Tinkerertink69

Tinkerertink69
Location
Your closet, Indiana, France
Birthday
July 16
Title
President and CEO of Your Mom
Company
Your closet
Bio
Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you? Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!! What? Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog. Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!

Tinkerertink69's Links

Salon.com
NOVEMBER 20, 2012 8:44AM

HOW TO MAKE OPEN SUPER AWESOME ONCE AGAIN...

Rate: 11 Flag

Second day of the DON'T POST ON OPEN.SALON --- I've posted twice since, but then, I suck at conforming.

Yes, Open runs like my grandparents, all who are dead and buried since 1969.

The Cover is old and smelly, but it does seem some of the Spammers are being killed off, probably by angry pelicans.

The damn administrator keeps closing the connections unexpectedly which means I have to hit F5 to refresh or pretend I'm a cool kid and go outside and play(mostly with myself but there's nothing new about that!)

I think I might have some ideas to make it super awesome once again.

 

  • Get a new administrator who doesn't have a fetish for closing connections unexpectedly.  If one cannot be found, tell old administrator to post notice when they getting ready to close it. Premature closure should be grounds for divorce.   Damn it!
  • New cover material.  I know there's some of the best picks gone but damn it, there's so much retro stuff out there, including myself, like on the 10th of December, my Blog-a-versary, my very 1st post with the headline THIS IS WHEN IT TRULY WENT WRONG.  Also, Cartoons.  And poetry.  Fiction.  The Bed Wetter Discuss series. ETC.  Do it on a semi-daily basis.  Take some of the best Spam and put that on the Cover too, make it look fresh!!!
  • SPEAK TO THE CONTENT PROVIDER.  This could be Jake posting a message saying, YEP, WE'RE STILL MESSED UP, BUT HERE'S A VIDEO OF A MONKEY SCRATCHING HIS BUTT!!!! Weekly would be nice, guest posters would be awesome, like Kerry posting his recipe for KICK ASS TEA or Retro-Joan Walsh's hats!!! Miss those!!!
  • Cake.  Lots of cake.
  • BITCHES AND MOANS FROM THE CONTENT PROVIDERS. Wait, that's already done, but put them on the Cover until new awesome posters come on board.
  • Movie reviews by drunk cashiers.  You have never had a movie review done right until you're talking to a drunk cashier!!  I know a few, mostly from the casino.
  • Porn.
  • Mind porn.  Also known as mind fucks, such as what use to create some awesome dustups!!!
  • Open Calls, bring those mofo back!!!
  • Your mom!

 

Also, a daily offering of Fancy Feast and a bowl of milk for the local cats(aka me and Sky) might bring you some favors from them, such as NO PEEING ON YOUR SOCKS BEFORE YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING.

Just saying.... 

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Agreed. Well, except the thing about the porn. You just haven't lived until you see full-blown, if you will excuse the expression, blinking and winking escort ads on your page right 'neath some thoughtful meanderings on the benefits of cottage cheese. You got any extra Fancy Feast?
I've worn out the F5 key on my craptop.

Been a long time since we had a good open call (ie, not those proposed by the manglement here). Any suggestions? And maybe, just maybe, the lure of Free Cake will bring back Freaky.... That would be nice. I miss Freaky. She was such a good (read, bad) little troll.
@Tink,

But, but, but..... "conformity" is the "American way" these days. Just ask those sheeple who couldn't just blog and comment elsewhere all by themselves like human people so often do, but had to wait for a new Moses to come along to lead them to the promised land-of-sheeples (admittedly a great creation by lorianne). For some unknown reason many of them, while exercising their right to post wherever the heck they want to, have pledged to "Not Post" on OS for a month.

I know that this is unethical and childish of them but I have also noticed that as they headed over there, things got better and better here on OS. Maybe all OS needed was fewer chuckleheads blogging and posting here! Do I dare express my joy at this result? Probably not.

@Bo,
You are so right! It would be a joy to see good ol' Freaky again. And that cute little, sexy, foot hole of hers!

As to a good Open Call; how about postings on............... "WHY I CONTINUE TO POST ON OPEN SALON"
Tink. Rated.

I receive no monetary benefits from being on OS. But, I do very much appreciate reading the posts and comments of the many caring people and skilled submitters on OS.

I hope your thoughtful suggestions will be pursued.

BTW. Have you and Sky ever had a grooming contest?
One can never get enough videos of monkeys scratching their butts. I think law enforcement needs to investigate the unsubstantiated rumors that Kerry hires stray, misguided youth off the cruel streets to be an OS Ed I Tor, then proceeds to cannibalize them a month or so later. The rate of Ed I Tor turnover is ridiculous.

But I'm sure Bo has given us the path to making OS great again: do whatever it takes to bring Freaky back.
You da man, Tink!

This place is what it is...and I do not see major improvements happening. It obviously is not a profit center...and this IS America, which means what-it-is...is gonna be what it remains.

Some people have got to see that the best tactic is to get the most out of it as possible...and stop complaining.

The boycott is doomed to go nowhere.
Is it morning already?

Why would I boycott OS? How would that actually help administrators know what they are missing? Would they psychically mourn the Pulitzer worthy story Tink did not post?

