Earlier today, I was sitting here on my butt wondering about things, talking to people on the Magic Box(you call it a TV! And yes, the docs should up my meds!! Rachel Maddow is speaking to me from beyond the screen!! YES, I WILL FLAP MY ARMS AND CLUCK LIKE KATHIE LEE GIFFORD!!!)

Some of the ideas were like, JESUS H. CHRIST, WHY DIDN'T THE POPE THINK ABOUT THAT?

And others were JESUS H. CHRIST, WHO FARTED!?

• ED I TOR, COVERS AND IS THERE A CAPTAIN ON THIS VESSEL HEADING TOWARDS THAT ICEBERG

As we all know, Emily aka Ed I Tor who lasted a fairly long time has ran off to Paris with some fellow from Iowa in the pursuit of headless squirrels to coo into their still warm lifeless ears and maybe, just maybe, write a book about it.

Where does this leave us?

The same place we've always been : Lost on a reality TV show without a  Puck!

I'm more of a Richard trying to break up alliances on the Island.  But a reality TV show needs a Puck.  Or a Putz. 

From what I can see, we have a part time gazer at the helm of this Edsel in the Atlantic heading towards the iceberg.

I don't even know if they are part time but more like, "Hey look, the terminal to Open is unlocked..."

Basically whomever is done writing their piece for Salon.Media TV Channel 108 can slide into the chair and play Space War while doing Picks and Cover.

"Remember, if you finish off the bottle of gin, replace it!! BE KIND!"

I imagine Kerry as this grand wizard in a pointy hat and shoes and not much else pointing his wand and balls at the next suc...I mean...Ed I Tor.

"You're it!"

And that suc...I mean....Ed I Tor has a week in the barrel!

I always thought The Cover was pretty awesome when it was dynamic, changing on a day by day basis even, giving it a "Hey someone is here!" look and allowing more to be shown on the Cover.

Right now, some posts are staying up for WEEKS!

Don't get me wrong, I love a good Cannibal Bob Dylan story just like the next guy but after awhile, I want to rip down General's picture and deface it with a beard and fairy wings!

Static is bad. It makes the Spammers and such think nobody is home and the house is ripe for stealing.

Well, it might be!

I don't know.

Yes, it is time for my meds!

I have tried to get someone from Salon.Com or Well.com to come on my blog and announce what is going on but well, apparently Kerry is too busy with frisbee golf to reply and Gail is busy with interviewing aliens who have been abducted by U.S. government officials but she did give me, TINK, I WILL RESPOND LATER which is Code for TINK, GO BLOG ABOUT ALIEN FRISBEE GOLF TOURNAMENTS IN KERRY'S BACK YARD!

I also thought about the Open Calls.

Again, we're back to static maybe once a month if not less Open Calls.

One of the things I love about certain sites (HI ZOOMERS!) is their weekly challenges.

An idea or word is thrown out and you, the writer.shitty blogger must take said idea or word and run with it, posting before a certain time to be considered as an entry into the challenge.

It makes it fun to blog and a challenge cause some of them are like, "I have no idea!"

I know we only have a part time Ed I Tor but even this would be fairly easy to institute with the current technology of Open(and it's basically free!!! TAG YOUR POSTS 'DONKEY DICKS' TO BE CONSIDERED AND BE POSTED BY 1:45PM EDT TUESDAY!!!) 

Heck, the template could be created within minutes with some additions of the weekly call added.

10 minutes top!!

I have a feeling that a weekly Staff meeting at Salon could come up with 100s of ideas!

A 100 weeks right there! And all Skippy would have to do is search for DONKEY DICKS or whatever the topic was that week and bam.

Yes, yes, if it was really that easy, the monkeys running the servers would have already thought it up!

I know, bad tink!!!!

• UPDATE ABOUT TINK AND MRS. Z FROM LIBYA!

Many of you know that I was in the start of an open relationship with a house wife from Libya.

Some sad news. 

I have received some bad news from Libyan Intelligence that Mrs. Z's plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan. 

There were no survivors.

**WEEP** In rememberance, here is our communications since the first day I sent her a PM!

I am feeling sad, you do not send me message to my PM!!

But it is okay, I add you as favorite anyways!!

HI!!!!

Love, your new bestest best friend,

Tink

Dear Tink,

Thank you very much for replying to my email and add me as your friend ,but please i need your help as my foreign beneficiary who we stand in contact the bank for the transfer of the funds to your account because my later husband have any agreement with the bank before he die, that if any thing happen to him the bank should ask me for a beneficiary that we send in transfer the funds to his account and invest it for a good business , i promise to give you 40% at of the funds Dear Belina that is why i am contact you to be my beneficiary upon your reply i we send to you the bank contact information , but 1st please file the below information and send back to me .

(1) Your Full Names

(2) Your Contact Address

(3) Your Contact Telephone number

(4) Your Age And What you Do For A Living.

I hope to hear from you as soon as possible.

Sincerely Yours,

Mrs Zainab Ahmed.

I no can help till you send me picture of you holding a sign that reads, HELLO, THIS IS ME, I LIKE FARTES! to the following email address where we can discuss further, upon receipt of said picture...

