Tinkerertink69

Tinkerertink69
Location
Your closet, Indiana, France
Birthday
July 16
Title
President and CEO of Your Mom
Company
Your closet
Bio
Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you? Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!! What? Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog. Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!

Tinkerertink69's Links

Salon.com
APRIL 13, 2012 9:15PM

MOMMY WAR: TLC'S NEWEST SHOW?

Rate: 15 Flag

I've been off media for a bit, so the whole 'Mommy War' blew right past me without a notice.

5 "Tink? I know that name, he's that asshole blogger who writes shit about nothing in particular! HE SHOULD KNOW ME!! I DATED HIS HAIR STYLIST BACK IN 1993!"

Ann Romney wasn't even a name on my 'Things I should know about...' until Mommygate happened.

I didn't know Hilary Rosen from Norm Crawford.

I was happy.

Or so I thought.

I began to think.  "Tink, you'll never be a mother, to know the love a child, to give care, etc. etc. etc."

I knew the hatred of a child, to have one stand there and tell me to fuck off and the feeling of my hand smacking their ass and telling them to go to their room.

"You don't know what it's like to be young Unca Tink! YOU WERE NEVER MY AGE!!" the child from Hell screamed as she stomped down the hallway to her room.

Ah, the freedom of being able to say, "Not my child!" as you hand them back to their parents who got like two days away from the demon spawn!

Good days! Now said child is a mother of 3 of her very own and being caused headaches galore by them now.

Pay back is bitch.

According to some website, Mommies should be getting around $112,000 per year in salary.

A computer monkey should be getting $12.37/lifetime but all the Doom they can play for life.

Some mommies I've met in my lifetime should have crossed their legs when daddies came around looking for a place to put their penis.

Some should be giving the Nobel Peace Prize for the numerous wars they contained between brothers and sisters on a daily basis and having to put up with Barney or the Tribles or whatever the hell those furry purple things on Nick JR. are called with that one girl in the purple dress.

"Lets sing a happy song!"

Lets not and pretend we did! FaLaLafuckinLA!!!

I remember the niece and nephew(nephew being the youngest and is now an oversized assmunch now!! WHERE DOES THE TIME GO? Who cares!! They have kids of their own, and keep asking me, "Can we give them back, we want our freedom back!!!" My reply: YOU CAN'T!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!) screaming and crying "We want Barney!" and uncle Tink screaming back, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! WEATHER CHANNEL LADY ON!!!! YOU GOT A TV IN YOUR ROOM!!!"

Yes, I would have made a wonderful parent, thanks for noticing.

My mom was a workie mom. 

My dad was a workie dad. 

To this day, my mom wishes she could have been a stay-at-home mom and I tell her, "Nah, I'm glad you worked, meant I could do more dope!"

"What?"

"Hahaha, I kid!"

I was a good boy.  I think I had maybe two girls over in my time as a latch key kid.

And I had to let them go, kept screaming.

So here I am, a grown up, and I'm pleasantly dumb about most things.

Do I care that Ann Romney was 'miffed' at some Democratic Strategist comments?

Probably not.

Did I even know the Democrats HAD strategist?

I did actually.

The Republicans do too.

What do they do?

Make pie charts and graphs and say stuff like 'We have a new strategic plan!' and then hang up.

I'm just guessing on that. 

I talked to President Bill Clinton's campaign manager back in 1996.  He yelled at me cause I didn't answer the phone at the Democratic Headquarters in Butte correctly.

"Who's paying for this line?"

THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA!

By the way, that's the incorrect answer.

It should be, "THE ALIENS!"

But again, water under the bridge.

I know the governmet is sure interested in what we the People are doing online. 

They keep trying to pass bills so they and the military can snoop more easily into our online lives let alone are realworld lives.

I think they want to find more free porn and to these people, I have this handy guide to discovering more free porn than you know what to do with.

  1. Go to Google(images are fine if you want just the pictures!)
  2. Type in: French Silk Pie
  3. Enjoy!

To the mommies of the country, I have some advice for you too!

  1. Demand that daddy start paying. $112,000 is a lot of money a year just to let sit in daddy's wallet!
  2. If daddy can't pay, well, time to find a new daddy. Who runs the household really? MOMMY DOES!
  3. If daddy thinks he runs the house, hahahahahaha!! FOOL!!!
  4. Don't home school the kids. My friend does her 7 kids and she looks like she's 87 years old when she's younger than me!  School time is time for Mommy to relax and diddle the pool boy.
  5. Someday, get a pool. Daddy might be getting suspicious about the pool boy!

Good night and have a better tomorrow!

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Comments

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Psycho naughty cat!!! Have you no shame? Lying to your Mom about not smoking dope when you were a latch key kitten!!! The delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol obviously fried your brain and turned you into yet another commie, pinko hippie OS blogger!
Laughing my gluteus maximus off. I won't comment on the mommy stuff as I promised myself I would never say anything political on this site, too many haters. But, FREE PORN, that I can comment on.

I accidentally, errm, typed in redtube instead of youtube. Actually, I think my brain froze and thought red instead of you because there is no possible way you can accidentally type red in the place of you by miss-keying on the keyboard. Anyway, I have been blissfully happy ever since.

