What DID we do before the Internet ruled?
I think I remember something about the telephone and family reunions to hear about how dear old Uncle Mark was going to become dear 'Dare not call her old' Aunt Sandy.
But those could be planted memories.
Imagine, telephones, those ancient items buried with the phonograph record players, DVD players and those Atari ET video game cartidges.
Now we can play DVD onlines, phonograph records too. (Meijer and other places now sell phonograph record players. SEE HERE!)
And if I looked not that hard, Atari ET online as well too!
(Note: YES YOU CAN!!! Enough people have searched for such a thing, Google suggests it when you type in Atari ET. It goes: WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY IT ONLINE? Would I?! Not really, that game pissed me off, always falling in the holes!! PFFFFT!!)
What would we do without Facebook?
We'd have to go outside and plant our gardens and raise our farms, and then, when the time came, wander off to market to sell.
"You lost $12,892!" the man at the market would say.
I'd knife him.
Facebook earlier asked me in an ad, just like Open.Salon does when I'm lonely, "Would you like to find love AND happiness?"
I clicked on it and was lead off to Match.com.
Some of you may remember when I did a review on Match.com and also eHarmony.com some time ago on here.
I didn't find love or happiness then either, but did develop a rash.
On my tummy.
Of course, without the Internet, I wouldn't have met my wife 0f over 14 years, cheated on her with that fellow from Canada, nor met 99 percent of my friends on here(82 percent of them are imaginary but we call them alters so they don't get their feelings hurt!!!) and numerous kids of mine have come forward wanting their back child support.
"No speakee engrish!" is my loving response.
Without the Internet, I would not know that El Salvador vs Jamaica Live Streaming HD International was even out there (Thank you kas ful for telling me about that!) let alone they were streaming it.
Podunk Channel 9 doesn't play such things.
Channel 3 does, but, well, we don't get that channel here in Podunk.
We use to, till, Digital went live, then, well, sometimes, new technology ain't the best.
Sometimes, if the weather is right, we MIGHT get the picture for channel 3, but the sound is like garbled, it's like watching your mom and dad fight while you're on drugs.
Course, channel 19, out of Bophunk County, broadcasts LIVE AND IN COLOR ONLINE, 24 HOURS A DAY.
But they just broadcast Reverend Jones' Religious Hour, 24 hours a day straight.
The one on fornicating and how it's bad.
I can get that lecture from my Aunty.
And they do broadcast in color: Black and White are colors.
Without the Internet, free porn, would still be out there, you'd just have to order the JCPenney catalog.
(Who here have these clothes? Besides me of course...Stolen from http://janceedunn.typepad.com/wwwjanceedunncom/2007/09/jc-penneys-19-1.html)
Course, I think, even without the Internet, The American Family Association would still be boycotting places like JCPenney.
I mean, seriously, how gay are those mustaches?
Without the Internet, I wouldn't have gotten the chance to post this.
I could still have typed it out on my IBM Selectric and mailed it, by postal USA, to Reader's Digest or Ladies Home Journal but then they could have just thrown it away.
Easier now to just hit publish and have Google catalog it and well, someone from AFA to find it and then boycott me.
Thank you Internet!