SCAM, SPAM: ARE PEOPLE REALLY THAT FUCKIN' STUPID TO FALL FOR THAT?
Mrs Zainab Ahmed and all the rest gather in the hopes that they will find the few who, I'm afraid to say, are that fuckin' stupid to fall for their lies of 1o million dollars or whatever (do you know how much that is in the currency of Abalahanapakistan? A lot of goat dung (the local currency) that's for sure!)
One of my Pop-in-Law's cyberbuddies apparently was one of those folks that the Scammers pray will come their ways.
He lost over $8,000 to someone.
$8,000 in Abalahanapakistan is like a lifetime(12 years and maybe some change according to their emails! It's tough to be a dictator or Minister of Whatchit these days!) in wages for them.
And it's no chump change here in the States(of Confusion).
I've had a few of my friends send me these emails asking, "Is this legit? COULD I BE RICH?"
Course you all know my answer to that, "Yes, yes! Someone you've never heard of or sent even a hello to is going to send you $10,000,000,000,000,000 and all you have to do is send like $2,000 to get the bank to transfer to ya!! HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU, YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SMILE AND YOU'RE MY BEST BEST BEST BUDDY EVER AND FOREVER!? IT'S TRUE!!!"
Now those friends aren't really 'That Fuckin' Stupid' but just a little dumb around the edges!
These scammers' schemes work off the basic defense-breakers of the human kind:
That's a lot of cash they're offering for just a small investment. Of course, try asking them to take out the 'small investment' and send the rest should break this as they will say, "We can't!" but again, a lot of people love money just that much to say, "For only this much, I'll get THIS much!"
Of course, all they'll get is an empty wallet or purse.
- LOVE - ROMANCE - LUST IN THE LOINS
"I love you" can break even the strongest defender's shield.
Most of us want to be loved, love, get our rocks off in somebody's nose, etc. etc. etc.
Love scams have been around since time itself (Possibly as far back as 1952!)
Two single-cell organisms floating around in the ooze of pre-dawn.
"I love you! Send me a cell!" one organism says to the other.
Just watch TV for a few hours and you'll notice a buttload (hahahahaha) of commercials for eHarmony, Match, sex phone lines and all the rest.
There's money to be made in love and those who want it.
"I'm so lonely! Look, somebody says they want to meet me!"
And so begins the chase.
Soon, this person will send them $8,000 in the hope that love will come their way.
It will, it'll be gone as soon as you run out of money.
HOLD ON TO THE FEELING!!
Or just go to Loveme.com and look at the pictures of the women there (I like the Russian ladies!! But they got 'em from all over the world! And yes, if you want to, you can get your own mail order bride!! Bit of advice: Pay the extra 10 bucks for holes in the box! My last order came out badly!!! READ: DEAD BRIDE! Apparently brides need air! Can't hold their breath for 6 to 10 weeks...)
My Pop-in-Law has gotten a few in his own 'Adventures of Messin' with Scammers'
Most people will give someone down on their luck some help: a few bucks here, a phone card to call their granny, etc. etc. etc.
The scammers know this and will work it to their advantage in getting the cash.
"I haven't eaten in years. Can you help me?"
"Ahhh...I've been there!"
"Will you send it Western Union. I could use the money today!"
"Oh yes, I understand!"
Pop-in-Law once had, I kid you not, one ask him for a refrigerator.
Try sending that Western Union.
Most just try to get the target to send cash, phone cards, their first born, you know, things that can be easily sold off for an increase in profits.
- FEAR OF LOSING ONE'S LIFE
I've actually received the death threats.
The first one was like, WHAT THE HELL? EEK!
They start out with the lines, "Someone you know has put a contract out on you. Do not call the police, I can see you! I HAVE THE CONTRACT!!!"
Who wouldn't be scared!
Apparently me, as I told them, go on and shoot me, I'm willing to die now, my life sucks!
Apparently my friends got the worst hitman EVER!
"You say that now! But you are not willing to die! PAY ME!!" they wrote back to my response.
"No, just go ahead and get it over with!"
"BUT...BUT...ARE YOU NOT AFRAID?"
I shook my head no and they wandered off into traffic never to be heard from again.
Sad but true!
I still think Joan Walsh tried to have me whacked.
WHY DO THE SPAMMERS SPAM SO MUCH FOR?
