Sometime this afternoon, a woman's medication wore off just as she passed me as I sat on the cold hard floor of the cosmetic department throwing products by Revlon into spots.
"If I hadn't seen you sitting there, I wouldn't have stopped and remembered, I needed eyeliner!" she said, smooshing her boobs into my face reaching over to get them. She pulled back and smiled.
She had a very pretty smile.
The kind of smile that makes you forget you're hanging eye liner.
She thanked me, for being a reminder and winked, then dropped her phone number in my lap.
"Really Tink? DID YOU GET LUCKY?" the crowd yells in unison.
I sure did! I finished up the box of cosmetics with a half hour to spare.
"No!! You dumbass!! Did you really get her phone number?? Did she really press her boobs into your face?"
She really did. But no phone number.
This is a Tink story, not Penthouse Letters!
You're not going to believe this but I got my boner rubbed by a woman named George in a K-Mart shoe department. Wooo!
I'm not sure how to handle situations like that, never have, except to make the motor board sounds when the breasts get pushed in like that.
If they giggle, then what? Say, "I know this is crazy, but here's my number, call me maybe!!" Then giggle with them?
God, I hope so, cause that's what I did.
She did have a very young child with her. Maybe she's hard up, looking for a baby's daddy.
"Are you my daddy?"
"Nope, but hell, you seem okay kid, so call me Unca!"
"Here's ten bucks!!"
Bribing the new girl friend's kids is still acceptable right?
Was back in my dating days back in 1921!
No, no, I'm not ready for dating, wasn't ready for dating when I met my Pamela way back when in 1996 in a chat room.
God, who would have thunk it, me and her together till Death decided it needed another person for bridge!!
GET SOMEONE ELSE TO PLAY CARDS WITH YOU!!!
Course, Facebook hates seeing me alone, so it has decided to send me someone who says she's in Ohio but I believe she is Russian bride-in-waiting*(aka Nigerian Princess!!!).
"Hi! Let us be friends! Tell me all about you!"
"Hi! What do you want to know?" I respond.
"Everything!" she responds.
I tell her everything.
"I am chronic masturbator who wets the bed at the age of 41! I like cheese! How about you?"
She hasn't responded yet, but it's late in Ohio.
If boob girl at the store doesn't work out, maybe Ohio Lady will. She seems nice, very interested in me.
I bet she'll want money though.
Lots of it.
Have to buy a bus ticket to Buttfalls, Indiana so we can "get to know each other better!!"
A bus ticket is like what, $2.95????
Well worth the price of 'Getting to know each other!'
God bless the Internet!!!!!
Good night and have a better tomorrow.