Your closet, Indiana, France
July 16
President and CEO of Your Mom
Your closet
Smell my Paws! Does that smell like poo to you? Writer? No way! I'm a guy with a cat who knows my passwords and likes to blog!! What? Oops, I mean, I'm a cat who likes to blog. Smell my paws!!! French prostitutes? Only on Tuesdays!! Lets cuddle!!


Tinkerertink69's Links

JANUARY 4, 2013 8:53PM

Fun time writing: The Ultimate Road Trip

Rate: 9 Flag


We started down the road, engine roaring, passing the lights and sounds of a dead town who doesn't know it's dead yet.

We thought we'd stop at the local liquor store, Johnny was out of wine and was beginning to make sense as we made it pass some road signs, 'Buy Burma Shave!' he would scream as each sign rolled by.

'Jesus saves!'

'Shit for brains! Shit for brains! Buy yourself a life with ACME School of Dog Grooming!'

The liquor store was an old church, converted to selling booze.  The woman behind the counter was dead in soul, but kept her body moving just to pretend she was alive.

I asked about the specials.

"Donkey sperm, $1.25!" she said, pointing to the aisle labeled donkeys and other wild animals.

Johnny stayed quiet as we move towards the whiskey and grabbed some bottles.

"You'd like it! Taste like strawberries!" she continued, taking our money and holding our hands.

We moved away quickly from the store, back onto the road, heading someplace, nowhere fast, when the world began to spin again.

It had stopped at a quarter past two last week, but then restarted, slowly at first, reaching top speed before we reached Tucson.

By then, we were sober, or close to sober.

There was acne on our butt, but the heroin wasn't killing our regrets for sleeping with that prostitute in Duluth.

We decided to spend the night in a crap motel, 'Yellow Rose --- hourly rates too!' read the sign.  Each room had its own garage, room enough for two cars, in case each spouse of the other decided to snoop.

Most didn't, why snoop when you could have your own affair down the road at Ed's Motel, with the same benefits of a garage built for two cars.

Rooms by the hour.

And according to their sign, they had RCA color TV.

Six different channels, four of them nothing but snow.

But who was there to watch the TV.

We were there to listening to Moana moaning in the next room.

We drifted off to sleep and awoke the next morning with a horrible taste in our mouth.

We began our journey once more, slipping down the road, towards adventure, but first we had breakfast of eggs, cheese, sausage, green testicles, all wrapped in a shell of toasted corn and donkey sperm.

Somewhere, down the road, past the sign that reads, "Your mom is a whore!" we saw a deer sleeping on the side of the road, it's head completely gone, but sleeping just the same.

We didn't know where we were going and had no idea where we had been, but we continued on.... 

Your tags:


Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:


Type your comment below:

DO NOT...... I repeat...... DO NOT !!! Smoke, snort, drink, or shoot up, any more of whatever that was!!

It was rat poison!! :D
I loved this more than usual.
Channelling HST, I see. Or is that LSD?
is this the beginning of a book.
is this the beginning of a book.
That motel is in Utah. I know. I've been there.
All I know is if heroin doesn't kill regrets for sleeping with Duluth prostitutes I'm seriously fucked.
Margaret, ahhh thanks!! :)

Boaner, little of both!! :D

Amy, who knows! A lot of times I write and think about it, then, I wander off to new projects!! :)

lefty, it sure is!! :D

cheshyre, me and you both my friend!!! :( :D
I was with Moana. Why do you think she was moaning.
I'm still on this trip. And it wasn't a deer, it was a jackalope named Andy.
Trudge, Moana likes to moan!! WOO!! DEER AND THE ANTELOPE PLAY...PLAY WHAT? CHECKERS!!!!
Absolutely brilliant post! I! Oh look!l Absolutely... What the fuck were we talking about?