Only a few of my closest friends know this but a long time ago, in another city, I owned an adult book store.
(No, not really...but I did sell antiques in a brick and mortar store, the good stuff, stuff found at the dump, like round oak tables and such! People still throw away some good stuff!!!)
I use to watch folks slink into the store, trying to avoid the eyes of anyone else in the store, sneaking to the back where I kept the "special" stuff.
"Do you have anal beads? Me and the wife are looking to spice up our love life!"
"Do have any bondage masks and a 12 inch strapon?"
"Second shelf from the left...."
"No lube I told you bitch!" his wife yells back.
By the time they slink back out, they've paid enough money to send two of my kids through college.
If I had any kids, which I don't.
Two "friends" come in looking for crotchless panties.
"There on your left...."
Some guy in a trench coat stands in the back eyeing the book covers.
He moves to the magazines and then to the video covers.
After awhile, he leaves.
"Be back tomorrow Sid?" I say with a smile and a nod.
What did I learn running such a business?
- Never ever order popcorn at an adult movie theater. Seriously, do I have to mention that?
- Your mom is hot! That leather body suit really brings out her, uh, toe?
- If Sid asks you, "Do you wanna see my selection?" answer, "NO!"
- Yes, we have the Village People on cassette!
- You can really hurt yerself trying to walk anywhere in them heels. But sure, go right ahead!!!
- That's Ms. Bitch to you cock slave!
- Don't back talk to your Master or Mistress, unless you know, you really do want the whip on your back side tonight!
- You really do want the whip on your back side tonight.
- Vanilla sex is good too.
- Yes, it's okay to use the whole chicken, if you're into that kind of thing
- But yes, you're going to have a lot of explaining to do at the emergency room.
- ER workers need funny stories to tell their friends.
- Your grandma is one kinky girl!
- Perversion does sell a lot of sex dolls!
- But yes, sometimes, those sex dolls do count so you can use the car pool lane.
- Tell the police officer, "My sex dolls ARE so people!!!"
- No, prison.jail is not as fun as they show on those '...in prison' movies!
- Candee Kane is really a nice person outside her 'spank me' persona. She has good candy too!! Chocolate!
- The good chocolate!
- Chocolate should be against the law, it's sooooo good!
- Sloppy seconds was a good movie, compare to Water World.
- Kevin Costner did make some good movies.
- Italian Stallion not so much.
- Twelve inches or Fourteen?
- Realistic? Sure why not!