I have to feed the neighbor's cat now.
DAMNED PELICANS!!!
I VOWED Celibacy Many Times.
I No Ever View Porn. War's Porn.
Dead Bodies Sprawled in Puddles.
`
I Promised To No Read Blogs Too.
I Blame Dear Pleasant Rita Shibr.
My Mouse is Wiggling all About.
`
I may Ask Anglers How To Hook.
Worm Wiggle Like Creepy Hacks.
Trout Fish Need Guts Cuts-Outs.
`
tr ig and Dear Natalie K. Munden?
Frank is Good Natured. He Cooks.
Ask F. Aspa To Scale Catfish Skins.
`
Boy. Oh, my OHO` Another Day.
I read ELMO QUIT ` Sesame St..
Maybe baby Jesus ` Cry` Merry.
` huh
` okay
` kerry
` Jake
`
Why Do my Mouse Wiggle` Bout.
You Respond? You Hack ` Fishes.
You or Who is Vain` Sociopaths?
`
Later?
You dead?
Hide in Hole?
You in Dungeon?
You Be Dead Bones?
You Walking Corpse!
You STINK ` Heavin!
I go get a ` Goat Milk!
`
You Ever Be CURSED?
I Just CURSED Ya huh.
Ya NO ON LEVEL? No!
`
call Eric Holder or Who?
I Call Baby Jesus asap's?
Mother Merry. Mercy?
`
Devil Torment smiles?
No. Evil Ruins Creeps.
Have a Ruined Misery?
I love your suggestions. Especially the cake one. Cake makes EVERYTHING better, even cake.
If any one of us had absolute surity that a cadre of techs was at our disposal, we could make meaningful improvements.

Instead, the techs are at the (no infringement, wink) dispose-all, close ITAL, wanders of...
If any one of us had absolute surity that a cadre of techs was at our disposal, we could make meaningful improvements.

Instead, the techs are at the (no infringement, wink) dispose-all, close ITAL, wanders of...
I'm not a conformist but I'm tired of how long it is taking for the site issues to be resolved. When they are, I'll come back. I don't want to post anything for fear it would get another EP. I've been on the cover for over a month now. Hopefully it'll come down tonight...I've finally reached the bottom (almost).
Sure 'nough. Yer typos come out in multiples. That's a surety.
Sure 'nough. Yer typos come out in multiples. That's a surety.
I think we need a cover featuring nothing but Tink.
@Tinkerertink69

That's a good list, but I won't be satisfied by anything till we all get a generous supply of hookers and cocaine.
I finally got in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel so pubescent! Good to see you again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!nice kitty!
I finally got in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel so pubescent! Good to see you again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! arghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!nice kitty!
How to make OS awesome again.... OR NOT!!!! >:|
How to make OS awesome again.... OR NOT!!!! >:|
How to make OS awesome again.... OR NOT!!!! >:|
How to make OS awesome again.... OR NOT!!!! >:|
How to make OS awesome again.... OR NOT!!!! >:|
Wow... I pushed submit twice, and it appeared 10 times... in fact... to illustrate a point.. it took OS 3 minutes to open the link to this post... 5 minutes to post (although I didnt know it posted until I refreshed and saw it did it a gazillion times)... and I bet now, It will do it again.
Okay, I accept the challenge, and have posted an open call.
I only had one comment on my latest post. From a SPAMMER

I have contacted CNN

WHY?

Because they have had Salon on as guests many times.


http://www.cnn.com/feedback/show/?s=newstip
I only had one comment on my latest post. From a SPAMMER

I have contacted CNN

WHY?

Because they have had Salon on as guests many times.


http://www.cnn.com/feedback/show/?s=newstip
Tink, I heard that your suggestions were taken up at a staff meeting this afternoon! Look for implementation very soon!
My recommendation -- an all-you-can-eat buffet!
NILE, do I!!! No I don't!! :( :D

Boaner, I think we need some open calls. They make it fun!! And I miss the Troll too. :( She knew cake!!!

sky, I continue to blog here for the love!! Come here!! ~huge hug~ :)

Lyle, just once, and neither of us could stop grooming, so the contest was called off by the judges!! :D

cihan, thank you so much donkey fucker!!! I LOVE YOU!! :D

Stim, AMEN!! But cihan is pretty damn awesome too!!! Loves them donkey butts!!!! :D And by love, I mean, well, read my comment to them!! :D

Frank, exactly!! Plus, since I gave up caring, it's more fun to blog! :D

Natalie, exactly!!! Cihan (whatever number they think next) would be lonely too!! :D

Trig, DAMN THEM TO HELL!! Cihan probably fuck them too!!

Art, I'd go fishing, but my pole broke!! :( :D

Alysa, ~nodding~ CAKE IS GOOD!!!

Stacey, I'm trying to get Salon to hire Cihan and their group of spam bots to fix the issues here. So far, no response!! HAHAHAHA!! :D

(And the multiples add to my comment count!! :D)

Mime, but it's the Perfect Cover!! ;D

jl, GOOD IDEA!! :D

Anthony, GOOD IDEA!! COCAINE AND HOOKERS FOR EVERYONE!! :D

Muse!! WELCOME!! :D

Orange, yeah, ya gotta love the multi-post button!! :D

librarienne, I will go check it out!!!!

Dianne, Foxnews should have them on!! :D

design, do I have to bare with them? I'M THERE MY FRIEND!!

Nick, oooo yeah, good idea!! :D