Please send said photo to : HOCHI69@HOTMAIL.COM

My name is Ed Fartes.

Thank you,

Your friend in Jesus,

Ed

Dear Tink,

Good Day thank you so much for replying to my email what i need from you is to stand for me in contact the bank upon your reply i we send you the bank contact info for you to contact them as my beneficiary  for the transferring of the funds to you file below info and send back to me .

I hope to hear from you as soon as possible Dear Tink. what kind of picture are you talking bout.

Thanks.

Mrs Zainab Ahmed

Thanks.

Again, before I can communicate with you further into the aforementioned standing for you, I need for you to take a picture(digital) of you holding a sign that reads HELLO, THIS IS ME, I LIKE FARTES that you will send to my email address at hochi69@hotmail.com.

Please make sure to subject the email as THIS IS ZAINAB AND HERE IS MY PICTURE when sending the email.

I have been burned in the past by similar transaction emails/offers by unsavory characters.Con artists.scammers and this is my way to weed out the scammers, for which I am sure you are not but I need to make sure.

Thank you in Jesus' name ---

Ed

Dear Tink,

Thank you very much for replying back to my email if you have be scam before that mean you are calling me a scam, because i have the document covering the funds i believe if you want to stand for me as my beneficiary is the document covering the funds you we ask of not my pic, and you should know that you are send by God to help me get the funds out of the bank please don't let me down because where i am now is not where i can take pic and send to you Dear Tink. i need your help.

I hope to hear from you as soon as possible and please file the below info and send it back to me.

Thanks.

Mrs Zainab,

I am sorry then, may God help you in some other way, without the picture as requested I cannot deal with you as I have been burned in the past and will not go through with it again.

Dear Tink,

Thank for your reply but i am giving you my world this is not any kind of a scam okay if you have be scam before now i am very sorry but i am real where are is not where a can take a pic please try to understand me right , my late husband used to be a special Assistant to Col Muammar Gaddafi just because he resigned and asked Col Muammar Gaddafi to do same for the interest of the people of Libya, He sent his officials to kill my husband.

Since After the death of my late husband ARIF Ahmed, Col Muammar Gaddafi lead government has taken over and sized all my late husband properties that is why i am hid because of Col Muammar Gaddafi officials i don't want them to be kill me that is why i am hiding and i can't take any picture for now.

 But if you want the document covering the funds i we send them to you and the bank contact info for you to contact them and ask them your self if real is true or not, i need you help so much my standing for me as my beneficiary i want the funds to be transfer to you because i know you are a good person that i can trust  as my beneficiary please i need your help so much Dear Tink.

I hope to hear from you as soon as possible.

Sincerely Yours,

Mrs Zainab Ahmed.

Tinkerer69 wrote>>

Dearest,

I am very sorry about your situation, it sounds awful.

I use to be a trusting man, I have helped numerous people in the same situation you are in now, transfering over 125 million dollars in total cash and other assets over the last 10 years.

As I have stated, I need a photo as described in previous messages before I can even begin. 

I have helped folks in worst situations then you are in now, but they sent the pictures from their caves they were hiding in.

These same people are now safely in the States living the good life and not worrying about being killed.

I hope you understand it is nothing personal but I need to protect myself as well. 

As you may know, there are many people out there who flood my virtual doorsteps with pleads of help who are only after one thing...

Again, if you cannot provide the picture as described, I cannot help you except to send good blessings to you.

Sincerly,

Ed

Dear Tink,

Thank for replying to my email , here is not good for me  because  i am so worry here because i need a beneficiary who we stand for me to received the funds for me , Dear Tink did you have a wife ? because i like to know ?send me your cell phone number so that i can have a world with you as soon as possible

Dear Tink the weather here is not too good because there was a lite rain fall here so i am feeling cool .

Thanks.

Mrs zainab.

No wife, never did have one, guess I'm just too mean to have a woman stick around long enough to go to the church to get married.

I've had plenty of girlfriends though. 

No phone.  Got rid of my phone back in 1993, so much easier to communicate online and faster too.

You'd be surprise how much a phone(cell or otherwise) can be a bother, people calling you at 3am telling you they just shot themselves in the stomach and need to be rushed to the hospital!!

I sure do miss my brother though.

Sorry to hear that the weather is icky there.  We might get rain next week which would be nice, make the garden grow!!

Yours,

Tink

Dear Zainab,

How are you today?

I am doing well!!

I just completed my lastest bank transfer for a Nigerian woman whose step mother wanted to kill her because her father, General Asabama Nadikee, had left all his money to her which was in a bank in London, England.

Hanna Nadikee contacted me right before you did.  $98,100,250.32 transfered with little to no problems, I was very glad to help!

Anyways, how are you?'

I am 40, soon to be 41.  No telephone as I stated in a previous message as I hate them and find life to be most wonderful without one.

Do you have a telephone?

If so, get rid of it immediately! People can track you using the GPS chip in the phone and do horrible things to you!

How's the weather? Still raining? I hope not!!

Your Friend,

Tink