I sure hope the government doesn't take my children away.
There are so many things I could say here. Unfortunately, they'd all be sick, wrong, and morally impure.
Can I have a cabannis boy if I don't have a cabana? I have a pool but it's not blown up and filled with water...
stay at home dads
that is what the world needs more of
i am so happy to see this post!!

mostly because i know that when Tink picks up a popular topic in order to mock it, its a sign that its 'bout done... and this mommy war crap has lived long enough.

*sings happy song*
I did not know it was easy as french silk pie!
.........(¯`v´¯) (¯`v´¯)
☼•*¨`*•.¸.(ˆ◡ˆ).¸.•*
............... *•.¸.•* ♥⋆★•❥ Thanx & Smiles (ツ) & ♥ L☼√Ξ ☼ ♥
⋆───★•❥ ☼ .¸¸.•*`*•.♥ (ˆ◡ˆ) ♥⋯ ❤ ⋯ ★(ˆ◡ˆ) ♥⋯ ❤ ⋯ ★
You planning to take out Barney with that gun?
I is laughing my gluteus maximus off too! An' if youse keeps on this way I'll laugh my ass off as well!

$112,000 per huh? Fantastic! I can quit my job and let her support us in the style to which I'd like to become accustomed. I just have one teensy-weensy question: Who the Fʉɸœ!@ɚ! is gonna pay her!!?

I'd rather be a cat........ (̃ᴥᴼ)

.
jmac, damn right!!! I'M A COMMIE!!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL ANYWAYS!! Why? Blogging is a sin!! ~:D

Rennis, RedTube is the best!! :D The gubermint took my babies away!! Or I didn't have any in the first place!! :D

lefty, wait, isn't that your motto?? :D

phyllis, you can pretend you have a cabana and therefore, you can haz three cabana boys for the price of 1!! :D

Julie, ~nodding~ There's a few out there(if I had kids, I could declare myself a stay home dad!! hahahahaha!! ~:D)

lorianne, exactly!! ~:D

Algis, mmmmhmmmm!! ~:D

V, ~nodding~ ~:D

sky, I'm not sure who's paying her, maybe the Mommy Union!! :D
Tink,
The Mommy Union?

(*Wanders off to the pool singing, "Solidarity Forever"!!*)

;-)
.
sky, ~nodding~ Yep, MU!!! :D
war-weary here. i lost track. how many wars are being waged right now, anyway? waged? is that the right word? I'm so tired I can't think of the right words to write...
AJ, I'm not sure, a bunch I guess!! ~:D
Well Tink, the gummint lubs us bloggers one and all. I am so glad you see that too!!
The gummint lubs war all the time!! Yes indeedy, they lubs war 24/7 in as many places as they can start them...
And bloggers are a prime target!!
Dangerous, we bloggers are...Porn is always a target...

wanders off to feed my cat breakfast...
And if works it with the pool boy and uploas to one if those sites, mommy could be making one half million easily. Daddy won't even care.
Mission, ~nodding~ Gubermint lubs us soooo much our butts bleed!! What? I don't know!! ~:D

Trudge, ~nodding~ OOOOOO YEA!! :D
Tink,

I don't think we tell you this enough. You are very wise.

XOXOXO

P.S. Please send my best regards to your lovely wife.
I left my babies alone so they could learn to fend for themselves. Just the other day I reminded my 18 year old how my lack being there made him so much more self sufficient, and he now knows how to cook and clean and will make some little woman a very nice house pet some day.
ummmmm, I want to get one of those French Silk Pies and then take it into the bedroom, get undressed and....
Oh crap, that's just a downright nasty thought. I don't believe that I actually "googled" that image. Never trust a Tink to give you advice on how to google porn.
Your mother should kick you little butt--except you'd like it.
How come you posted this on Saturday? It's Ed I Tor's day off and you can't get your long anticipated EP.
the mommy war only caught my attention, tt69,
after it was over, and my own Mother won it, hands down.
"These women today, all they think about is sex sex sex!"
I used to argue with her, but then she died,
and became an annoying angel whispering in my head.

"this romney woman, she is much too brash.
this other lady, the brown one, mrs. obama?
she is a proper lady. telling kids to eat right.
she may be black, as they say, but she is one of the 'good ones'."

"MOM, you are a racist? still? even tho u are dead?"

"oh shush. there are good whites and good blacks and good yellows and greens too. i raised u to be good. so far, the verdict isnt in, young man."

"mom, what about my own dope smoking? remember when u found the baggie, behind the Encyclopedia Brittanica?"

"yes. "

"so why didnt u flush it? and how the hell did u find it, anyway?"

"a mother knows..."

"knows what, exactly?"

"EVERYTHING, and you better remember that!"

"ok. so why didnt u flush it, the pot?"

"i was hoping u would."

"i smoked it."

"i know."

"wasnt very good, gotta say."

"yes well at least it got u out of the house, and back with your friends. and the music you played was nice."

"you are not the traditional kinda mom, mom"

"no, i am not. "

"are u ever gonna get out of my head?"

" just as soon as you become a man, young man!"
Tink, you hilarious naughty kitty, you made me laugh out loud!. I am proud mommy of 5 cats. My sister has 5 kids. She is trying to give some to me now, but I will only share. She doesn't get a salary, but she does have a pool..... hmmm suspicious!