZZY BIRFDAY MICHELE!
I hope your birfday is awesome!
With lots of cake and ice cream and the stuff that makes America great!
- KILLING BABIES
- SMOKING CRACK
- GIVING HANDJOBS TO UNEMPLOYED COMPUTER OPERATORS
- DOING LINES OF COCAINE OFF THE BELLY OF A PROSTITUTE, EVEN GENETICALLY A FEMALE PROSTITUTE NOT JUST ONE THAT GOT THE SNIP SNIP!
- RANDOM BLOG POSTS ABOUT WISHES AND DREAMS
- STANDARDS AND PRACTICES
- THE BOY SCOUTS BUT NOT THAT COMMUNIST ONE THAT THEY SHOW ON TV BUT THE REAL BOY SCOUTS
- CHEAP JEANS
- DOLLAR STORES
- FUCKING IN THE PARK AT MIDNIGHT
- MARRIAGE AS AN ACT OF WAR
- AGAIN, FUCKING IN THE PARK AT MIDNIGHT
- OVERWEIGHT POLICE OFFICERS, THERE SURE ARE A LOT OF THEM AREN'T THERE?
- BAD PLASTIC SURGERY
- YOUR MOM'S VAGINA!
- COCAINE AND ICE CREAM!
- BEN AND JERRY, SPEAKING OF...
And the list could go on!
And to celebrate, here's a video just for you Michele!
HEART: WHAT ABOUT LOVE?
Yes, I could have picked
- Cinderella's NOBODY'S FOOL
- Pat Benatar's WE BELONG
- Joan Jett's I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU
But I was listening to Heart's WHAT ABOUT LOVE? when I wrote this.
Damn Liberals and their questions!
Tonight in early celebration I will be drinking vodka and possibly writing blogs about your mom's vagina, I'm not sure, we'll see where the evening will bring(Wifey will be out of town for tonight and tomorrow, playing Naughty Nurse for a friend who is having her knee operated on today(I won't be going, said friend is a horrible patient, gets angry, yells a lot!! Fuck that!! :D)
Good morning and have a better afternoon!