The simple answer: BECAUSE THEY CAN!
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to signup for an account on Open?
You don't even have to have a real email address(they did fix it where you have to enter something resembling an email address like FUCKYOU@EATMYBUNGHOLE.COM but still....) to post 'LIVE FEED FRIDAYS ON THURSDAY: JACKING A POLAR BEAR OFF VS. A DEAD MONKEY BEING GANG BANG BY A BOY BAND!!!' or to be a comment spammer.
I HATE the comment spammers.
No easy way to report them.
And they just are rude, mostly stealing their words from others and adding a link to their crap website at the end.
DIE COMMENT SPAMMERS!!!!!
There's the Captcha at the beginning but anyone with access to Google or Black Hat Marketing websites can discover, THOSE CAN BE BEAT!!!!
BUT WHY? NOBODY COULD BE THAT FUCKING STUPID TO CLICK ON THEIR LINKS!!!
1. YES, YES THEY COULD
2. They're not looking for just the insiders of the site but the Google-Search Engine Monkeys looking for pirated versions of Glee, make their penis really big, make money fast, etc. etc. etc.
People are dumb.
It's like this, you want fish.
You are on the ocean in your sail boat.
You have no fishing pole, no bait, but apparently, you brought a huge net.
HOW YOU GOING TO CATCH THOSE STUPID FISH?
"Throw the net out and hope there's some stupid fish who will swim right into the thing so I can eats them?"
Cast your net, get the fish, repeat the process!
"Is it really that simple?"
YES! YES! YES IT IS!! YOU CAN MAKE MONEY FAST!
A lot of people are looking for the deal, free movies, video games, penis pills, whatever, and they want it NOW!!!!!!!
There are some spammers who just want the hits, to increase the 'Links' to their site, trying to make Google think "This must be a legit site, it has many people talking about how wonderful it is!"
Course, Google changes it's Seek-and-Catalog function/formula but like most things, the Spammer learns to adapt and continues receiving those high standings in the search results.
TO CATCH MORE FISH!!
Which they can sell to the Russian mail order brides!
"And what do they do with them?"
"Sell them to the Nigerians who gives them to Reverend Father who eats them!"
SO WHY DO YOU FUCK WITH THE SCAMMERS AND SPAMMERS SO MUCH?
Cause they have such tasty fish!
And also to keep them busy and away from the legit targets just that much longer!
Also, it's fun!
Try it some time(I recommend creating a Crap account, used for nothing but trapping Scammers! I use Hotmail. I believe though, Ed Fartes may be on a DO NOT CONTACT list for his actions or in-actions as he hasn't received too many '1st contact' in quite some time!! OH WELL!! :D)
Remember, if it sounds too good to be true, IT MUST BE YOUR LUCKY DAY!!! GO ON AND SEND THEM THAT MONEY, WOULD THEY LIE TO YOU?
OF COURSE NOT!
Good night and have a better tomorrow...
THIS POST WAS INSPIRED MOSTLY BY MRS. ZAINAB AHMED'S PLEAS IN PMs TO MANY PEOPLE ON OPEN.
For some reason, she did not send me one but, if you want to see who she sent the plea to, check out her favorites at http://open.salon.com/blog/zainb
Our Ranch Man at Work --- Torman ala David McClain among many others sent me the PM thinking she misaddressed it.
I contacted Mrs. Ahmed and she stated, "I am sorry Tink, you are on a no-contact list by the Reverend Father, you are an evil cat, you tease us with photos of nude women fingering their buttholes instead of Western Union Cash Receipt!!! BAD EVIL CAT!!!"
Here is a picture of my inspiration:
Is some Hollywood star preparing for her next role?
And her bio, ripped straight from her Open profile for future generations on how to write a bio!I'm a 41 year old woman with one kids who lives in Libya I am a nice woman, honest and caring person with a good sense of humor. I love meeting new people and their lifestyle. I like the new parts of the world, the tranquility of the sea, beautiful mountains and life has to offer. I love movies, reading books, listening to music, see the tears of God in the rain, dance, cooking .. but I can't be as comfortable as at home .
I know it was probably ripped straight from Loveme.com's bio section of some Russian girl(with the deletion of "Family and being a good wife to my adoring hubby" as that would just sound silly!!!) but who cares, she loves meeting new lifestyles!