Today, after a long nap after watching a movie called Suicide Room(I'll blog some other time about that, what I learned from watching that is THE INTERNET IS EVIL!! But I still lovez it!!), I jumped online.
There in my Internet Provider's browser window was ASK THE DOCTOR question, one of those relationships are the best when two people are involved, any more then 13 and someone's feelings are going to get hurt.
The asker wasn't sure if he was "in love" with the woman he had been dating for the past seven months and wanted to know if he should tell her.
Robert was in a jam.
He didn't want to stay in the relationship if it wasn't real, but he didn't want to lose her either, in case that was his only option for love, his true soul mate(the spirit kind, not the fish or shoe kind!!!!).
Dr. Susan replied that he needed to be honest with her, that he shouldn't tell her that he loved her if in fact he didn't.
Course, Robert's girlfriend is at the "Want to spend forever with you..."
People, forever is an awfully long time to be with one person.
Don't say that.
Dr. Susan lastly told Robert:
Tell her you love being with her, but need more time before you can be absolutely certain. She may be hurt, and she may want reassurance that you're not seeing other women. Just don't make the mistake of giving her a list of reasons you're not sure she's perfect enough for you. She'd never forget them.
Don't ever tell a woman you love being with her, but need more time before you can be absolutely certain.
She'll keep that talk in her memory banks till one day, 50 years down the road, she'll explode and kill you in your sleep.
And no matter what you say after the 'Need more time' she's going to believe beyond a reasonable doubt you're seeing other women.
So you might as well give her the list of reasons you're not sure she's perfect enough(Note to Robert: HAHAH!! She's not perfect enough for you? Look what she's settling for!!!! Dumb ass, love that lady, love her with all your heart!! You ain't going to do better!!!!).
- Your nose
- Your hair
- That growth on your back
- Your mouth
- The way you pronounce 'Surely'
- Who the hell says 'Surely' any more?
- Your parents
- Your Aunt Tillie
- Your friends
- You are pyschotic. Leaving a dead bunny on my door step with a note that reads , 'unlike this bunny, my love for you will never die!'
- Killing my dog and leaving its carcass on the front seat of my car with a not that reads, 'unlike this dog, my love for you will never die!'
- Leaving notes to me at work saying, 'if you ever leave me, I'll kill you, your friends, your coworkers, your entire family including your step family...'
- That look in your eyes when I try to talk to you about maybe I'm not sure if I'm in love with you, especially when you're holding a gun...
The list could go on forever.
I wouldn't want to be a therapist, I'm pretty sure I messed up my nieces and nephew in their 'growing up' phase, I'd hate to think what my advice would do to strangers.
"Robert, can I call you Robbie the Pink Fairy, like your friends do on Facebook?"
"How do you know what my friends call me on Facebook?"
"I'm a therapist PissPants69! I'm suppose to know these things!!"
"Wait, how do you know my handle at Adult Friend Finders!?"
"I'm a therapist! Now, let us begin...I really think you should tell your girl friend you'rea closet homosexual!"
"There is nothing wrong with fingering a man's butt hole while you're dressed up as Marilyn Monroe!"
"I DID THAT IN COLLEGE!! I was experimenting...."
"Yes, yes, experimenting....sure....."
Yeah, I probably should steer clear of the Therapist career route, no matter what the ads on Hotmail tell me.
Good night and have a better tomorrow.